Walked in a circle for 3h
My living situation is depressing me
But like i told everything to my therapist, and they also did not know what to say~
I have troubleshooted everything possible out, i just seem to have bad luck for some reason ~
Like i am massively succeeding, while at the same time massively failing
He did not have any answer, we just kinda joked about it
Bc like what else
If there were anything feasible, i would already be going it~
I have made diagrams and lists etc,
Like i just feel lost
Like i cant be happy or enjoy my successes bc they are contrasted by my equal failues, it seems outside of my control
Btw they send me to get full bottom surgery and gave me a list of docs
Like most trans girls would be extatic
And i dont feel a thing but feeling trapped and hopeless since weeks
If not months
I am awake for 24+ hours
But i speak honest still
There is no hell comparable to the feeling of falling so short of my own expectations by something seemingly out of my control
.
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