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I just wrote a part

Just wrote a part of the transgender thing,

.. Wow, like i am a fucking beast

I wrote in german, which i didnt do for a long time, and i am the most confident and competent person i ever met

Like there is a difference between writing in your second language and your original one

Its like i have to ask these questions about myself and dangers, and reflect on my life

I know exactly what i want

I know i can trust myself

And there is no doubt about my decisions

I can give the exact thing that is causing all the multitudes of worldly things happening, in detail and with cultural refferences

I know exactly what fears and dangers will come at me and i heroically accept them as part of my path

I am such a interesting person,

Like u usually dont look at yourself like that

Now it makes so much sense that the ppl arround me would always support me with everything they have

Like no wonder i have the feeling i could do everything:p

Like i didnt even notice~:Dd

It was just normal for me to be like that

I have really come such a faar way

Ayy thanks to everyone supporting me, i get it too now:Dd

Damn i must be sooo scary to some ppl:Dd

That makes so much sense, now i understand why i got so much weight in whatever room i am in

Like i was at the birthday of my grandma, and there was this little kid, and all the girls were caring to him

He didnt really know what to do with me, but decided he respects me somehow

So there is this bench, like a screwd down one thats going into the middle of the room, with a like 15 cm wide like leaning thing, where you sit with your back against

So he was standing on the bench, and my aunt was watching him

He tried to sit on the too leaning thing, and my aunt was telling him, no

So i looked what the comotion was about

Saw it, analysed the situation in like half a sec, in which the social dynamics between the 2 stoped to a halt, and he looked at me

I did not see it as that dangerous, and looked away again, already smiling, bc i see patterns

And i hear my aunt screaming loudly, no!

Like he read me, and saw that i did not see danger, and ignored her and went along

Like i met him the first time, and already had more influence than the person he knew

I always wondered about those situations :Dd

I finally understand now^~^

Me beeing cute must be such a hard contrast:p

Like i put it there, but i usually dont see it from the outside, thats fucking hilarious :Dd

The ppl near me must have a fucking death wish, like i am mostly not harming anyone , bc it harms me bc i am empathic as hell, like i can, but i will feel it too

But u dont know that when you meet me:Dd

Like low social guys look away when i look at them, i always wondered about that:p

That was so insightful ^~^

What the hell:Dd didnt expect that

Like what even

I felt like a small kitty that was doing small kitty things

Like no one told me that, i was just doing things as usual, fixing and upgrading my system here and there

I knew i had the shadow of something big, but i never actually checked what i am now:Dd

Thats fucking mad, like i was always busy doing something, i never really cared about the result, i just got lost in the process of doing stuff, for like some years..

Actually how long has it been since i started changing things, that must have been with like 15, so thats about~8 years

Hah now wonder :p i am learning skills, reinvesting my stuff, upgrading, editing, testing, and repairing my systems since nearly 10 years now, and i never even bothered to check what it looks like

I feel stupid :Dd but also happy^~^

Like i always just trusted myself that i am doing something thats going somewhere, and was fine with that

Like yaaay^~^ it worked

but damn, that worked~:p

Well~ what do i do now:Dd ahh

I guess same as always, wait now i just changed a big part of the system,

Which is insane by itself~

I guess trust myself and i get somewhere:p

Sounds good ^~^

Ayy thats soo good to know