I am wasting my life
What am i waiting for again?
Oh yeah the money for moving
Whats the price of a moving van again?
Cool
The issue with being social is
It shows me exactly what i am waiting for
Like i mean social in a regard where ppl dont know me and i am not inside any family frame
Like u came to me, dont ask me for your values
I do whatever i like and you do likewise
Like a lot of social stuff is just boring to me, bc social stuff is ppl
So its the ppl that are boring, but i am only allowed to say that when i dont know ppl
Like they met me like this
Like i am trying to get to a point where i am just outside in a kigu and ppl know me like that
And then i can sleep when i am bored and ppl know i will sleep
But in general, i should only be somewhere bc i have explicit interest
Like i was at my mums birthday over the weekend, slept a lot, like the ppl seemed to have fun
But like idk wasn’t interested
Like ppl tried
But like i was hoping for something interesting to happen
Or to get some sleep, which i did
Like these hormones are making me mad in social situations, like ppl smell the hormones unconsciously
I need to ask my doc
This gel is a alcoholic tincture, like the ethanol kind from the smell
Like it smells like the destilled medial one you use for chemistry
Thats probably harmful to the fat of the skin, especially regularly applied
Like yes, probably just lotion, but should ask
I am in such a haze rn
Like general with living
Everything feels surreal
Like i am working
I am taking hormones
But i havent felt like the impulse where its like
Okai, i am moving again
May be the estrogen tho
Like i can do slow progress now instead of impulses
Like i think my issue is i haven’t had a interesting conversation in ages
Like the interesting ppl all got the same idea as i do, they all chilling in the bigger cities
Like its its own archetype of young going to big city
Like i like that story, its romantic
It makes for good sstro… Story writing..
I completely forgot
I was writing my life like a book for myself to read for some time
I should get back to that
Leave a Reply