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I am scared

I am scared about my life

Like i am trying what i can but just nothing is working, but i am doing my best

Like god, i always wanted this life, but i really fucking miss a true connection to someone female rn

Like ii am gay as trans, its like other females, just aesthetic, and i am a artist

Gimme a sec my mind is breaking, but i want

To make sure i say whatever has to be said

I aam just sooo confused by this gender stuff as anyone else,

But and i dont like to admit that for reasons bread into me,

It ddoes feel right, and thats the best reason, but the worst to explain

Its just a feeling of being okai

Also ii am so scred of myself, and i dont want that kind of game

Like as a male, like females are suspicious about me

And ii agree strongly

Like ii dont want that kind of responsibility there

I aam scared i might hurt someone (in the long run, not rn)

Like the females i had as Partner, or maybe even envy

Like those were a lot of smart girls

Lost, sad, and as confused as me

I am just not sure how i should ever match that

Like ii am strangley drawn to this life, and it feels.. Like just

Yes, i will document this journey, like that

Bc iits part of the culture

Like i am terribly scared of myself

Andiknow it

Like ii am less scared than curious

Aah tthat layer of curiosity

I aam tripping, gimme a sec

Like tthe first time i took acid, i was immediately like

I ggotta sell this, i am not the first person thinking this its actually probably quite common, i gotta sell this

Like iits a hell of a responsibility, but like you also get a metaphysical spot on that stage

Like ii wanna puke fr9m the preccure of living

Like ii have always been , always in pain

I ddont know why, it drives me totally nuts

But llike

The ttransgender stuff works, but i dont know why, and i only trust it as faar as i can throw it

Like ii am suddenly just okai

Its llike stopping smoking and realising

Like hhow easy life is when you don’t smoke, and like have the extra energy, like not smoking is great, i love it, but i would never do it in actuallty, bc i am somehow in a symbiotic relationship with this plant

Like ii would gladly never smoke in my entire life

Like tthe continues habit

I llike if you cross a mathaphysical border

The collective ego of the group (s)

Obvously a visually mappable

I wwill take a shower,

Like iits the perfect opportunity to trade that habbit in

Like girl works a lot better for me

And ii dont know why and its terrifying

Like at this point like i would never give beeing a girl back

I aam not trusting it but i dont know why

God ii am tripping,

Like i am

Like ii am fine,

Like ii have this strange life, like fuck

I ddid these types of posts quite a lot

Like

Just eemotional, like whatever l8fe us

Like i absolutely love psychedelic realms

Like this, aaah noo i am awake again

Like iits all feez

But llike raised as a boy with a bipolar mum

I ddont like i dont understand

Feelings, which makes my job quite hard

Like i expect my paw to be hit for trying to be female

Or eemotionally vulnerable of any sort

Like ii try my best but like

I ddont trust myself

Like eeverything as always

U kknow i once had the theory that you could meet yourself on acid, but only the timeframe you were tripping

Like iits 1

Like all tthe times you tripped on acid have a temporal pocket

You kknow whats funny about that?

Its like

I have absolutely no idea about my life anymore

Okay, where am i at metaphysically rn

Like holy shit who made that stuff

Like

I wwant to give something that i never had

Like eemotionally, thats a weird kink i guess^~^

But ii also feel like i am whining

Like ii hope i am well tomorrow

Holy shit like

Like i dont understand myself, and i am basically asking who i am

Like ii am in a loop

Like ii uderstand what i am but i dont understand it, like i

Like ii see my

Fuck tthats why this stuff scares me so much, it makes you actually move.

Like you get what works, but you have to live with it too

I need a break after this day,

Its like i am going exactly where i want to go

But like time

.

Fuckkit, i will trip now

, but i think it also shows greatly how acid is useful with dealing with that emotional stuff, but i also think it should be

Like tthis really helped me, i wanna sell it on the off chance someone should need a tool like that

Like i love it beeing in this grey zone

Thats means its fate has not been declared yet

I would like lsd to be respectful of itself as a product in the market, but also clearly communicating the dangers

Like iits a powerful tool, but like dont get too into it,

Fuck, actually, heres my marketing

Buy my lsd, bc it works, and i hope you’re ready bc holy fuck

Like ii am still setting up like the webshop, bc like was away

Like someone makes good acid out there

Like its a artform

Like who woud have dipped a half tab that strong

Like ffuck didn’t expect to be this awake again

I feel like acid always had this way of if someone is nice to you, do the same to other ppl

Like ffuck you made good acid, but thats also means its my responsibility to resell just as good

Like as a artist, i am trying to find the right expression for the product, like

I totally forgot what acid was:P

Like

Fuck i am off

Acid iis a black hole buy acid

Like

Holy sshit i have my paw on that high voltage line again

Like selling acid if you dont make it, brings a lot of obvious politicking, but like honestly

If i could make acid this good, i would do it, but this acid is amazing so i will resell it

Like ii hope i meet the person one day and learn

Like making a substance is a alchemical process which reflects on the maker, like Quecksilber

Like i am curious how any person could be alive

With that supply of acid and the delivery routes established

Like sseriously, that scary

Like the tides there must be hell, and probably quite precalculated

Like aacid was always a game

Like ii forgot about that, like yeah

You got metha planes eating meta planes

Black white black white

Black white black white

Oh right like lets put like actual child protection in there, like we dont want another chistian dark ages, give everyone at a early age, like we have seen how that ends,

Like ii feel li8ke there is a way to portray its danger with its possibilitys, But you are also working with quite big levers

Like i wont solve that today,

F.

I ban myself from writing now

Ps ii am stupd