Author: EmeraldStorm

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx7A9PHvBwobyVnhjmtDiCut_mvng0nCto

Fedi is still as calming as it always was

Idk it feels a lot more how social media should be

Like its ppl just chilling, doing their thing, without a regard for what ppl think

Like it lacks the corporatism and appeal to please the last generations and their not understanding and trying to savespace, and i dont think thats bad

It just makes ppl calm and at peace

Like there is no outrage, its just ppl do different things and thats okai

Like i was trading cake recipes back then~

But like how to make cake is not treated differently than someone’s foursome, and i am quite happy about that

Like in that sort of environment i can chill

Like its like those African tribes where girls just walk arround with boobs exposed, just bc its not seen as something sexual there

Like nah, you ppl are the odd ones for taking everything sexual, its is not inherently so

You are the ppl making it weird by beeing offended by it

You are the issue, not the body parts

But like i wont say that, bc who cares about convincing ppl about anything, let them run off the cliff and get popcorn ~

Of money was actually a great experience

Like there are certainly more fun things

But its certainly something to do 1ce in your life

Like from a experience standpoint

I am sure its great for character development or something to that regard

Also like i am kinda monetizing it bc more ppl probably know me now ~

So like certainly interesting ~

If she shits on my carpet again, i will actually make him a she~

Tomorrow

I need to finish editing that video

Like i usually wouldn’t, but like i also make the sound quality better and stuff

Do burocracy and then work

If i manage well, then there should hopefully be nothing in my way by Tuesday ^~^

But tomorrow will be hard ~

Like that burocracy is what pains me, without that, things would be sunny

Like its the tax ppl, and its a IT issue on their side, but if i cant get them to move it will still cost me 200

Like its like the 4th time now that i am trying to resolve that~

I want that finally closed so i can focus on important stuff~

Like it also keeps my calories up, persistently

Like if i dont gain weight with hormones and someone consistently send food to me

Like it has a health benefit besides convenience

Like i had a dream with a fridge full of pizza

And was confused, like why i have so much pizza, like great but odd

So thats when i remembered those ingredient delivery things exist

Like i should have food in case, but basically, they send what i need with how to make it

I looked into their tos, you can basically quit without much issue for the one i looked at

Like if the big payment is gone my moving budget is half done

Like then ill consider testing the smallest thing they sell to test

Like it’ll cost me 40 for a week, like its on sale for 15, but like i calculate with real price

It gets cheaper the more you take

But like i can just get more easily, but like i wanna test how much of a difference it makes

Like it fits well with me not having to go shopping that often

So like i can also phase out the energys with the smoking, possibly

Like it will probably also help with getting a apartment

Like u talk with ppl,

Yeah i work from home, and i do my own stuff

Oh yeah smart home, ah my food just gets delivered

No i dont smoke or have pets

Like i sound really comfy and less like, student who will party a lot

And like i dont really do much, like i am a handful, but i am basically quite tame if the hormones work

Or really hyper bc antidepressant

Like girls, remember your puberty? Yeah, that will be great fun:p

Good thing ill be arround much new ppl, i think that will be really interesting ^~^

Like i sound impressive on paper

Raised properly for a guy

If i needed money my dad would just offer that i help with work

And like carry a palette of stone stairs up 3 layer of stairs

Like to raise a guy, thats great parenting and showing the value of money

Like it was never preasured, but i still did it anyways, bc what a guy gonna do, refuse a challenge?

But like thats not how my brain works and i am somehow a girl:p

And still dont understand the value of money~

Like i am such a brat, bc i am just a brat:D

Like the idea was good, but like whatever i am seems genetic or something, where i will still do what i was designed to do

No matter the education

Like if i want i can, but my wants are quite curious and odd often

Like you cant uneducate transgender

Value judgments

Like speaking about cost function optimization on that for value

Like ppl aim for like designer stuff

But like there is a category over that

Custom

Like something greatly made, which is custom has intrensically more value

Bc like i am sure you would like to buy it, but you can’t bc it was specifically made for me

Like including design

Like no matter the cheaper price in another country, i know a experienced artist if i see them

Like thats the thing with artists, it takes forever to get good at it, but at some point they just dripping with value

Bc they just make something cool you cant buy

Like i am optimizing too, but not on brand, but custom quality

Like it takes time, but i think it will be really worth it

Bc at some point everything will just be high quality

Like not brand better material, but deep custom fitted, plus better material

But like your entire environment needs to be adapted to that

Like i was the male child of a like outside working person ruff guy,

I don’t like beeing dirty~

Like i have nothing against getting dirty, but like

For instance, working that job, i would get mad with all my fur arround, trying to keep things clean

Like these things require some upkeep

Like i will not do the upkeep for a designer thing, but like if i like chose the fabric, had it custom made to my measurements,

Like obviously I’ll do the upkeep for that

Like everyone likes nice things

But also everything you own, owns you

So i am really careful with getting the high level items i want

And making sure they really are what i want~

I work my normal job to cover food and rent n stuff

And side projects and jobs for everything i randomly want

I should have a puffer for if i really need something

Down-payment, money for furniture etc to move in also has its prepared budget

Like if everything works as planned, things are looking good

Like i should be sufficiently motivated to make money on my own, but also have the important things secured, and a buffer if i miscalculated

Like from there i can work

In my mid 20s, working from home, with a side quest, the apartment smart homed, and my food delivered to me automatically

Near a bigger city but a bit outside

A sufficient skill set and my psychologycal fixed

Like if i can get a random stack, i am golden

But like i should really not have much to complain about ^~^

Like i will probably still to~

Like thats the trade with high risk high reward psychological traits

Its really unlikely we’ll win, but if we do, its big

But its not like its a choice ~

Like i will not have sums of money to spend yet, but i should be living quite comfy anyways

Like if i survive till then and dont get hit by something again~

Like by age, i can just mix in with the other ppl studying whatever economics degree they are doing

But like i dont need to reorient after i have my degree

If i make a step foreward from that point

It should go directly into my pocket

Like education here is free, and the loans are great, like without interest, and like you only have to pay back like half of it

But like u still paying a loan, meaning economic slowdown while in your best years

Like i would take that loan, no question, from a economical standpoint like half is free money

But it also would bind me to showing up at some school each week

Like i could study art or something

Like i think my time is better invested elsewhere

Like ill probably be there anyways bc i met the ppl somewhere randomly ~

But like ill try this one^~^

Outsourced, and me finally getting my hormones, the last items baught and big bills paid

I can readjust budgets to nails, hair and social stuff

Like there is only 1 hair person i trust in this area to do a premium job, but they also are not cheap

Like the others are good too, i am just bratty about wanting good, when i readjust things

Like i dont want to get into a habit of buying cheap quality services bc they cheap

Like i am girl and i had enough trouble for this life, like no, i aim high like i always do

Also i need to find nail girls with good oils

Like in a big city, like you have 10 to choose from, so either i wait, or go looking for someone with good quality

Like nono i am completely mad

But i will still try to get what i want

Like the bathtub is the most important thing

So like moving is probably more important

Like next payday i hopefully have half of what i need, like depending on how much that big bill removes, and other ppl asking for money etc etc

Like if i can actually keep my money, i should have half, but its a tight fit

The month after i should have

Like then i can go looking for a appointment

And from there i can add extra for furniture and security and actually making sure i have 3 months

Clean up things here properly

And then move

Like if the side job continues as planned ~

Do you get good fabrics?

Like if i have everything done and am stacking

Like i can get like really good quality fabric

And bring it to someone in a country where making things custom is cheap

But like if all my measurements change with hormones, i need to wait~

Like i feel like a girl needs a good cashmere winter coat with fur

And a silky back summer dress

I had baking mix for lemon cake

Which i baught like 2 months ago

Like its so easy to make good sweets these days

Also btw i added cacao powder

If i jad apples, they would fit greatly

Hunter not sure what to do now from Unexpected

Hunter not sure what to do now from Unexpected

Hunter not sure what to do now from Unexpected

furry🥤irl from furry_irl

To my social tendencys

Like i am quite unsocial

But like i actually met ppl i vibe with but they usually, smart, artists or furrys

Its the type of person who has things going on

You can meet and work on stuff separately without issue, or like do something together

But that fear of

Oh another person is here, we need to do what’s in the social rulebook

Is not as prominent

Like with those ppl i vibe, but they seem rare

Like consistent with statistics

But like from experience

It seems i am more really picky than unsocial

Like i baught the fine sugar like a month ago, so i can glaze stuff

Oh yes, waffles and pancakes exist

Lemon cake

Chocolate cake

Chocolate mouse

Like i am not that social rn, so i don’t need cookies or like that sweet cake on shelf, but like i can make for me^~^

If i can avoid the ppl asking larger sums

There is actually only 1 item for 7 i need

Which is the Bluetooth remote keyboard

Then its just addons

Picture frame for tv

Toilet water thing

Like i will try to not spend all my budget from then on, and put part of it to the side for other random purchases ^~^

Like cheesecake, more sweets, or whatever comes to my mind or comes up randomly, mirror foil

Like i am just filling a value pool then to use^~^

Like i am scared to spend 7 untill i am sure those ppl are not asking for bigger sums

Like the 7 wont make a difference ~

Still, i do

There are cheap plastic shelves

Like you dont buy those if you have any common sense

Bc you open them and get the feeling your shelf is collapsing

But there is actually a solution to this

You secure them to the wall

You should secure all shelves to the wall

No one does, but you should

Second, they are ugly

But no matter, bc i will reskinning them with mirror dragon scales anyways

Like the thing is, they have also a practical matter, bc i can expand by usecase

Like if i sit there like, i have this great shelf, but like i just have too many clothes for it, like thats a issue

Like this i can just expand cheaply by need

Opening will just be done by string going along the back and 1 small motor

Like i want just a mirrored wall, push a button or something and the scales open up and you can get whatever you want

It makes the room bigger, and also its just cool

Like bout 50 for a 1x1m cube, like including everything

Ill put it on the list~

Also like, i have a avertion to heavy shelves n stuff

Edit the rest of that video

And some burocracy on Monday

Then ii should be fine for now

Like i have a stack of papers to sort into my folder

if i can then make it to the next salary

Things should hopefully only go up ^~^

So Tuesday i can hopefully clean again

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxFqAaovnECLkfs0mT5D1cbl_4Xx1ohizQ

Probably use trello

Like i can give the guy the link to his board and he can watch whats in queue, whats beeing done, and whats done

Like you can tell ppl whats going on, but like this they can just look at it an see how things are progressing

I am curious if i can link my general project management and trello

Or if i can just give the link for my project management to a specific project to someone

Like i like the progress bars it has

Like thats furry comissions

You pay me before i start doing anything, bc you only have so many customers never show up again till you start asking half first

No working for exposure etc

Its the training of a social structure which has a active marketplace

Where you can actually try what works on real customers

In this case, without having to buy 10000 worth of stock, bc you are selling furry art

Like life gets messy, but i cant be running after my money all the time~

I should be able to do that on Monday ^~^

They just send me the video there,

The reason u use email or drive is, files actually get compressed by all those apps,

So the result will always be better with better quality video

Like u ppl know me ill probably do it tomorrow ~

But like if i dont put ppl in slots despite how i actually do it,

Ppl will always expect to get it as fast as possible

Like quality will decrease if i am stressed, so its actually quite important i keep myself comfy^~^

Like i need to compare the refference they gave me to what they are already doing to get a feel for what they actually want

Like they are not split testing based on data, else things would be more specific

Like i can probably put my autouploader as a bonus gift onto negotiations

But i would probably need to explain how to use it~

Like i said, who knows what the market does:p

To change the db on the server

Btw i just got cigarettes, bc like 2 weeks till i get hormones ~

They so expensive 0-0 like usually i buy 1ce or 2ce a week tabacco for like 5

1 pack alone is 8, like that be so expensive, how u ppl smoking?

Like thats where i am selling the premade video content, which i was generating with the script

And i got a request for video editing on that

Like at some point i noticed, its usually enaugh to be arround in the market, ppl will hit you up with whatever they need

Which target ppl who cant distinguish between “old it infrastructure” and “the cloud”

Like who runs a data center and doesn’t understand that thats the same?

Like who put you there?

Like all hail aws, but like why~

Lets first get some food, and then talk business

Also i just almost slammed my toilet door into the wall, bc i was getting used to the other door now having some resistance and coming back on her own:D

Thing about my mind is

I have completely forgotten about the hormones again and am thinking about mirror dragon scale shelfs

Whilst ignoring someone who wants to do something

Like i feel like i have been just alive too long

And my mind is already going

Oh whatever, next moment of living

Like i can’t tell if i have just given up

Reached some higher state of understanding

Or both

I think I’ll sleep a bit and forget the question~

A better clothing and general storage

Like future style

I want white glossy plastic

Thats doable, you can heat plastic and vacuum form it over everything

But like you should not use that oven to cock anything after that, bc its toxic

But like completely doable

But like i need to decide on a shape ~

Like there should be a reason it has that shape which is better than what you can already buy~

Like i am thinking about having like a flip table, bc u saw those flip holders to buy

But like i need aesthetically fitting storage

Like i would like something like dragon scales, so

Like i can make them move when i wanna get something

Like i think that would be cool, if your wall moves like dragon scales

Especially if they are individual mirrors

But like that would require good planning ~

Or a 3d printer and good planning

This, but opening the other way arround like dragon scales, shape of scales, and bigger

Like a basic flip box, but white plastic and cheap enough, so you can buy a whole wall of them

And like each min a4 size

This, but a wall of those would be too expensive

They are 7 per pce

Like i can retrofit mirrors and making them move

Bc i can go

Oh i am tripping af, my pulse seems high, should i be worried?

Oh, nah the data is normal

Okii^~^

Like thats great

Counting my steps while i am in bed, and measure my pulse~

So the watch is working

It says oxygen saturation is 97%

Heartrate between 70 and 100

I am underweight, like thats nothing new

But my rating gets better as a female quite a bit

I am happy with it, if it also takes random heartrate measurements, i am glad

Like i am dipping with zazikki

But like probably better just with regular flour

Humidifier off for like 2 days

And like before i was wondering if they are even working

I put them on again, like they make so much difference in air quality

I need to do something about the noise

Like its like a small laptop noise level, but like i unplug certain power cables, bc they make a slightly not even hearable noise ~

Like u already know living in a city, i am putting noise foam on my walls~

Like its also good for heating cost, bc its isolation

Flour while making bread

Like the dough was done but wet, so i used breadcrums to finish is

Rolled it into bread stocks, 2-3 cm wide, length of a sheet, added seasoned butter ontop and chilli, like raw chilli not flakes

Now i bake that, cant wait

Haven’t noticed

The tv replaced the fireplace in the home, as the center of attention

Like the whole room is usually arranged arround the tv/fireplace

Bc like thats where the heat is

That should help in decorating

Like i am replacing the fireplace with art, in this case a picture frame, and then i can like display a fireplace looking thing or something, like the backlit leds help:p

So i am mixing the fire with plants for contrast

Like thats a stupid idea with a fireplace bc its too hot, but like its the symbolism before that, of having a fire in nature

Like table in relation to tv is hard, but table in relation to fireplace, like its obvious where you put it and how you arrange it

Those greek stickys, like massive marble stone things holding up the building, those are trees, like ppl still put plants on them to this day~

So you are arranging with todays aesthetics but in the background you are arranging BC tribal

Bc we intuitively understand that environment deeply

If you young

And your parents walk in and cant close their doors

Heres a cheap solution

Like it makes it harder to open the door

But it solves it

€ 4,01 55%OFF | No punching automatic door closer closing sliding door wooden door home closers
https://a.aliexpress.com/_mKmq1zu

I should get affiliate links~

Watch is now loading and showed indicator

Like i put it on the normal 5v power brick, did nothing

But like on the laptop port its doing fine, probably only takes 3v and voltage protection if 5v

Also, i think i have figured out the shaving stone thing

Like its a everyday a bit thing

Where like u shave it down, and then just keep that up with this thing, which like doesnt require that much effort

Like its a tool for when your routines are stable

Like its not just social, like i am surrounded by fluff and plush, beeing shaved is quite great^~^, if you can keep it up

Like its only useful with the hormones, bc male hair are quite a lot thicker, so like~~

In the comments

Ppl are having tge same issue, but like loading or something it works, like it has no loading indicator light or something ~

Like i dont really care about the smart watch, i am looking for a heart rate sensor wich connects to wifi

Buying a cheap smartwatch is just easier than finding a hert rate sensor which connects to wifi~

Like if i can get it to turn on~

It will load for now

Like cheap chinese watch i might be able to easily jailbreak, and add to my custom script, like easier than Samsung or something

Stuff arrived

The hair removal thing

Like it actually works and my skin is quite smooth^~^

We’ll see about endurance

Leafe decorations look great on the tv, like it needs 1 of these old white picture frames, but then it looks great^~^

Laptop stand is okay, does stand, but it kinda slips in the lower positions bc my laptop is curved at the bottom front edge there, ill find a solution someday, but generally works, like i could just bend it a bit, but ill be careful for now~

The smart watch is confusing me, it says to push the function button for 3 sec, but i couldn’t find any button yet~

Ip camera i haven’t tested

Dremmel, eyebrow thing, and smoother, all need batteries, which i domt have rn

Door closer is a bit loud, but generally works, like it has quite some pull~

Its not that out of line, like they can do that and you have 10 days to bring it

Like the system is not adapted

Like 10 20 years ago, you could just not have that insurance, but now everyone is legally required to have it~

If i moved, i will try those food delivery things, like which send you ingredients, but you make them yourself

Like i looked at them and they were quite expensive back then, but now they actually reasonable

Like 30-50 a week for me

And i dont really have to go shopping, and get some variety

Like if i moved, i have no bigger upcoming costs, i am hopefully at 3 months rent in backlog and am slowly stacking to 6

Like i am not doing vacations, like what u mean i sit arround all day doing nothing

Like thats what i aim for in normal life

Like i wanna explore and do stuff, like lemme get lost in india for a month till i find back~

So like, i have no bigger expenses after moving

So like i let my food get delivered to me into my smart home

Like it fits well with not having a car

Like then i should have all systems comfy^^

Like i need to set things up, despite the trans disruptions

Like if i am not smoking, i need good food arround

Like i should enjoy globalism as long as we have it

Like ill still work on growing my own, decentralization and such, but its a good baseline

Like its not with arm, but it does its job

Still missing the Bluetooth keyboard tho~

Also like i found decoration

Luminous aquarium plants

Like those look so alien

Also i found a door opener for 20

Like its one of those push to open ones, but it should work the same

Take off the lock, push the door and it opens, else its closed by the automatic closer

Like idk if the opener and closer will conflict, but ill see

I have someone who has cowbells playing, like always and its making me mad

Like i would not say that to not be rude

Like its completely understandable bc its repetitive patterns and like that really first certain ppl

I am talking top down about ppl again~

1 sec

@override

Acidental expetion key, import frame sociology, science, top down systems view, validation appeal to authority, Artist, soc. sys. engineer

Like

Certain subjects experience a stability threw pattern repetition, by visual or auditory means, as such the subjective ego function is necessarily claiming such patterns in their selective persuit

As such the arbitrary case may be present in the processing differentiated ego perception of statistically unlikley subjects

In conclusion the reflective tendency of the ego, via the subconscious means is present as a validation of such, presenting a low level necessaty despite personal afflictions and affections.

Dissolve frame.

So like it makes me mad, but its completely understandable, so i should not complain to the person

Music is really subjective, i am sure some ppl dont like my music, sill i get to pick environments and repetition is not my particular case

So like, change nothing, but i will still complain in my diary about it~

Furry✈️irl from furry_irl

Alienated all the drug related ppl in my proximity

I don’t think thats such a bad thing

Like i should be social

But also last time was quite stressful afterwards

Like maybe after hormones ~

Like yes i am totally selfish brat

But also whats the hurry~

How much lsd i was actually taking?

I think with the hormones i can do a break

I just watched one of alex videos

And he was like

After all i am not doing this to get famous or something

Like it made me think

Like i dont think i am doing that, like i am not targeting that

Like i am a major brat

But i always was, like that high ego is nothing new, i had that before ppl actually knew i existed, ask my ex:p

Like no, i am so gone beyond the clouds, always was~

Like fame would be easy, you pretend to be a good person, buy some followers and fake it till you make it and end up with a bunch of kids following you and asking their parents for money

Like i think i will be a brat if i get the chance to but i dont think its actually something i am aiming for

Like i think i am sometimes quite manic and that is kinda confusing me in this regard

But i shouldnt claim confusion~

Like idk gimme the hormones already and we’ll see

Like i feel so bad for using my dads car all the time, like he also has better things to do

Besides economic costs

Like i could just take a train or something ~

Like i chose to unregister the car

Like i just wait 2 weeks for the hormones, like depending on therapist

Like i didnt say which, else i wouldnt have told that, that was his courtesy, thats why i even claused that, else i would just wait~

Like just give me the hormones and leave me alone already~

So i can sit and draw and do nothing

I basically got 2 layers in 1 contract,

First the crystals, which get payed by ppl

So thats basically a adress which is payed to, but the initial posting is also payed

And then comments which are connected by a factor to the first layer

Or actually, i can do that easier

I have 1 object which always refers back to the last object

Like how a blockchain works

Like i understand blockchain, but i dont understand it in the context i am using it in

Bc like its a bchain, but it runs on a bchain? But like i send messages and transactions, so why exactly do i see double?

Like i have conceptual issues with that~

Like i press button and itsends message and pays someone, got it, i can do that

But doesn’t that fractal in how i arranged that?

Oh no it does and I can visually see it, oh no

Sooo.. Press button, get message from input, send+money send

All in a div

And then i can contend with how it fractals in doing the actual layout and breaking my mind then~

Like it should be simple if i dont trip into some infinity~

I looked into a example of a sol bas3d shop

Made one, works fine, validates transactions and purchases

But like its type script

Like you have java, which is shit, so we made javascript, which is still shit, so we made type script, which is okai for now~

Like java stuff has its usecase, math

But thats not what you will see it used for

Its main purpose is to create jobs, which it is good at, but i dont wanna write in it

So like i need to figure out how to do transaction messages, which is not possible

But i have seen a workaround

Like i dont even wanna deploy this, that will be a huge pain, also its not web 3

Like it has blockchain, but its not web 3

Like it still needs a server to serve it

Thats web 2, but with blockchain instead of db

It has the same Single point of failure

And all that type script is also mostly web2 stuff

Like you can write your dating app like that, but not a pce of actual infrastructure

Like what i want is actually just the chain, so like ppl can build their own frontend however they like

But like idk how to do that yet, like solidity contracts are that, but like i cant write anything in eth, that would be stupid

Like ppl out here including half of react to display a button

Like i can do what i am looking for in solidity, but no one will ever use it, bc its eth

Btw me axing all that doesn’t mean anything, like i can do that all day long, and still be doing the same thing

Like it was just pretty decoration

Like i liked the sorting a lot

But like i would probably put most of it, on what i am building here anyways~

But like i need a way to build it

Actually i looked it up, i can write sol contracts,

So that solves my issue

Did my global posts go?

Like you were able to filter of you wanted posts of the entire federation or just your own cosmos

I am not gonna build bombs, i have limiters in place

Like its my diary, i am just tracking stuff i must watch

There are no real limits in what i can do

But like if i try to fix something,

I need to understand what it actually is i am fixing

Like getting hormones usually takes ppl like 3 years, i did it in 1

Like logically speaking my reaction is over the top, but like its also kinda expected to be like that

Bc thats like the reason i have my attention there in the first place ~

Like that should make things easier

So heres the plan

Either i send the card via postal

I wait till next next week, and get it with the hormone blockers

Like its a needle in my tummy, that will be fun ~

Like its actually good, like from a qualitative standpoint, the doc is good

I am just a massive brat about this stuff

Bc like if i weren’t, i wouldn’t be there for treatment in the first place

Like kinda obvious, with the leading theory beeing, yeah i am such a brat about it bc i am in pain, disphoria

I am just a bit of a special case bc i have quite some skills which i am not shy to use

Or i go there before, like i was thinking about taking the train, but my dad offered the car,

Like i should go there to give my therapist the card also

Like first plan was, going back the same day with the card and handling things, which i told him, but the car with the card was not there when i came back, so i just went to sleep ~

So like, i will ask my therapist how urgent that is

And either wait 2 weeks

Or do it in the near future manually

I get the moral argument

But also

You dont like me giving out info, bc someone might make a decision you didnt sign up on?

That seems infantalizing

Like they are too stupid, and the info will corrupt them, necessarily

So you as the brave hero need to limit their humanity and not allow them even getting all possible choices they have

Bc they will not act like you prefer?

Like giving ppl the info and letting them decide themselves seems more reasonable in my view, than limiting someones decision making before they even got all the info

On THEIR choice

Like you can argue it both ways

But like ppl will not trust ppl with their choices, so ppl will not tell them when they make that choice

Like prohibition is not a concept which ever worked with anything

However, i do not care to argue that, just as a footnote

Like i should fix that before i start building bombs, but within reasonable economic spending and social courtesy

Like thats just not outrageous to me anymore, thats Thursday

Like maybe that instability is just low social order ranking, bc no skills, lets add some

Nah, still unstable, but quite more dangerous now, cool

Like it was quite a mistery before i went

Lol transgender is pattern matching, didnt expect that

Like i just axed everything, thats definitely where i am burning all those resources ~

Like the reactions beeing bigger than necessary is something i noted before

Like seems reasonable i fix that~

Like i am sitting on my own website here

Bc like i would be banned everywhere else for doing stuff like telling ppl to kill themselves and giving clear instructions

Like i was banned everywhere else:p

Like i am getting censored everywhere else for doing what i do

Be a brat for like the next week~

I am just gonna look at memes and draw cute stuff

And like get weed or something

I am slowly integrating smoking again

I cant smoke a whole cigarette yet without feeling sick but i am getting there^~^

This stuff is nothing new

I am sure everyone remembers the last time a artist got really mad in Germany

Especially the polish:p

Like i got a massive structure to vent about stuff but

Like its not a new pattern ~

The mysticism, the loaded language, the ability to completely ignore morality

The appeal to globalism

Like they were nationalists, but the goal was globalism

Like seems familiar

That was not only a emotional snap back

, like that whole green energy save the planet stuff

Those were like 12 ppl who started that

Like most ppl dont do that much in their life ~

Like at that ratio of a planet to 12 ppl

Like 1 person not doing anything become a different game

I have kinda lost motivation to not smoke

I am inherently good natured

Like thats sounds great, but like you cant build weapons of mass destruction without feeling a tiny bit guilty ~

So like i am not doing that,

Like selling lsd is my grey market vacation job

Like the bigger something is the bigger a shadow it casts

And i am already getting lost in myself

Like i said, i panic if i see everything thats possible, bc stuffs scary~

So like lets survive the days till i get my hormones without smoking

If i get them i am happy

Idk if not, fate will rule

Like they have really lost their novelty ~

Welp, i will just build that loss into the substructure of society and let it break a new generation ^~^

And their kids, and their kids..

Lets hope i get them this time^~^

And can chill on my blanket and be girl without issues

Like i cant get anything which makes me happy, such a shame~

Like at least ppl can fix their social issues alone now while i watch with popcorn ^~^

Like if you are smart, ppl will demand you do stuff, bc you can, but i got a perfect out now to not do shit about shit

Like going by the data, iq is quite a good indicator of wealth, like better than familiar wealth

So at some point, i can probably just chill with the money and watch ppl fix their own stuff, although i easily could

Like you made it hard to get my hormones, fix your oppressive and corrupt Gouverment on your own

Like i take what makes me happy, but i also accept other ppls suffering for my amusement, if thats what they wanna trade

Like i am trying to be a good girl~

But the amount of compassion i put in is still being decided

Like i am not getting less skilled ~

But like what do i care~

Its non of my regard anymore ^~^

Ill make origami swans or something while i watch the world burn silly~

Like the worst thing for society, looking at smart ppl, is when they do nothing

Like there is a small portion of ppl doing a lot, so if they don’t do that much, like your falling apart culture is kinda in trouble

So like if ppl are bad to you, like just stop what you’re doing

And leave them be, they’ll figure it out in 500 more years~

Probably was my fault for forgetting the card, like i couldn’t get it bc the car wasn’t there

But like still rude as hell to tear it apart in front of my eyes

Like those pupils were to stable for amphetamines, and his hand too steady for a large dose, also wasnt sweating

Like i noticed that last time but had no reason to mention it

But like thats not normal brain function, especially the emotional perception

I would say not a opioid

Still like, all project are gone forever, someone else do it

Also no pressure on moving, things will fall as they do, what do i care

Considering not smoking, but ill smoke now then shower

But i lost all respect for doctors

Like the drugs in your pupils dont excuse behavior

I should really end that profession if i get the opportunity

Like they certainly don’t make as much as they used to, but i can frame it as such

Like becoming a doctor is not as useful as it was

No further comment

I feel better

I need to make sure to remember the name of that doctor

Still like u ppl not getting shit, i will avoid doing anything for this society and actively support anyone trying to destroy it

I hope your newborns bleed to death

And your crop rots

I promise

A bit and see if i get better

That all the doors you open in life close 1000 you didn’t take

Like possibility is deminishing with every concious second and decision

Most of your goals are simply fairy tales you will never see or reach bc they dont exist

They were exaturated to get you there but are not there in actuality

From kids, your job, or whatever new thing you just baught

You were sold and trained into a game from the beginning

And you will forever be stuck in it

Your faith never your own to begin with

And none of what you were promised you will ever see.

I strongly recommend to kill yourself if you have the opportunity and conviction

You will not miss anything

Your loved ones will care, but its not like you are experiencing it anyways, thats a fools argument

It was exactly where i suspected it to be

I was driving with my dads other car, bc my sis had this one

When going to the cryo ppl, it got lost between the seat

Like i suspected that since this morning

But like who cares

This morning this would have been exiting

I try to smoke another cigarette now

Lets get some alcohol tomorrow

It will take some time before i get used to them again

I took 3 drags threw it away and almost puked

I will have to train that in slowly again

Get excited about anything

The hormones will be as overrated as everything else

I get them as everything else, just another annoying burocratic thing, no one cares about

Like who cares about beeing a girl, i shouldn’t get exited anymore about anything

I will just get them, bc the course is good, and i dont want to be stuck wich these guys here forever

I’ll disassemble the rest of the website

Like i was exited the first time i wanted them, now it’s just another thing

I wont get to save the money bc ppl will ask for money soon, so i just get weed, dont do anything

Wait till i get the hormones, start smoking again after i get them

And pray that i die soon

Ill not do the meme videos, like who cares

Ill slowly take everything offline

And forget i was ever excited about this

Sleep and be high, like i originally planned

Like i am not gonna ask my dad for the car to get there anymore, ill take the train, and tey have to deal with whatever time i show up

Like i have lost interest

Like getting weed would have been useless if i was not smoking tabacco, but like if i am trying to kill myself, thats fine

Also, i can not do all those doc checkups i planned

Like i could have easily stop smoking rn

But i wont, i will deliberately smoke now to keep the habbit and kill myself more efficiently

Everything here was cleaned up, there is no card to be found here

Like i had it with the cryo ppl

I am just gonna sleep a bit

Shit

Do any of that

Its a joke, i am just mad

It was not meant seriously at all

It’s all artistic marketing

🙂

If i decide to go to india, i am gonna maybe play with the idea to drop the blueprints on how to build a nuclear weapon and some print files for guns first and then vanish, in a dream^~^

Like enriching uranium is not that hard, in theory ~

But like ill give it a week or so to think over^~^

Lets make some silly meme videos^~^

How emotionally disappointed am i

Like i wanted to go to india, look at the stars and not smuggle some gold

And not get some sasaphras oil

Salesfox is in the minus i am sure he has nothing better to do

But there is no hurry, ill think about it first

He ripped up the note to get it, in front of my eyes

So i rip up all my projects which could benefit the greater good

I’ll get the hormones later, like someone else build that stuff

Like i could also just had my card with me~

You ppl ain’t getting shit

I will do nothing but getting high, and looking at memes

I am sure you got your social stuff in order

All projects are canceled

Cya xoxo

I am home again, lets get some cigarettes and order some weed

They can’t get me the hormones without the card

Lets get some cigarettes and go home

They noted my appointment at 8 like on the paper they gave me but like

The actual appointment is at 11:30 so they anticipated me beeing late

Wrote 8, and put 11 in their system :p

Like good work

But like reception girl was confused

The system says 11:30 your paper we wrote says 8 and its 9

After that i will have to get to my therapist visit at 10, its 9,30 rn:p

And i forgot mycard~

A bit more sleep

Btw that stargate remake will be dope

Its one of these things i cant reffeerence

The best way i can describe it is, i can write things clearly and understandable

Its like its refferencing a infinity which is a o point

Like i am able to, but it doesn’t exist

There is nothing to speak of

Its like it never happened

But i remember it happened, but there is no proof of any sort

Like i wrote it before

Like nahnah, i am quite aware of the little confusing moments of beeing lost on the moment, like those are the actual living

And i am making sure i am actually properly in those

Like i am rewriting, i feel like

Like i am aware to a frightening level

🌑w🌑

So like i make sure I get a good story, else i panic bc its too much

I am nervous

Like i dk

Like i am around in the scary territory but i never got the beeing a scary person part

Like i hurt you while looking silly ~

Like my ex was holding my hand at the dentist ~

Like i am much little ~

Like i am around in those places, but like i put myself on a blanket, bc i understand, like i belong on the blanket

Like as long as someone pets me, i dont care about drugs or money

Like nono, i dont try to be in that territory, i just always somehow end up there~

Bc everything fun is illegal nowadays

Like all you can do is sit and play games

Drinking has everything heavily guarded and fenced off

Everything about cars is illegal

The dating market is heavily off balance

Jobs dont pay in relation bc inflation

Everyone is going where the weed at, bc thats still something to do

Children look shit with the housing market rn

Only good amount of young ppl to do anything is in the city’s

All shops are closing

So like i just end up there, but like

Me small fox, like since always, and like i think never claimed differently

Like i am a brat, but not big

Like there no insentives to do like anything

Besides getting high and or breaking laws

Like i feel like as a girl, beeing vulnerable is a lot easier and socially accepted

So like thats good, still scared and nervous ~

Like besides making and consuming art or media

Like its probably me, bc i really thrive on variety, like environments with diversity are great for me

I will try to sleep~

Like at some point the dentist girls just separated us

Like they realized quite quickly, like i can take some pain without much issue

But like, still want to hold pawb~

Should be on plan to give me 3 months of rent by my planned date

I bet it will be 1 months of rent

Just bc random ppl come and want money

I bet you 100% i will be stuck here forever

Like i am not moving rn, i am just chilling and working

Watch random ppl ask for hundrets

Like i bet you

Like when i move, i am just not gonna set up a mailbox

I have no one who should be sending me letters

Like no, i dont know u, let all the mail go back to sender

Its the next 3-4 months, i bet you, like multiple ppl

Like at that point i will seriously question why i am even working

Lets see if i still feel the need to destroy things by then ^~^

Maybe i just go get the money insted of complaining

We’ll see^~^ quite curious

Like u know these carpet cleaning things, like the wood hitting things

I should just get one of those and hit everyone coming close to my door with any mail

Like f a dog, get a tiger and a auto aimed paintball gun

Like maybe those dont work so well together ~

Like ill get 1 of those landmine signs

I hope i saved the image

Like i did that video standing in that minefield in my fursuit while traveling

Which channel did i post that on? ~

Looking at the actual studies, assuming their integrity

Most ppl going into this trans stuff are quite happy how things go

Like a lot of those doing nothing just die

Like idk they somehow have a high mortality rate

So by the numbers alone i should be on the right path, but like, i believe it when i see it

Like the alternative to the transgender stuff is just a lot of kids randomly dying

Like idk they do that for some reason

Like u put a person in pain, like at some point they just gonna kill themselves

Like its not that surprising ~

Like idk its not really news, seems obvious

First finish my first project

Which is bejond.acid

Bc if that is done, i cam put the other projects on there

Put what i have therexand let ppl build out social security, or whatever they prefer

Even if i get distracted again

Is regrowing, and i can smell

Blockchain health insurance

Like most of these insurances are putting money back for later

We don’t need a big company asking fees for that

Like Germany has a lot state added, but also you are forced to have it

Like we shouldnt erase all of it

But i think we can do away with a big part

I need to write a core insurance chain

I have been there

Idk how, and idk where

But that place exists

I was in the unfeasible

Like i think back and i could not tell you where and when

But i will swear on my life it exists

Like iwas in that place, but it somehow doesn’t exist

Like you could never convince me of business as usual

Bc i was standing in it

Terra incognita

Like i have multiple memories of things related to it

But as soon as i try to describe any, language becomes sand

Its the weirdest thing, a place too odd to even to exist in a dream

But somehow the true source of whats feasible

And tomorrow ill forget it for the next 10 years again, without a trace of its existence

Like its not a idea, it’s a place i was standing in

A free space in the hedge maze of reality

Without drugs

Like the next best thing is sex and good food

Sex is meh without drugs

Good food/ingredients are hard to get

Everything is expensive rn

Also like i kill my sex drive soon

The best thing i could do is drawing, reading or writing

Like i hope i never retire, sounds sisyphean

I am quite curious what moody means for me

I am in general already quite a cunt

So cigarette moody and hormones will be the same day, that will be interesting^~^

Detransitionig

But thats usually bc ppl run temporarily out of money

Like its really unhealthy bc it shreds your hormonal system

Like most ppl either vibe or dont vibe

Like i am not sure if transgender, or just my general delusion and foreward inertia

Like thats a common symptom, like that doubt is know

About the hormone thing

Bc normal guys will not like those

If i get them and tey dont okai

Then thats quite a clear

No thats not working

Its working, but i need a Bluetooth keyboard

Like the cables are odd

And like put it with a picture frame on the wall

Like i wired it up to the smart home laptop, bc i can run media on that

But like its missing the vibe it should have

Like it works, but is still clumsy ~

My oxygen and blood pressure should be normal again

Tomorrow taste and smell should have recovered quite a bit

The day after, there should be no nicotine left in my body, so i might be a bit moody bc of the withdrawal ~

Happy Lunar new year! 🎉🐇 from babyfurs

Told me whatever i was doing last time, it was working, the statistics were great

But i have no clue what i did:p

Its certainly a good sign^~^

I just did my burocracy

Like not smoking, things suddenly get really easy and thats exactly the issue

Like what am i gonna do with all this time~

The apartment will soon be spottless again, what then~

Like shit without smoking

furry_irl from furry_irl

Getting better, like a bit not that noticable, but doing something

Like from n smoking

Now i am tripped up if the money will be enaugh this month for the tax ppl,

Like it should by all means

But i am ichy bc it happened before

I have so much time again ~

Colors are slowly adjusting from greyed out to normal again

Oh, and eating is also in that cluster, bc smokers, smoke after eating ~

So i need to digest normally, without amplifier ~

And like if you also smoking weed, like the weed pattern will reignite the tabacco too

When does smell come back? Like 2 days or something, and taste 5? Idk something like that ~

I think 2-4 days was also where oxygen comes back into your bloodstream

Market is slowly getting saturated

Nah, thats the same person ~

There are discord and telegram channels to sell in too

Hoting from Unexpected

furry_irl from furry_irl

Chill a bit

Find a girl who wants to travel

Have some kids

Idk then ill slowly die watching vr porn or something

Nono, did no one read finigans wake

Thinking is quite mercurial

Linear time progressed by comic strips is fiction

You can hold quite contradicting ideals and thinking patterns in the same psyche

Tabacco plate

Like i have trays to roll on, but i was just using a plate, to keep tabacco from getting everywhere

Emptied out the ashtray

Put away the filters, like they are red, they are made to trigger impuls

So like, i need to make sure my teeth a properly brushed, my hand are washed and i shower

Clean everything where any tabacco could be laying arround

Eat the pizza i am making

And make sure everything smells good and is cleaned up

Bc like i am quite sensitive to smell when i dont smoke

Like the final nail on the cross will be moving, bc patterns are bound to environment

Did i mention that getting a apartment is far easier if you dont smoke

Like there are co addiction triggers

Like if you smoke and drink energys

And you dont smoke, but drink a energy, you wanna smoke

Same with driving, like when u smoke while driving, you will wanna smoke when driving

Like its not 1 addiction, its a array cluster of triggers

Like i smoked inside for some time

But currently the 2 main rooms i dont smoke in, and like the entry, i open the door and smoke, just bc its snowing outside and its cold

So like i need to air that out, put some in scents there

Like hose horrible smoking sticks

To bind all bad spirits

And i should have achieved everything i wanted

Pleasantly ^~^

Then i declare insanity

And see what i do from there^~^

I am taking a break

Make a song where i double time sumerian

Foolish again

Thats a good place to be

I didnt speak something when i had the oppertunity to, i will just assume understanding

Decentralized graveyard thing

That would pull the banks unconscious drive which they are selling on, and quite some other systems

Like you shouldnt target that with that moral range, but it would certainly be a side effect

So like lets first setup the remaining infrastructure ~

This seems purposeful, i am slowly emptying out my stashes of tabacco

Like usually you would be happy if you find some

But like i am emptying the cash registers before i quit

So like, i know there is none left, and that search impuls has no use

Like i am using the search impuls to actually empty them out bc i will dig for tabacco if i know i am allowed but dont have

Like its the most effective way to do it, and then if i know there is no tabacco to be found, i just arrange with that existence

Bc like i know there is none left, and i dont need to search, i am not allowed to buy,

Like that search impuls is actually the main spirit

That is not taking credit cards for validation

, its Sunday and no store is open

I dont think my stepmum is even home

So i need the actual bank card not the credit card

Like i haven’t seen that in ages

Wait, i was send a new card by some account, like i should have at least 2 valid cards in theory

Like i feel like i am doing this on purpose, like letting myself run out of cigarettes

Like to get a taste or something

Thy

I found my card, lets see if it works

Ppl will just follow anything

My gender is not really confusing me, as is the metaphysical paradoxicallity of existence, which is, i am, confused about.

so actually yes i am confused about my gender, but not in a way where i would let thy feathered key for good behavior sticking in thy rusted cultural ignition, till I get what i came for

Which is thy journey itself

Thy.

Marveling at the European first born son ethos

Like it was fun

I am curious for the next chapter

I actually have a product i have to set

Like the pricing dynamics based one

Like i will just serialize and increase by 10000 a year

Like that will not sell, but i still want it for me as a price meter

Yeah, thats actually exactly what it is

I am relaying my pricing into a product

Wait am i trying to sell a concept?

Thank god we live in the age we do

But like its my personal refferencing point

So like i should put that in

And also at the same time sell it to others, somehow

How is that Egyptian pointed stick thingy, like long massiv stone pillar with a pointed tip and sharp edges

Like they had that outside

Like was that a obelisk, or was it the representation or something

Like ill call it that

Like i have seen my card yesterday, i cant seem to find it~

This feeling where you take acid and you feel like you just got up, were snowed in and snow is flying from your fur as you get up again

Like this feeling of shaking powdered snow out of your fur mixed with electricity

Love that

China has destroyed the western class system by cheap fabric

Holy, those nation level punsDd

Like where is that dipole actually moving rn

Like the communism capitalism dualism, but on its side, as a dipole

Adjusted by time, visualized as contrarian vortexes

Like i need to get myself a map or something ~

And some cigarettes ~

What have you done

And not randomly selling lsd, but like ill see after i move

Like i would just need to make some art

Like i am a artist, my eternal gas fees are 1 art per powder snow galaxy.

Like i wish i was selling drugs

Like tomorrow will be yesterday

My kinda madness is chronic :p

Like i hope it gets better for my sake

Like i think i awoke from a dream where i slept with finest feathers

I like that

Something really important today

The contact field is actually the most important one on a website, especially mine, which leads nowhere like the accounts are registered with the hoster, but they dont lead to any mail reader

Like i am getting to a point where i should probably actually have a way for ppl to contact me

Like i have no socials ppl could reach me by~

Like is discord still furry territory? Or ar they slowly dying yet

Like i would like something like mastadon, but i have to set up a server, actually like lemme use fedi for com

Like what i am saying

Connection is the focus in a node network

So the connection field is actually quite important

*steps over cables*

Bc it allows ppl to talk to you

But obviously quality is also important

Like if you can get it decentralized and open source, thats great

I will be using fedi, mainly for that, and it beeing businesses and coders just chilling, not much public attention

Like i need to be save, but i will still put my business under a linguistic paradox, just in case

The same way, i dont need to go that backhand with com, but i will still do just in case~

Like it has the chill vibe i prefer, like Twitter is hyper, i dont want ppl contacting me there for anything regarding money

Actually, lets invest a token of faith

Heres my Twitter

Like maybe he can actually make it something cool

Like tokenize the ui on the screen

Like twitter is quick short news like notifications, but no one reads those anymore bc they so crouded

So like a ui seamlessly integrating over other apps, so like i have twitter on active standby while i do something on fedi

Like call it twitter feathers and ppl will get it

Like there are certainly cool possibilities

Like i see permission issues with android, but i am sure there is some way

However, ill be setting up fedi again

Nono, the church put that in and marketet that

We can do the same again for blockchain, and actually distribute it as a public service

Like

Actually lemme sleep a bit and then ask my stepmum if she has a card, or like i actually find mine

We should be perfectly able to reframe death, as the church did for this new industrial revolution

I have come to terms with not getting cigarettes

Like i will smoke the rest of my tabacco, and then, like i guess just draw a bit

And like isnt it funny to see that contrast in context

None of the cards are working

Like i want cigarettes like i am still allowed

Like i am looking for my card, bc you need to verify you are 18, was like that since i was under 18, but i still am not a cigarette smoker

Like i got 3 cards, lets see if 1 of those validates

Like those are all long dead accounts and idk how credit cards count for that cigarette thing, if they work to validate your 18

Btw girls i hate your social rules bc they make perfect sense

They are completely reasonable and i understand their purpose

Like if i didnt know i was transgender, that would be a revelation or confusion

But i now understand why that appeal to authority, i have been using on ppl is so effective

Like holy what tools have i been wielding on ppl~

Like nah i didnt care about the structure, made no sense

But like as a girl, i hate to admit it, but like i get it

I will still ignore it

I set my table up with a 5eur note

Like unconscious

Like i knew i would run out of tabacco or something bc these all have different routines of spending

Like the papes, the tips etc those are all subroutines

And they are asynchronous, like by design probably, like no question actually really

So like i knew i would probably just buy cigarettes anyways and like to break my spending patterns

And i put myself 5 on the table thinking in my naive childish wholesome thinking

Holy cigarettes

5 would be enaugh for cigarettes

Like i have the association to the note and it makes me feel really old

Like a have been smoking tabacco, always, bc i was always high, like cigarettes mix so oddly with weed, too much sugar

I was just gonna comment on how cute i was thinking 5 would be sufficient

Like i was thinking of myself, and beeing nice to myself

Oh yeah i remember thats how you actually get shit sorted in your life

Like its just beeing nice to yourself

Like treat yourself as a person you really care for

But like in practice, i am not talking vague ideology, like practically beeing nice to yourself

Like you will see things come arround again to yourself later

Like literally like with the 5 i put for cigarettes, like be literally nice to yourself in action

Like u know yourself, so no games

Now thats a provoking edge

Like u know yourself, so no games

Like i was thinking what if i actually embrace family history

I might have found a good use for nfts

A public blockchain graveyard

Like it makes perfect sense

Bc transactions are validated by the whole network

So if someone died, and lets say you wanna add a block to memorialize them

thats actually a great metaphor of it beeing accepted by the whole

As you display the node validations increasing

Like it costs us nothing to keep it up, however that works, like someone please explain that to me please i dont understand

Like no one thaught about it bc no one is making money from it

But like i think that could actually have some real value to ppl if done right

Like it still needs a good name which doesnt have the grim imagistic language associated with it

Like someone dying is 1 thing, but thats a vibe

Like lets actually help ppl with what we understand now

Like whatever that is, i havent researched that

Like u see why its so important that i speak whatever is on my mind

Bc in those topics, such information is quite critical to make apartment where i may be lacking

Bc the value of what i have may be far greater than what i can make,

but its crucial to have it proposed in this form exactly for that reason

Like that works with the usual blockchain marketing and it works global

Its a great idea

We just need to make it

I could probably make some really interesting logical reasonings on a grand scale

But i had 1 moment

Where i was making music and i felt genuine emotion

Like thats something i am capable of, i was moved

Like if the hormones do exactly that

Like yes that actually sounds like what i am looking for

And i have seen ppl go with that psychedelic undertone, yes its that

Like you are using subconscious signaling, you beeing able to do that, means that you are probably smart enaugh to understand what your doing

And you have tested it

Like psychedelic signaling is really hard to misinterpret, but also, whait you assumed my question before i posed it

Psychedelic means, you are the environment

You are not moving in a environment, you are the environment

Like this weirdly goes over how reality works

Like i hope it is, bc i could make some great art

Like i will miss smoking so much

Like girls see me rolling joints and they know

Like guys are often not that perceptive on small things, but like girls will see that,

like i had someone comment on it out loud, but keeping it in the linguistics deepspace obviously

Like for girls thats the you know but you dont say thing

Like refferencing to the general understanding

I was actually doing interesting things

Before i got lost in this small town mindset again

Like i need to move

Sell some lsd

Like yeah, i have actually been setting myself on a good path, i am happy

Like i want to be stable and selling lsd

And i am a absurd creature

This looks good

Btw someone better save my stuff, bc i am deleting old images to have enaugh space to post new ones

Like that will be really cool with the smart home stuff

Like the kitchen is chaos rn, like its clean, but chaos

Like i cant have anything icky arround with the wound

Like i have a bad habit of forgetting the sink, bc its in the corner of the room

Like good design decisions will make and break a room

But like things are standard clean

Like there was something about iq and disgusting sensitivity beeing related

What i am saying is

I made 1 room really pretty and now the other looks bad~

Like its fine by my standards

Did i mention, now that i think about it, i have been wondering about my reflexes previously

Like i have wondered about that without a frame of sorts

Years ago

And connecting that to that study now, of iq beeing related down to reflexes

Like i wondered about it years ago, randomly, and like i had the explanation, but didnt realize

Like i have gotten so big over the years, as a linguistic reference point

Its self refferencing my internal space, thats why its confusing

I would mark it but i have no picture space, like i need to delete some products

At something ppl get really hurt

Like i was probably not even thinking about it and just had a spontaneous reaction

Like if i declare something bad, i might be speaking with thousands of years of weight and the understanding of multiple traditions

And everyone in the room probably knows it

So like i need to be good to ppl, or i might really do some damage

Like there are ppl who are known or respected

But often times them beeing known is quite closely associated with them making money

Like if i were to sell courses on how to do stuff

Actually, i should write that book

Like its some sort of public persona for the purpose of selling something

Like idk i am just bad at selling or something ~

I just decided to do a public diary, and attach whatever i am currently doing to that

Bc at the end i could never pretend to be something else

And i think anything else but the full mess life is would be not doing it justice

So me beeing that person and declaring something bad, has more weight than i can probably comprehend

So like i hope the hormones set that right

Like i am kinda running out of options

Bc i am turning arround with the scales carrying this culture, like artist do

Like thats what this shamanic tradition furry stuff really means

We are the people other people actually follow around just bc we are the full extent of what we are

Like we made it a token gesture of getting famous and getting followers, but what we actually mean to figure out is the ppl with the natural gravity

Like i am hiding in the category of artist, and its already the widest definition i could find

Like as a kid i was crying a lot and there was a phrase i used repeatedly

Why me

Like i understood the full extent of what my existence means from the beginning

But i guess the pain differentiates from beeing dead

Like i still hope i am mistaken, like i cant seem to flee my fate

Like i tried and i am

Like i have read the least known books, and still, all i seem to find is more certainty in what i dont want to believe

That everyone is infinitely complex

And that somehow among those idk i am somet.. Ing

Like for some reason that personality trade is quite noticeable and ppl follow it arround

Like it will manifest in everything your doing

Peterson described it as

Creative ppl are like fruit trees bearing fruit,

they cant help it

Like for some reason we are the ppl who carry such scales of brilliance with such low hanging heads

Like ppl will follow you, and you better make sure that you have good things for them

Bc you seem to have answers

Like draw a pretty picture giving hope

Like doesnt have to be good

Just make it honest

At this point, i carry some weight, bc ppl know the website exists,

And like even without that

Like ppl respect me to a certain degree

Like if i hit them with something like ppl are so devistated

Like i am so happy i am fixing the trans stuff, bc if i keep beeing like this, like all i am gonna see is ppl beeing down

Like my actions are amplifyed by my public aura

Like i hope this works, bc i am hitting with quite some weight already

Like its not made better by my ability to actually formulate whats not spoken

Like my skills will only increase, me beeing publicly know also

Like i am actually sacred about it, bc like this better work

Like i am treating it like a checklist item

But like i am terrified

Like i have a bad history with not trusting what i want~

So like if this works, like there is hope

Else like, stack drugs till i die

Like if i can do everything, but only end up hurting ppl, like whats the point

Of beeing able to do everything

Shouldn’t you treat everyone equally?

Like thats what was impregnated into us in the western democracies

Its called egalitarianism if i am not mistaken

Like yes everyone should be treated decently and civilized on a base level

But like obviously ppl are different

Like there would be no use in any conversation if everyone was the same

Like if you a experienced tennis player, like you can play with beginners, but obviously that person will not be equal in terms of skill

Like hierarchys of value exist

Like its very clear in decision making

Like if you are building a app for instance

Like you can go, oh i am like everyone i dont have to care ppl will be happy whatever happens, who knows

But like maybe you should make a executive decision and put things in a way where ppl dont have to use kyc

Bc you are not the standard user, you are making the thing

And with technology, you may be influencing quite a large amount of ppl with that decision

So like, not claiming that, when you should is actually more dangerous in my view

Like i am avoiding these responsibilities, but also i have to make decisions

Like if you go, i am just doing stuff, no one will use i anyways, and someone does,

Then you in trouble

Bc you underestimated the tool you made

And with blockchain, like you cant reverse your decisions or take it offline, if it exists, it exists

So like yes, ppl are the same, but lifes are vastly different

And like thats not a obvious border globally

Bc we living in a globalized world now, if you like it or not

Like what separates is language, but that will adjust

Wound is now healed enaugh so i can use wound creme

With it is that like

It shouldn’t overshoot like that

Like the reaction itself was good

But i shouldn’t have to be such a brat about it

Like something is not calibrated right there

And i think thats actually where i am burning all those recourses

Bc the reaction is unprofessional to what is actually happening

Like putting my paw on their head and pushing them down a bit should be enaugh, i dont need to have my claws all up in them

Like all those ppl teaching business by lifestyle on social media

Like they are not wrong, your business will inevitably be a mercurial mirror of you, if you are unstable your business is probably too

Bc like your business is probably you with small businesses

So thats a good idea to fix that

But like i am certainly not lacking in personality,

Like i need to fix that transgender stuff, or i will be constantly tripping over myself

Like you can do a lot of things quite inefficiently, but my projects tend to be quite ambitious in general

Bc what u doing needs to justify the pain of living

So like i need to fix that, then i can do stuff

I pulled half of it out into xmr, now i wait for it to fall again, and then i put it in again, and hope for it to go up

So like pulling my profits out and a bit extra

If btc goes down, made my profit, if goes up, also good

If i throw in and get lucky again i can give my dad some gas money

Like it would be fine but gas is expensive, and he has been lending me the car for going to the trans docs, bc they far away and like you would have to like take a bus, and probably change trains and stuff~

Like its not like i worked for that money~

If i get randomly lucky i would like to repay kindness, like even if i dont have to

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxEmyjX6-69WdTBAzYer7jq1h0fuOwB3x1

Guy was looking at my numbers

Like i told what i am doing with the smart home stuff

Like nah, i am probably not bragging i am waiting for ppl to suggest something cool i can do

Like my financial status is quite public, bragging will just fall back onto my head right away

Like i feel like its ppl looking at your numbers instead of what you are actually doing

Like i have seen someone who told how much they are in debt, lie business related but quite a bit, like that number may be important bc the person has that emotional weight on them

But like it tells me nothing about the person

Also i am thinking about the bidet, i want it for 3 reasons

Futuristic

Saves on tp

Female bodys are really particular about how you wipe and stuff, so lemme just comment that out, use the water thing, and hopefully go arround that issue in a bit step

A watchdog on speed

Like thats what i mean

I will hit ppl with stuff and then act like nothing happened with my 15 sec goldfish memory

Like i have already moved on

Like thats clearly a behavior pattern from my mum, like that smells so bipolar

Like i am so curious if the hormones work as i think they do, and they reslove that

Like thats a childhood pattern they are quite clingy, and if you Remove them manually, you are breaking all patterns building on it

So i cant remove that myself, i am quite curious if that does the trick

Like making yourself bigger is 1 thing, but i am more interested in priming my target, so i can hit them with a good contience if they overstep what was warned

Like i would like to feel good while i do it~

Like the neurotic element with speed is really annoying, bc you always think your right

Like its great, but not what i am aiming for~

Hitting ppl with stuff is great fun, but like i decided on something else

Bigger city’s bring

Like thank you i dont have to care about my neighbor

Like social stuff is cool

But like also i dont care

Like i will not care more bc i have to pretend bc of some social reason,

I go somewhere, where it doesn’t matter

If i dont like u i move on and dont have to worry about running into you tomorrow somewhere else

Like ppl get hard on, oh ppl meet again so things have to be dealt with

And social community

Like no, dont care

Like i will pretend a bit till i am gone

Like i care bout family, but like i go choose my own community

Like nah thats not getting better, i am just not interested, like i see how social stuff works, and will not make things too hard for myself

But like i know where I dont have to, so i obviously go there

Like maybe i am a great person there

But i am not forced to by social rule of small social node number and therefore higher transaction costs

Like i think ppl are happy with me gone, and same for me

But like i ignore that till i can move with the buffer i need

Like its not a moral or liking thing

Some things just fit certain environments

Like every time i am in a bigger city, its like

Yeah, that works

I dont even need to tell ppl to get lost, bc ppl already know their place

Enaugh ppl have already hit them on their paws for doing that

Like thats probably not for everyone, but like i like that

Like sometimes i care, but probably by default i don’t

Like i am polite, but like maybe the hormones do something bout that, but i dont think they make me more stupid

Like beeing nice is something stupid ppl do to hedge their bets and redistribute recourses, like i have a study for that somewhere ~

So like i can survive quite well not doing that

But its more pleasant for me to live in, and till i am not working anywhere anymore, i dont

So like ultimately i will not be bound by that in the same way

Like,, don’t feed me speed, i formulate like a bich and make only half sense bc the appeal to emotion is missing, that stuff makes me so neurotic

Like i am not wrong, but also its not right

Like all my historical references are missing too~

Like i would have just roundhouse kicked a person out of my social circle for feeding me speed a year ago, but i am polite bc i am in the middle of no where and there are like 5 ppl arround

Like i am aware of my surroundings

So like i move when i am ready, but like not staying bc i am a rude brat and i will light ppl on fire if they bring me patterns i dont like or care for

But i keep my paws down and am nice, and see what happens, who knows, i dont

Maybe i move and someone really fits another person for business, so keep contact

Like obviously i take the drug if offered, like person is beeing nice, but also feeding ppl with speed bc of clear social intent

Like i see such stuff, but like, 5 ppl, no where, bored, what else u gonna do, lets see what happens

Like its not like i have better things to do than putting my paws in mousetraps for fun

Like i am not really a mouse

Like i was asked if they can come by randomly

I told them i will eat you if you dont text me first

Like social borders ppl please

Like if someone, like not fam or like neighbors, but like ppl i know come by without informing me first, like i will hit you with a shovel for overstepping a social boundary

Like no you dont just walk into a person’s social boundary who was involved in something illegal

You will be crucified if you try to invite yourself and hanged if you do

You wait till your invited or are ready to fight for it, if you’re not just ignored

God that speed really has this, old guy screaming at cloud vibe~

Like i will hold the entirety of your shady unconscious patterns against you if you get that close with pattern setting tools

From the insecuritys to the fears you didnt knew you had bc you suppressed them

Bc either thats shady or your handling tools you dont understand on other ppl

In which both cases i need to draw border lines

Like it may be a new idea to you, but using speed to make ppl do stuff is not a new concept

Like there may be good reasons

I will still hit you with divine weapons if you get too close to me with that

Btw u forgot your cigarette filters, u want those?

Btw that guy has the website

Like hi, yes i will write about stuff without caring :p

Like its my diary, i write whatever i think

Finally i can sleep

Like enaugh social for now

Like i just fell asleep there

Like i will sleep wherever if i am tired

Like thats the 1 skill I got from school, the ability to sleep everywhere

Like my social, i need to entertain and balance that insecurity is quite low

Like u be high and just chilling with ppl without saying something, really helps that

Bc like u know it doesn’t matter like that you have seen it done before

Like i am quite happy the car is gone

Like person was talking about like how they dont take anything bc of how its visible on drug tests

Like thats just not a worry i have anymore

I dont have a car or am driving ~

I like that

Also someone asked about dropping by and if I could get them

Like i dont have a car, i cant, and i am quite happy sitting there not moving

Like its not about the actual decision, but not even having to think about it

And after ppl know, they will also not ask

Like u are guys, freedom, driving, self sufficiency

I am girl, like girls can do that too, but its also a lot easier to just sit on beeing driven arround

Like its just socially more acceptable

Like i wanna move somewhere i can walk places, i work from home

Like having a car is not that big of a thing where i maneuvered myself

Like where u even gonna park a car in a bigger city

Like my timing with things is a bit scattered and offset, but like i know were i wana go

So i go there

Like staying here would be absurd, bc i have already adjusted things, removed the car, etc

Like theres no question, just time

I forgot i had btc laying arround

Like guy was complaining it went up, and he didn’t buy, so i checked my wallets:p

I need to exchange that to xmr when i get home

Guy was making multiple

I am looking for this kinda girl

Who i can do x with

Comparing it to the current situation without speaking it

Like no, u have a bigger project already running to get my interest

Like girls usually date, the same level or above

So like in comparison to what i am doing

Like i think i like guys, the thing is my standards are measured by me as a reference point

Also like i talked to your ex when you were together and i know why she broke up

And i am probably more picky/bratty~

53°22’01.0″N 5°13’27.0"E from Unexpected

I ended up in a room with someone showing me what girls to hire they wrote on WhatsApp,

Which existence I forgot about

Is it bad that all i am thinking about is how

Bad their product images are

And how they could increase sales and brand value

Like i dont wanna make those girls mad at me, but off all places, I didn’t expect good images on wa tbh

Like what works works i guess

Like i think that it’s WhatsApp which is irritating me more than the sex they selling

Like i should, bc theyare probably closer for sex, but also its WhatsApp, lemme buy sex somewhere else and like go there

Like i should buy some before the hormones, but also i lazy~

Offered to have some random money thrown at me to invest it for that person

I think i can do that

I told someone to make a folder called business

And make files called ideas and goals

And like its abstract to see them use it

Like i am just doing stuff and do things automatically

Like if i would make those lists, i would have a better idea 10 min later

But like its interesting to see how such a small impuls really sticks with ppl

Like it really is interesting that like, the patterns i make really grow with ppl how not constantly change theirs like i do

Asked me if i wanna come by

But like i would have to chill till the morning

I need to move somewhere where i can walk places~

Like that totally eats my sleeping rythm ~

But like i should be social

I will probably go, its tge last weekend where i can smoke cigarettes ~

Into a tv mount

And like they want 60 for like 1 with a arm

So like i googled if anyone had a good method to make one

But all i found was ppl explaining how to mount a tv on a wall, like i can do that, it has screw holes, you screw it in, and it hangs:p

So like either i buy one eventually

Or i make one

Like i still have hinges from when i was barricading my door

But i dont know if they are too heavy

If i say hinges, i mean these things you use to hold the beams if you are building a house, with these massive screws you use in building a house for concrete

With a steel beam between them

Like if the police happens to knock on my door, like it has the same integrity as the house itself,

If they try to ram it, the wall will probably give in before my barricade does

So like i can look in peace if there is anything bad laying arround, make some coffee, and talk to them about sending 1 of their guys to get cake

Like that sounded like stress, and i was always quite high, so like just taking the urgency out

Like they are always nice to me, i can at least offer coffee

Like i dont drink coffee, but like i had some to offer back then

Like they have their foot in the door before you can look, then they get a locksmith, then they ram, so like theres time

Like theres no worry if i dont hear a helicopter ~

But like i am not doing anything that illegal, so i dont need it anymore

Like i think ppl know by now i like acid~

Like it may be good for a tv mount, or its just too heavy ~

https://youtube.com/shorts/51W9sC3FDvk?feature=share

Can i also say

That somewhere in the middle ages girls realized, they could pay a musician to write song, which represent males as they wanted their partners to be

To get their partners to be that

Like this music game has been going on forever by both sides

Really write a book at some point, just to try it

Like doesn’t have to be long

Like i know how

Also i have the tools

Like there is a cli programm, which name i dont remember rn

But like Stephen king, or one of those ppl is using that too

Like its great, its not a text editor, its a text formater

Gimme a sec

Its word grider

Like the ui is quite interesting

Like there are also programs which let you order things by chapters and do like bigger picture stuff, add a character background in a tab etc

Idk if those are running on dos tho, like wg was probably written before i was born

https://youtu.be/1ELLhETCcGU

The morning routine collapsed again

Just bc its so hard to wash your face with 1 hand

Btw, in my econ, i also had padding margins everywhere

Like if i have a food bugedet of lets say 100 a week, then that will be overloaded by 10-15%

Meaning there are always 115 in that budget when full

So like even if you are out of budget, you still have some wiggle room

Like i should be stable af, me not beeing is really odd lets see if the hormones fix that

Like its not a top layer issue, the top layer is better than most

Btw the not smoking weed, its not like i cant

Like i walk 2 steps outside my door and see something which gets me high

Like i did that,

Like i had a job beeing trained as a manager in some warehouse, and like on the smoke breaks, i went outside the back, and there were sedatives growing

So in my breaks, i went out smoked, munched some sedatives and went back

Like its really hard to keep me clean if i dont want it:p

Like thats not a drug thats on any drug test anyways~

Like i am sure i could make some money there doing a extractiom with some napta or something

Like just separating out the organic phase and recristalizing the compound

But like theoretically i could but its not fitting the ohase of chilling and stacking money~

I need those random budgets i can spend on things

When companies (e.g Banks) ask for the 1st, 4th and 8th character of your password, doesn’t this mean the password is stored in plain text? from AskProgramming

So after that big bill for the cryo is payed

My only running expense should be food

Smoking is gone, car is gone

Like im the crypto system i was giving myself 100 a week to spend

50 of that was fuel alone

So like i bout doubled my spending power/ freed my budget there

The budget for the fiat account is smaller, bc i have quit all those contracts

So all in all, the money i make should actually stay in my pocket

If i have everything setup, i have a full smart home, with the ability to make musik or art, or code

So after that last big fee, i should have no bigger events or payments coming up untill i move

I should at some point get my insurance money to padd me from major events, and a reverse etf, and crypto, to insure me of a full economic collapse,

So i need to put in a cashflow business and things should be looking quite stable

I should have financial wiggle room, a supportive environment, plans for economic instability, whatever the market does, and the resources to create

From there i can slowly build up

And move into my new life

Like if i survive this month, things dont look that bad

Like kinda boring tbh, but also quite stable

Like i think i can manage till i move, like at least i hope

Like at some point i need to put in my budget plan again, like i had a budget for everything by category, like i had planned a budget for socks in cycles~

Like i may get a bit bored

Like i feel like i am missing that middle layer, like just random 10k somewhere just in case

But i think that will come in time with the cashflow, like i should retain that value quite well

Like at half a year of living costs covered, i feel fine and like am not really worrying about anything

Like currently i am navigating to 3 months, so if i manage that, i actually got a good starting point,

Which just gets fed by my budget plan

Which distributes it into living costs, and recources, investment stuff, allocated budgets, meaning

2 x 100 budget, 3x 25 budget etc, just giving me random pots of money to spend on projects or things i want, which get filled up again automatically

Like i said, i had all those patterns set up before ~

Like its the hell of not smoking weed and working, where you do all this useless boring stuff, which trades actually living for security

So like lets hope that works, so i can do that till i am good and helplessly bored, and then move to something else

I need to meditate and trip out on that or something to kill time or something

Like u know how in the witcher the guy is not actually sleeping, but just meditating to kill time and fast forward the game? Yeah

Like i should also start some sort of mystery sex cult or something to kill time

Like usually u only see ppl presenting their new ideology and are not reading their diary, seeing they are fully aware of what they are doing and get how stupid the reasons actually are

Like i like that kind of meta humor, it amuses me, but like idk observation

But like i am still weary of something eating me quite a bit ~

Is quite closed on the middle layers, so by tomorrow i can hopefully try some wound healing cream on the top layer

Like i still looks a bit moving on the top

Bc there are clearly some thinking patterns of mc kenna in how he reasons

Like i dont think there is any chance he would admit that, bc hes a academic, and mc kenna is weird at least

Like it may be that both are into jung and read his stuff

But like if he goes into more abstract and unconscious topics

Like there is clearly some mc kenna in there

Like the guy is smart, as is, but its like

Oh, i recognize that pattern

Btw where mc kenna got some of his reasoning and attitude, is actually a American priest who wrote some books like 300 years ago

Like he never said that

But like i had to check, so i went and found it

And like the patterns look quite similar to me

Like i cant remember the priests name, like somewhere in America – 100 from now to bout – 600 years or something

Like thats not liberalism, like probably too, but like

That originated from the church

Sol for now to get a working crypto demo~

I may he able to switch back to my crypto system

Like it got more efficient bc i have less buffer which i need to keep in the fiat account, bc i canceled all those contracts which automatically take money, including the car

Like i feel a lot better with my money not beeing in fiat for some reason

Yt deleted my baby boss sample, but like

What is this? Free market capitalism or some socialist babana republic!

Like xmr and btc have atomic swaps, meaning, you can exchange btc to xmr, without any exchange which could want kyc from you

Like i would like app to be able to attach to that framework

So you can make money via the app for working on projects, and then trade it without supervision of any sorts to your almost untraceable xmr account

Like i am going with the thing beeing blockchain based, bc you cant take it down or censor it

So if a Gouverment asks me to comply to some sort of regulation

I can go

Thats technically impossible for me

I made it, but i dont have the access to change something like that

Like thats the beauty of blockchain and why Gouverments are so icky about it

They can preasure twitter, but they can’t preasure code

Like i would maybe go for a 2 ways system just to have things up

1 layer for post storage, and 1 for payment

But like theoretically, it should be possible to do in 1 package

Do i really need to write my own chain~

Like i can see how solana exchanges get regulated already with kyc

I dont want to build something, just for ppl to have to do kyc

And there is so much js in that

Like i am repelling in agony

I may need to talk to the xmr ppl what they think is the best course of action with this

I have seen something called xmr neo, but haven’t looked into it

I will have a look there and then i may write them

I found the charger to the other laptop

Soooo.. Whats my encryption pw again:P

Like every device has a different enc pw and a different normal pw~

Like that looks like pop os

The image on the hard drive should be the one i had on the main laptop

But i tried that one~

I could just reflash it, like i wanna use it as the server for the smart home stuff

As gay

Parents i am gay:Dd

I know its hard to believe, like i am super straight in my fluffy socks:p

Like i just never answered that question in the room i think:p like i think i was quite obvious

Or like bi, or pan, or like can i just throw a dice?

Like i get hormones soon, then i may actually be straight

But i think not

For my sis

Like its in the middle of the year~

But like, if i start now, ill have figured it out by then, what i actually be giving her

That dream is also a image of death and ending but in pretty and good emotions

I like that better

And i cry to the moon that there is a tiny wolf in my shoe

I made great progress today

I unregistered the car, i got the board to work, did some other stuff n fluff

Like there is a routine missing too

Like i am showing every 2-3days rn, instead of every day

Bc i dont want the wound to get moist too much, and that relays to shaving, so disphoria poisoning

So like that will probably also get better with the top layer of the wound beeing closed

Like id rather have it heal properly, like i dont really like it, bc i like water

But like seems reasonable

Like at the end of the week things should look quite different again with all those limiters removed and routines beeing untangled again

Like i am kinda happy i finally am loosing the car

Like its convenient, but also they so expensive, and always want your attention

You have bound valuable, running costs, insurance, taxes

Like id rather take the train or bus every 3 months or something, when I really need to be somewhere further away

Like its just 1 thing off my mind

Like withit dragging a whole cluster of smaller things, so those also gone

Like i am quite happy about that

Soon the transgender process is also closed, what i mean is,

I dont need to get hormones or anything, like those take forever to take full effect

So like thats starte and going on, no docs to find to get something

Like the process is still active, but like eating a lot less recourses

So ican focus on other things

Like things are starting to look a lot better

Then i can also finally focus on business stuffand art

Like life gets so cluttered so quickly in these times

Like i noticed that with like physical stuff

Like after some time you have everything you need and just giving stuff to ppl, bc like ppl give stuff to you randomly, or just say you dont need it

Like capitalism has really produced a overflow of stuff which clusters and clutters,

Like i am not complaining, i love stuff

But like it gets quite cluttered rather quickly, with stuff

And everything you own also owns you

So if everything is cluttered, you attention is also divided and split into spectral short waves of trying to divide total amount of attention by amout of stuff

Instead using a longer wave length with more intensity on what you actually value

Or something like that~

Like idk i am dead but also feel accomplished

Things are on plan till now

Btw in that dream, i fell in love on a end ofthe world party, like actually, end of the world

And there was just a room with vegetarians and vegans at a table with a bunch of meat

And they were discussing if they should do it or not

Like what a scene:p

But like great to see my anima again

Like anima/animus, is the collection of all your romantic and sexual interests personified

A entity showing itself in dreams, trips and visions

The mediator between the concious and unconscious

Like if i just get weed and sleep all day

Like i am still having like the best and most interesting time ever

Btw that dating app, like yeah i know, but quick endorphins,

Like i matched with a girl but she is not writing me, and i am not writing her, we visited each others profiles multiple times, the app reminds you of matches

But we are both sitting and waiting :p

Like i kinda lost the urgency after that cryo appointment, so like idk, i see how that plays out

Like i am quite happy using this app, at this paste of no hurry

Like in the beginning i made like i girl profile, but i have been making good progress at automatically repelling all those guys

Like paradox art seems to work like a charm

Like if ihad to guess

Guysare scared of pretty and smart girls

So putting those paradox images there, is a automatic

Oh noh, thats complicated

And the association is made automatically

Like i can still change my flags if i want to, but i am quite happy with my calm environment

About something, but work was tiring

Like i had a great analogy this time

Like thats why i had tomorrow as my non work day, like the rest of this week will be so unproductive

Like i have some burocracy to do tomorrow,

The car is unregistered, i had stuff to say but bleh~

How are ppl even alive without being in a catatonic state of nothingness

Like give me half a year of working full time and i am building nuclear weapons

Like i have gone over this their radius is actually quite small, bc they bombed a whole country which is actually a island

So small body makes small dick look bigger by relation

So if you were actually trying to..

However, i go watch anime~

At the end of the week i am hopefully able to do stuff again

Issue

This is a normal led strip

But i need a digitally addressable led strip~

But like thats good, the board is all setup, i get some leds and everything should be running

Like u know how led strips go

Red or green or blue, etc for the entire strip

I need a strip where i can control each led individually, else like how you gonna make those patterns and cool animations

For instance, i can take a strip and connect it to a script

So like idk i wanna make 100 each month

So i can use it as a loading bar, where leds change color as i make money

Or like show if the server is doing what its supposed to

Like i can include sub patterns in my sub pattern of the main pattern

With main beeing the main light for daytime rythm

Sub pattern beeing led colors for phases of the day

And single leds beeing the sub sub pattern, encoding information about the sub pattern i am currently in

Like how drugs work

First i ran a update upgrade

Then i realized directly after i plug it in, it shows up, but not 2 sec later

So i applyed slight pressure into the cable usb port, and it worked

The web installer was not working, probably bc i was using chromium instead of chrome

Like i guess if you are using Linux, you are just expected do things via the console anyways ~

So i flashed the bootloader, then the actual software

Had trouble connecting to the wifi of the board

Realized i had to push the cable in for some reason

Realized i need eth connection to connect to the wifi at the same time

Did that, set things up

And now the cable is only used for power anyways

Like i need to connect the light themselves

But basically its working ^~^

Like its easyer on windows

But like linux is, yeah it will take longer, but you now also know how to allocate the memory of the board manually if you doing some other projects

Probably is the pricing

Today i fell in live in mt dreams

What did i do this time~

I guess I’ll find out..

I definitely triggered something somewhere ~

I wanna cry but i dont even understand why

I think those dreams stared when i put the fee in

I think that preasure is frying my brain

I will need to remove it an see if i feel better

But i cant figure out whats so off rn

Like something is really out of bound and will eat me

Like this is really not good

I dont know what it is

But its really not good

Like i hope i am just on some bullshit

I am getting into the top layer of the middle layer, and then comes the top layer, which will heal normally ^~^

The yellow is jod

Comparison from last time

To not focus on normal social goals, i will just optimize stuff and get bored

I should focus on making art

I will put a midi keyboard on the list

Like you dont need one

But i am a stream of consciousness type person,

Like hard to guess by my endless blog posts:p

Like i can just continue writing in midi keyboard

I dont have the patience for slowly laying out a track ~

Like i would do some programming, but i feel like something is still lurking

I wait for now till it shows itself

Those gloves are so cute

Like they basic gloves, but i think they really fit the outfit i am going for

Like i am going for green blue silky fabrics and flannel

Like if the quality is as they look, then i am quite happy

Like if inflation is things getting more expensive

Then my item spending is actually in deflation territory

Like rent and food is inflating, but thats hard to get arround

Like i am trying with food,

Like i think buying the edible mushroom grow set would really make a difference

Like once i have the gloves~ *wiggles tail and butt*

Noodle maker is a option, but noodles not that expensive, but quality up

Like cheese and meat is the most expensive

Like idk if i see something interesting, i will adapt it

Like rent is not something you can do much about

So like i up living quality, or down food

So like i up quality till everything is high quality stuff

Like i am optimizing cost functions, i am sure that will end up somewhere ~

Like idk i just do stuff till i dont need to care, have everything i could want and eat cheesecake, then i see where i go from there and how much money i sit on

Like i always have stuff to do, if i want to be social, i just throw tee partys with cake and weed

Like if i am not running out of money, things are actually quite straightforward

Like as soon as i feel safe, something will come at me again, like i am dying in my dreams, i am quite sure something is lurking

Like i am a bit saver, but i dont trust it

When i get to spend money~

It started to snow outside

Like the person doing massive lines of speed, you know who you are

U smart, u aware you could do whatever you put your mind to?

Like they were looking for a public position in another county

Like young guys do that bc they would never admit that, but they looking for structure

Young guys are intuitively looking for structure if they smart and know they have all that freedom but no idea of what to do with it

Like it may be a good path

But like just a side note

You could if you tried

Like i am not saying its easy, but like you got everything you need

Like i dont wanna get involved in someones life planning, maybe thats the right thing for that person

Just a footnote

Like at some point of testing you understand, like okai, i can do stuff no matter the limits

But that gives you a problem,

Bc what tf are gonna do with it 😀

Like the word psychedelic, it applies to drugs, but it can also apply to ideas, art, doing stuff, like there are different ways to do the same thing

There was a sale

Like i couldn’t resist, i could get items for 65 for 18, like i am pushing my budget, but i think worth it

Here is what i got, i spend in total

The 11 are for 8 pairs of fluffy socks, so 1.5 per pair, so 0.75 per sock

Like my issue with fluffy socks is the outside, like the fur gets all dirty, like bc its fur and you are literally walking on it

So these seem like a good solution

Now, 1 by one

The nail polisher, i wanted a dremmel since years, but never actually got it, and thats a dremmel, but i can also do nails

So i get the other tools for it, and its a dremmel

Wifi camera, bc i was already trying to set 1 up, so i got that

Next, a electronic eyebrow cutter, bc i saw that a while back and like i dont like plucking them, and it was also on sale, like it seems like such a help in getting that routine stable and not having to deal with the pain of plucking, also like probably faster

I am giving another smartwatch a try, maybe this one has a heart rate sensor~

Laptop stand, i heard they actually make a big difference in perceived living quality, so i wanna try

Foot peel thing, bc i have to get smooth at some point

Plastic flower, bc they expensive and on sale, and i need flowers

Next is something interesting

Thats a hair remover

I wouldn’t buy it for 10, but for 3 i will try it, like if it works, thats amazing

Like comments were good

Last is a automatic door closer, bc i do smart home, like i am not getting the futuristic sliding doors~ so like they can close on their own, like automatically openers are 1-200,so that will be enaugh for now^~^

All in all, 10 items for 31, so average, 3.1 per item with some really cool stuff in there

Like i like shopping like that^~^

Next cycle i need, the Bluetooth keyboard

The mirror foil i did not get, bc i don’t even know which size i need, like its dependent on the monitor, which i dont have yet~

Like i have some really pretty gloves i want, maybe they are in budget then^~^

To my history teacher girl with the poncho you know who you are

She told me about the industrial revolution stuff

Like it makes total sense, but i wouldn’t have made that connection myself

And like to the teacher girl collecting my random drawings on stuff, in case i get famous

They made it so you can scan their qr code to make a appointment,

Like i cant be mad at that, thats good execution

Like i am quite curious if it solved waiting times

Like usually ppl just show up, get a number and like chill there for 2 h

But like if you do it like this, like you can actually manage how ppl show up

That should in theory make opperations smoother

Like the girls there looked more chill than usual

The results from like the cryo thing

Thats quite potent, aint it?

I am almost 3x ing in concentration

And doubleing in progressive mobility

35 are stoners, and 5.5 got lost doing circles 😀

The other guys in my family are actually into sports, and like buff and training, like they probably nuke this test out of the water

I was to unregister the car, you need to first make a appointment online

Like i am preaching digital revolution, like i cant really be mad about that

With the hormones, i finally shouldnt needt to go anywhere anymore

Like watts said that

Like he was talking to some business guy which was like

I need to be everywhere, its best i just buy a helicopter

And reply was

No, dont do it, ppl will just expect you to be everywhere even faster

Its something like that, ill be there eventually

If you really need me fast, send a driver to get me

Like the dealers have those anyways, they are not disturbing themselves

Like whats that urgent?

Its not worth sending the driver?

So why did you expect me to be there fast then?

Like its just me beeing comfy

And like ppl will probably only get me if its something worth my time

Like i am still going places, but without time preasure

Like things are really adapting greatly to my new fee^~^

This trans stuff has a history of ppl robbing banks for us

Like its a state medically described by pain, meaning dysphoria

So like if its money, like guys will find money for us

Like going back a lot

Trans ppl were obviously collected by the shamans, bc they were picking out all the odd kids to train them

So like they were historically in the position of like helping with birth, wound healing, drugs, spirits and narrative

Like its the wounded healer archetype

So ppl have this deep intuition of, nah you can’t be having something eat you, having you around is kinda good, besides general empathy

bad dreams

This time i died 2 times in 1 dream

Also i was shown like odd skeletons room by room

Like here is this fish tail a baseball player caught during a game

Here is this massive prehistoric crustation

Like those were too big for my liking

Also i drove in a bus down a cliff, i wasn’t driving, or only partially

I can’t remember rn how i died yesterday, or the day before ~

Anyone wanna bet whats about to happen?

Like i have a bad feeling ~

Where is that arrow pointing to?

Like since years i am looking at those stars like

Thats a arrow, where is it pointing to?

Like i know the german name for that star formation, but like

Thats a arrow

Like who cares about logic, i bet there is something interesting there

Like it was 1 of those fist books of human history translated where they are talking about the war in the heavens and stars and how these ships battled each other

Like thats scientific heracy i cant talk about without looking stupid and linking the source material

But like its heracy and i loved to read it for some reason

Like for all i know that book is non existent for most ppl living, and i will probably also never see it again, but interesting to know it exists

Like it was only a short paragraph in a long book, but i was like

I didn’t expect you to be here

Like old books are a trip

Like the emerald tablets beeing like

Yeah go there, then go there, then you see that thing which looks like the sphinx?

Yeah under that you will find my ship

Like there are tunnels there, but if anything was ever there, like it certainly is not there anymore

Like officially recognized tunnels now

Like i believe it when i see it

But interesting to read from some old Egyptian crystal tablet

Like who knows whats fake and what not, but like interesting to read certainly

Like if someone faked it, at leat they made it interactive and made sure the vibe was right, i can respect that

Did you know the pyramids were no tombs, like Egyptians have tombs, with great wall art, but the pyramids never had a single mummy in them

Like idk what they are, but certainly interesting that thats wrong

Like idk maybe they just give a lot of shade in a place with a lot of sun

Between vibes, working 2 shifts is really making me fluffy~

If i am using morally reprehensible behavior without limiter, for a highly moral cause,

Is that socially good or bad behavior?

That was another paradox, wasnt it..

Lets ask my priest about how the church handled that in the past:p

Jk, but like i need to sleep~

I had some time ago, where i was looking for a therapist, and like i called someone

And i described it as transgender stuff

And they were like

Can you rephrase that, if you call it stuff, it sounds like you are not talking it seriously

And i renamed it transgender cluster

Which is the same linguistics, doing the exact same, and exactly for it looking the same i used it

Like i am a brat

And they understood what i was doing

But like it doesn’t matter, i can call it

A transgender r group

Using chemical language

Making it sound really important and technical,

But all i am saying is stuff, and all the chemists are saying is stuff

Like category substitution is valid no matter of placeholder framework

Like if you doubt me bc i call something stuff, like then i have other issues

Like i know where thats coming from, thats the professional

I wanna look good even when i have no idea what i am doing

But that just makes opperations foggy for me too

Like if i am stupid i do well if someone tells me

Like i dont need to look artificially professional

My general competence is working well without that

Like i renamed it to fluff

Bc it looks prettyer

But like not as a appeal to professionalism

Like nah, if am doing things professionally, then i cant ignore the paradoxes and contradictions surrounding taking things seriously

Like its professionalism, but not to its full conclusion, if you really go all the way, you need to take all the meta layers and paradoxes into your consideration

If you can then still proclaim it needs to be taken seriously, which is not really defined in that context, so do that too, then please do so

But i dont think thats something reasonable, at least not fro. My view

Well, it depends, on how much the general public will not trust you without the artificial linguistic claim to seriousness

Like i get it, ppl are annoying, and its easy, like do whatever, everything is valid for itself

But like i am just randomly thinking trew stuff which happened a eternity ago by my standards ~

And i should sleep..

Like how serious is transgender?

Who wants to see me not getting my hormones beeing emotionally unstable for longer periods and doing what i do when i get frustrated in increasingly extensive intervals, hands up

, excluding the ppl who want drugs, guns, or are mad at society,

Like yes, i am a absolute brat and i will trow massive tantrums

Good thing we have hormones ^~^

Like measure it by ppl possibly dying bc i got mad and had a idea, instead of how i name it, thats should do

Like i am beeing a good puppy rn, but what if i had no reason to?

So odd as a girl

Like i know i can ask stuff without having the male sexual tension there, so i will

Like i am still overstepping, but its not that severe, so like i am just curious and empathic

Like i asked the random girl with the 3 some, how she is doing with her bf bc she seemed so down

Like why u so desperate there if its just fun you 2 decided to look for

You seem to be trying to correct something by that, u okai?

Like if girls dont know i am trans, they will just tell me, like if they know they dont

Like both are good, good luck with it

But like they understand why i asked, after they declined, at which point i will obviously ask for some sort of payment for that help

Like i am curiously overstepping into private territory without thinking about it, but i wont push, i am pricing

Like my general character is already quite foreward, so like i dont need to push, i got momentum

And i will just trip acidentaly in and out of your mindframe

Like its classified as a accident bc of general motion of character

Like i have no idea how i got there, i was curious and smelled emotions

Like female tools beeing so close to the intuitive usecase border, really does me favors

In moving threw social spaces without looking like i am doing something odd

Like i usually am, but not in any way someone could imagine, or i would understand well enough to misuse

Like usually i am just chilling with the 15 sec memory of a goldfish and the tools of life and death having no idea what exactly i was up to, but happily doing something

For some reason that doesn’t look odd if you a girl, but as a guy it does

Idk i didn’t make the rules~

U kmow i look at furrys and go, do you ppl never run out of drugs?

Then i remember who i am~

😀

Like i am a artist, i will claim that as in the job description, and relay it via a appeal to productivity to progressing society

That seems bout right

Also i think i attached it to the medicine category

Like thats how we got them, bc we raided natives stuff and brought it back, including their medicine kits, containing the drugs

Like in the great shamanic tradition i still put drugs to the medicine and bandages

Like thats where they belong, it’s child and animal safe, like medicine is stored generally

It embodies the dangers and attaches the mental warning label you have with medicine in general

Like if you store it in a random drawer, it has the danger classification of random drawer

Which like is the wrong classification

Also like if you got caught with it, like having it with the meds is the most responsible position they could be at

Like ppl cant explain why, but they usually understand which kind of person would store it there

Like we have a place for dangerous substances, but the history and tradition of these drugs got erased by the drug war, so the association is not to where they belong

Like if you think about it for 2 sec, you go

Oh yeah, thats quite obvious

I put the possibly dangerous substance with strong usecase, to the possibly dangerous substances with strong usecase

But like the cultural pathway for that thinking pattern got detached bc that tradition is missing for these particular substances

Like i will always argue child and animal safety before legality

Like laws change, but entities always die the same way

Like the biggest thing i took away from mckenna

Was this attitude of

Dont sanktify me for the stupid fluff which pops randomly into my head

No one knows where thaughts come from~

Like you dont need to make yourself bigger, ppl will do that all on their own

The bigger issue is ppl claiming you something which you are not

And then you either have to match that, or explain the difference

So this attitude gives a great out to that, just bc you can go

Nah that was your idea, i am just living dude, i ak a fox, idk:p maybe its like that who knows ~

Go verify it yourself, you should do that anyway, why u trusting a random fox?

To the question, how much do i understand and don’t understand

I cant tell

Making the assumption i understand as much as i sometimes do seems hubristic

Like i see as much as i dont see i would say

Measure that by my brilliance or stupidity

Like you got to watch me for some time, what do you think?

Like i am aware of that question in the first place ~

Guy, much appreciated ^~^

Its so odd from someone idk my generation

Like u call ppl and they are suprised someone is calling them,

Like thats the culture with phones

But like its obvious if you make a account somewhere, like its on the internet, its public facing, like obviously ppl are gonna show up~

Like i feel like

The argument often heard is that young ppl are always on their phones

Like yes, but they are also the ppl least likely to respond to anything

Like they have learned from young, that obviously ppl can contact you, so they know how to deal with that, and are not confused or suprised by it

And blur out most of the stuff anyways

Also like, who is selling person to person, if you can mass market

Like even the criminals are mass marketing

Like i may be a special case, bc i am not that shy with stuff and am writing my diary publicly

Like it doesn’t get more idgaf

Btw anyone wanna comission some furry diaper porn or buy some lsd? :p

Like if i as the artist am a sign of my time

Then things are quite interesting

Like as always, but yougetme

Like there is this idea of sodom and gomora if ppl are just allowed to do whatever, but like, you wish, things are as boring as ever and self organizing as before Christianity

Like ppl may have grassrooted the church on a surface level, but with that many drugs in circulation, like the appeal to the divine, which is the orinal value to be preserved will always remain in some form

ALSO btw, like my function is here is actually also a quite old social function

Ppl going somewhere exploring something, coming back to the fire and telling stories about it, and showing what they found

Like the divine realms count to that

Like thats not a new thing, thatsreaaaaaaaaaaaly old actually

Like the methods of telling have changed, but the thing in itself is a core social function

Shout out mckenna xx

Like also, but the suicidal stuff

Like i say that, but like i said it before

I was sitting there going with the doc threw my stuff struggling to find something which counts as suicidal

Like how couldn’t you be with my life like thats odd~

Like i thaught i found something and doc was like, that doesnt couldn’t for like 5 or 10 things

Like such a odd situation, like great^~^ but what?

Living is such a puffly endeavor

Btw thats a reference to Diogenes

If i wasnt me id copy me too

If i wasnt Diogenes, i would also wish to be diogenes

If you feeling suicidal

Like i got the math, selling stuff, deep historical stuff, the metaphysical, coding, technological, etc etv stuff all, and i am still sitting here like

Just end me

So like idk maybe its the hormones with me, but like it may just be that life is suffering

Like damn budists

Like i got a headache rn, so that explains it rn, but u get me

Like i could literally turn a toaster into a stargate and would sit there like

Can i get struck by lightning now?

Like i am quite sure something is not right about that, but maybe thats just how things be

Usually i always prefer the original voice of something, bc like the production was there going

Nah they jusy lost their entire family, keep that in mind when you say that etc

But Morgan freemans voice is a lot more..

Present

In the german syncro

Like Englisch is always more melodic

But like the german is like you pushed his voice into the foreground with a compressor and rolling r s

Like the English sounds a lot more epic, but the german is also a bit deeper

Like my analogys are brutally fitting

Like She started pretext with

Its not that easy to find someone ~

furry_irl from furry_irl

Another girl ask on that app

Like u wanna join a 3some

Like i just went, i am transgender, u aware of that, like no one seems to read my bio~

Like i am doing well as a girl, just beeing transgender is stupid:p

Like getting the hormones soon will be a pleasure

This pedestrian youth always wants more than its given

Yeah late stage capitalism, aint it

Obviously i pay myself first

Like thats how business is done

Like i have my budget

And then everything else is payed

Like if there is trouble with something its usually not about 20

So like i dont buy random fluff bc i dont have a overview over how much i can spend

I can keep my budget in my head, i cant keep all the transactions on my account in short term memory

So what i am probably buying this cycle

10 pairs of fluffy socks

A Bluetooth keyboard with TouchPad and backlight

Like i wanted this one but they are not letting me buy it

A wall mount for the monitor

1 way mirror foil for a smart mirror

Like if i can get the board to work, and my humidity and temp sensor arrives, likr i think i got everything from a smart home perspective i need for now

Like my toilet is glowing, i think i am good

Like then i can truly connect stuff

Like if i have a monitor in a picture frame on the wall, and a smart mirror to display stuff

The main light for the main cycle, and the leds for sub cycles/pattern setting

Then i set everything up so i can voice comand

Like i still want the led cube paw patrol hologram display

Just bc it looks so futuristic and like i can display things in 3d, like i like that

Its like 30 to make, so like some of the next cycles, like maybe theres a better option

But like my main things are still the same, washing clothes and making food

Like if you in a bigger city, like theres more food than you can count and they bring it to you, like i am sure i can find something healthy

In terms of clothing, like i will just be getting a kigu at some point and be living in that

Like in a smaller city you get so much attention just going out with that, but like in a bigger one, there are so many ppl on the same area, they are used to ppl not giving a shit

Like u still get attention, but they probably have seen 3 ppl like that this week

Like its not like you are going anywhere far if most things are in a 5 min walking radius

Like i can look pretty if i want to, but most of the time, you dont really care and just want to be comfy

Like i am planning on moving near Germanys city of business and commerce, you can be sure there will be a business for everything you need

Like thats sounds like a good fit for me

Like i will not order yet, i think first about if i want anything else or like wanna change something ~

Like i need a keyboard, bc i will be watching something, oh wait, i wanna code something, lemme minimize that and code that and then go back, or do it at the same time, like a remote is not enough, and a full Bluetooth keyboard is overkill, like if i wanna do that much, i just go sit and do it properly

Like the voice control cant really do that~

Like the main things are moving and side job, and those are both big ticket items

So like then i have all the toys i could want

So like i have less things to blame on for not doing stuff

I am thinking about top layer

Bc i would like to adapt that

I can’t decide between a silky green fabric and green flannel as like a over shirt layer

Like obviously i am detailing the social signaling eventually ~

Like i know how much focus is on shoes,

So ill either go slippers

Toe shoes, exactly bc there is so much attention on that spot

I also found like really hyper shoes

Like if i say connect lsd to sports, i mean like connect lsd to something like the shoe which looks like a Lsd trip 😛

Like thats probably a offbeat of something, like idk i am not Shoe person

But like if u buy that, like i got all the attention even more, so like ill probably go slippers or something ~

Also i think i get it now, there are these fluffy fine velvet socks which look really fancy

And i think those normal fluffy sucks are the attempt to make that cheaper or something, idk

Seems reasonable~

Like i think i found what i am looking for

Like they are basically ballet shoes for outside, like i am already wearing the ballet pants~

That should be comfy enaugh

Like i dont really care that much bout fancy shoes, like i am artsy, i will buy the most interesting ones, but like

My feet dont get dirty or wet? Yeah i am happy, like if you can actually walk in them, i am even more happy :p

Like i dont like ugly, me artist

Like didnt i wanna hide more ~

Like i go forward as always, i need to also give me some hiding space

Why i mentioned that ppl getting more homophobic

Like i am not refferencing a vague fear

Like maybe too, but what i was intending was

Things usually have gravity, meaning what goes up comes down, so things kinda move in a double helix sine curve

So the question is not if, but when

Like i usually call that a cycle bc most circles are spirals, which in 3 dimensions are sine/cosine waves

Like that goes deep into how irrational numbers work

Like how you construct a triangle, those functions you use and just learned without thinking about it, they are calculating the triangle by calculating a circle, which is sin/cosin which in 3 dimensions is a spiral

So that pattern of the irrational numbers is going threw all sorts of domains, including homophobia and the opposite, homophilia?, however

So the question is, if that cycle is big enaugh/ bigger than my life span

Like its more complex, bc you have sub games/sub spirals, where you have something happening, you have a counter reaction, to which you have a counter reaction etc etv..

So you can basically sum that and then calculate the sums against each other and get a average moving point, over time a line

Like you cant calculate that, bc you cant track every social event, but the unconscious kinda does that automatically for me

Like with social interactions you are already deep into chaos mathematics

Bc there are sooooo many variables with everything and information degregation etc etv

So like obviously thats on my radar

Like i am trying to remember why irrational numbers are doing that again

I think its something like

I am conflicting terms, its imaginary numbers, not irrational numbers

I think it was something like they are adding another dimension to the number line

Like the number line is quite line like

So if the number line is the concious, the imaginary numbers are the unconscious

But i am not a Mathematician

Heres the urban dictionary definition

The mathematical symbol i is the square root of negative one.

i is not the only imaginary number. It is but the first number in a yet unsubscribed numerical system. It is metaphorically equivalent to the place of the number 0.

The number sequencing (such as 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, ) of the imaginary system consists of all of all prime roots of any whole prime negative number. Unlike our Arabic number system, which has ten digits, the imaginary number scale is infinitely unique and never repeats itself. It instead overlaps.

The imaginary number system is not linear. The numbers do not stand next to each other in a line, but ripple outwards from the negative prime in a quantum manner. As there are infinite number of whole prime roots of each prime negative number, the main question in developing this theory is how to determine an ordered sequence of usable numbers.

While the use for the imaginary number system has yet to be discovered, it may help to describe the imbalance of energy which causes there to be a difference in the amount of matter and antimatter in the universe. As such that no ‘real’ equation has been discovered that can describe anti-matter, it may be that a yet unexplored system of mathematics is key to understanding it.

The square root of negative one is i
Any other root of negative one is undefined.

The next number examined would be the square root of negative two. From there outward, expanding infinitely, would be all prime roots of negative two.

Then to negative three, and then five. Seven follows, and eleven and thirteen. Et cetera, Ad nausium.

The points interest in the imaginary number system would be the intersection of similar prime roots of separate negative numbers.

No other symbols for the imaginary numbers have been created for this system.

My ads adapted to my new pricing:p

Like they certainly pretty ^~^

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx3n8P1E6LCNhRxbaIDdML2tYl7BFSgjvP

Like still feel the snakes under my skin, but it has gotten far better

Like i didnt mention that~

Like i had that like a year ago

Just a random moment with a vision of like snakes all over my arms

Like i am a psychedelic person

I am less scared than curious

Like oh i get it, you like my body heat, thats understandable

Like reading the social structure is not something thats possible, i dont even question why or how there are snakes, its just how things are

Like i have a saying for that

Its nothing which would exist

So like i don’t see the snakes, thats was 1ce for a split second tripped randomly into another realm

But like after that it was quite clear, like that feeling thats snakes

Like there is some deep symbolism, with snakes and dragons there, which also relate to why they occurre with such states of distress

But like i am actually more happy knowing its snakes, than just a vague feeling

Like can you proof that?

Proof what?

The snakes?

What snakes?

The ones that dont exist

They dont exist

Huh

Like its that simple

But like if the snakes are happy, i am too^~^

Like its just how i personally make deals with entities, i have this coincidencia oppositorum vibe of, yeah u a snake, but u a ally or not?

Like if its about entitys, like i said a while a go, there is a shamanic technique without drugs

Like u put on shamanic drums, close your eyes, and use analogy

Everything going down, ladder, stairs, river, trapdoors etc, gets you into the lower realm, everything going up, into the higher realm

Like you can call it a trans like state

Like in the lower, i had a encounter

Like there is psychedelic rules there

Something was randomly attacking, me, so i force fielded it, and went, you were trying to kill me, so i can kill you?

It agreed and i killed it

Like i didnt want to be disrespectful

Like sometimes you just kill something

So like its me personally trying to vibe with things, bc you can always just kill without issue

Like thats also what i was getting at, whats underlying 2 psychedelic ppl making business deals

I think i described it as both Partys basically in a cold war situation with nuclear weapons ready

Like thats underlying that, both partys beeing aware of all the cards by default, and both beeing able to make every possible move

So like you just try to vibe and play, bc both are not shy to act with force and divine justification

They send me the money*-*

Like the thing is i dont trust

So like i haven’t gotten money from that company before

So like i was not convinced and expecting things to attack me again, till i get that money

Like i dont think they are scammers, but i dont trust till i see it~

Holy yes, that great ^~^

I am happy <3

Like it also validates working

Like psychologically, a promise for money is not snapping, untill you have seen money before

Like if you theoretically know you get something you will loose interest after some time, bc you have not actually seen some

Like if you are fishing somewhere and you dont catch anything, you try a different spot, even if someone promises you you will

Same with someone promising big fish, and you only see small ones

But if you have gotten a fish there before, you understand its possible, and are far more likely to continue fishing there

Like that great news^~^

Like i still need time till i am calm again, that issue with the social insurance, still is open, and i got another letter from another direction about something~

Like i am blissful and delighted ^~^

But also there is still dragons arround_

But also 😊

Tired