Making stew

The seringe is ordered

So soon the manic rambling should stop again~

A custom written social frame

About my opperational sec

Its low, i am aware

My dreams alterted me multiple times

But like i am not doing anything interesting

Like just send some weed

If there is a need for better sec send some stuff

Like i am quite a brat

Like i konw the mantra of only trusting who is involved with something

But like i dont care about the sec for that level, bc i dont even want the infos

I dont care to store sensitive data

If it needs obvuscation / a level where mere encryption is not enough

I dont want to know

Like every unsecured node in a network is a risk, so if there is a need

But like i dont care bout that need

If someone has a need they may

But i don’t wanna get weight i dont need

And anything opperational shouldn’t remain

Like me beeing arround is just acidental

I have no need to see more

Like i just keep where i am not interesting

I like to be able to sleep Soundly

Artist archetype

I am out staring into space not bothered

I am just answering to get the unwanted attention away

Like i am aware but am not really interested

, Like i am obviously curious

But like, i like good sleep

https://youtu.be/QNFlk2B1ig8

https://youtu.be/bdpv-wuY9qo

https://youtu.be/r8JyiZ4Wkl4

My perception is calibrated for big social systems

Its like a scope where you look into the distance

And someone really close walks infront of it

If i see anything painful its is perceived with that magnification

Like thats fine if its a big system so everything is far away

But things close

Its like tripping and beeing oversensitive to light of any kind

Like if not needed you recalibrate it

But i currently need it for the project

I was wearing a cap for like a bit

Like with school i was proposed to lead group efforts

But refused and gave it to someone else

It feels the same

Leadership positions do be a lot of responsibility

Like i really just think diapis are comfy

And they help with my ptsd

Bx they a emotional analogy

Its a meter to fill and get emptied again

To get some weed to calm me down ~

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DrMSCEoTfmc&si=hK-df_nM39QpIBBq

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Gol5sPM073k&si=dfzaiX-LDV2n6qJo

https://youtube.com/watch?v=3Bvi8206lpA&si=vksRKHmNhw2C1wBX

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxcarMao3DboDL4GfxvW2K_I9k2pp7SwjA?si=C4bgHvI81WSEMJvP

https://youtube.com/watch?v=JBM_9zjSWXw&si=qKV_7oLmlcG4jPtv

So we were at the diapi thingy

Was fun

Were eating

Also went somewhere mine was when they were younger, was good for them i feel like, to be there again, with me

See things again

was interesting

Like i am usually not that much of a ppl person

Forget my hormones tho

For a bit mine was just petting me while i was shaking

Bc thats my dmt ptsd which comes back without the hormones, in certain places

I start shaking, bc i get waves of fear, from waves of pure understanding

I already had forgotten it existed

Bc the hormones are usually working

Which is good

Like i am not just a self righteous brat

I get hit with understanding at any sign of malificence, without hormones

Like mine was talking to me

And was like

My heart beats faster, my breathing is quicker

And i was like

Yeah thats when you see a bigger block of reality, its physically scary

But ppl were nice, it was quite fun^~^

I am just not that much of a ppl person i feel like

https://youtu.be/4fNk2Ya_HSA

Bejond journeys end ep 13

I like

Also rewatching made in abyss with mine in general

Filters

Zoning by timeframes