Author: EmeraldStorm
C
Clip
Yeah
Fedi is still as calming as it always was
Idk it feels a lot more how social media should be
Like its ppl just chilling, doing their thing, without a regard for what ppl think
Like it lacks the corporatism and appeal to please the last generations and their not understanding and trying to savespace, and i dont think thats bad
It just makes ppl calm and at peace
Like there is no outrage, its just ppl do different things and thats okai
Like i was trading cake recipes back then~
But like how to make cake is not treated differently than someone’s foursome, and i am quite happy about that
Like in that sort of environment i can chill
Like its like those African tribes where girls just walk arround with boobs exposed, just bc its not seen as something sexual there
Like nah, you ppl are the odd ones for taking everything sexual, its is not inherently so
You are the ppl making it weird by beeing offended by it
You are the issue, not the body parts
But like i wont say that, bc who cares about convincing ppl about anything, let them run off the cliff and get popcorn ~



Like running out
Of money was actually a great experience
Like there are certainly more fun things
But its certainly something to do 1ce in your life
Like from a experience standpoint
I am sure its great for character development or something to that regard
Also like i am kinda monetizing it bc more ppl probably know me now ~
So like certainly interesting ~
Such a cute bean

If she shits on my carpet again, i will actually make him a she~
Like my life is certainly wasn’t boring ~
I have so much to do
Tomorrow
I need to finish editing that video
Like i usually wouldn’t, but like i also make the sound quality better and stuff
Do burocracy and then work
If i manage well, then there should hopefully be nothing in my way by Tuesday ^~^
But tomorrow will be hard ~
Like that burocracy is what pains me, without that, things would be sunny
Like its the tax ppl, and its a IT issue on their side, but if i cant get them to move it will still cost me 200
Like its like the 4th time now that i am trying to resolve that~
I want that finally closed so i can focus on important stuff~
The thing about the food delivery is
Like it also keeps my calories up, persistently
Like if i dont gain weight with hormones and someone consistently send food to me
Like it has a health benefit besides convenience
Like i had a dream with a fridge full of pizza
And was confused, like why i have so much pizza, like great but odd
So thats when i remembered those ingredient delivery things exist
Like i should have food in case, but basically, they send what i need with how to make it
I looked into their tos, you can basically quit without much issue for the one i looked at
Like if the big payment is gone my moving budget is half done
Like then ill consider testing the smallest thing they sell to test
Like it’ll cost me 40 for a week, like its on sale for 15, but like i calculate with real price
It gets cheaper the more you take
But like i can just get more easily, but like i wanna test how much of a difference it makes
Like it fits well with me not having to go shopping that often
So like i can also phase out the energys with the smoking, possibly
Like it will probably also help with getting a apartment
Like u talk with ppl,
Yeah i work from home, and i do my own stuff
Oh yeah smart home, ah my food just gets delivered
No i dont smoke or have pets
Like i sound really comfy and less like, student who will party a lot
And like i dont really do much, like i am a handful, but i am basically quite tame if the hormones work
Or really hyper bc antidepressant
Like girls, remember your puberty? Yeah, that will be great fun:p
Good thing ill be arround much new ppl, i think that will be really interesting ^~^
Like i sound impressive on paper
Like i was
Raised properly for a guy
If i needed money my dad would just offer that i help with work
And like carry a palette of stone stairs up 3 layer of stairs
Like to raise a guy, thats great parenting and showing the value of money
Like it was never preasured, but i still did it anyways, bc what a guy gonna do, refuse a challenge?
But like thats not how my brain works and i am somehow a girl:p
And still dont understand the value of money~
Like i am such a brat, bc i am just a brat:D
Like the idea was good, but like whatever i am seems genetic or something, where i will still do what i was designed to do
No matter the education
Like if i want i can, but my wants are quite curious and odd often
Like you cant uneducate transgender
Like in terms onf val3
Value judgments
Like speaking about cost function optimization on that for value
Like ppl aim for like designer stuff
But like there is a category over that
Custom
Like something greatly made, which is custom has intrensically more value
Bc like i am sure you would like to buy it, but you can’t bc it was specifically made for me
Like including design
Like no matter the cheaper price in another country, i know a experienced artist if i see them
Like thats the thing with artists, it takes forever to get good at it, but at some point they just dripping with value
Bc they just make something cool you cant buy
Like i am optimizing too, but not on brand, but custom quality
Like it takes time, but i think it will be really worth it
Bc at some point everything will just be high quality
Like not brand better material, but deep custom fitted, plus better material
But like your entire environment needs to be adapted to that
Like i was the male child of a like outside working person ruff guy,
I don’t like beeing dirty~
Like i have nothing against getting dirty, but like
For instance, working that job, i would get mad with all my fur arround, trying to keep things clean
Like these things require some upkeep
Like i will not do the upkeep for a designer thing, but like if i like chose the fabric, had it custom made to my measurements,
Like obviously I’ll do the upkeep for that
Like everyone likes nice things
But also everything you own, owns you
So i am really careful with getting the high level items i want
And making sure they really are what i want~
Watch “ALLEYCVT – RELIGION [OFFICIAL VISUALIZER]” on YouTube
Like the idea is
I work my normal job to cover food and rent n stuff
And side projects and jobs for everything i randomly want
I should have a puffer for if i really need something
Down-payment, money for furniture etc to move in also has its prepared budget
Like if everything works as planned, things are looking good
Like i should be sufficiently motivated to make money on my own, but also have the important things secured, and a buffer if i miscalculated
Like from there i can work
In my mid 20s, working from home, with a side quest, the apartment smart homed, and my food delivered to me automatically
Near a bigger city but a bit outside
A sufficient skill set and my psychologycal fixed
Like if i can get a random stack, i am golden
But like i should really not have much to complain about ^~^
Like i will probably still to~
Like thats the trade with high risk high reward psychological traits
Its really unlikely we’ll win, but if we do, its big
But its not like its a choice ~
Like i will not have sums of money to spend yet, but i should be living quite comfy anyways
Like if i survive till then and dont get hit by something again~
Like by age, i can just mix in with the other ppl studying whatever economics degree they are doing
But like i dont need to reorient after i have my degree
If i make a step foreward from that point
It should go directly into my pocket
Like education here is free, and the loans are great, like without interest, and like you only have to pay back like half of it
But like u still paying a loan, meaning economic slowdown while in your best years
Like i would take that loan, no question, from a economical standpoint like half is free money
But it also would bind me to showing up at some school each week
Like i could study art or something
Like i think my time is better invested elsewhere
Like ill probably be there anyways bc i met the ppl somewhere randomly ~
But like ill try this one^~^
Like with food
Outsourced, and me finally getting my hormones, the last items baught and big bills paid
I can readjust budgets to nails, hair and social stuff
Like there is only 1 hair person i trust in this area to do a premium job, but they also are not cheap
Like the others are good too, i am just bratty about wanting good, when i readjust things
Like i dont want to get into a habit of buying cheap quality services bc they cheap
Like i am girl and i had enough trouble for this life, like no, i aim high like i always do
Also i need to find nail girls with good oils
Like in a big city, like you have 10 to choose from, so either i wait, or go looking for someone with good quality
Like nono i am completely mad
But i will still try to get what i want
Like the bathtub is the most important thing
So like moving is probably more important
Like next payday i hopefully have half of what i need, like depending on how much that big bill removes, and other ppl asking for money etc etc
Like if i can actually keep my money, i should have half, but its a tight fit
The month after i should have
Like then i can go looking for a appointment
And from there i can add extra for furniture and security and actually making sure i have 3 months
Clean up things here properly
And then move
Like if the side job continues as planned ~
Where
Do you get good fabrics?
Like if i have everything done and am stacking
Like i can get like really good quality fabric
And bring it to someone in a country where making things custom is cheap
But like if all my measurements change with hormones, i need to wait~
Like i feel like a girl needs a good cashmere winter coat with fur
And a silky back summer dress
Kinky

U know i am stupid
I had baking mix for lemon cake
Which i baught like 2 months ago
Like its so easy to make good sweets these days
Also btw i added cacao powder
If i jad apples, they would fit greatly
J
J
J
G
Btw
To my social tendencys
Like i am quite unsocial
But like i actually met ppl i vibe with but they usually, smart, artists or furrys
Its the type of person who has things going on
You can meet and work on stuff separately without issue, or like do something together
But that fear of
Oh another person is here, we need to do what’s in the social rulebook
Is not as prominent
Like with those ppl i vibe, but they seem rare
Like consistent with statistics
But like from experience
It seems i am more really picky than unsocial
I haven’t baked something sweet in a while, have i?
Like i baught the fine sugar like a month ago, so i can glaze stuff
Oh yes, waffles and pancakes exist
Lemon cake
Chocolate cake
Chocolate mouse
Like i am not that social rn, so i don’t need cookies or like that sweet cake on shelf, but like i can make for me^~^
So
If i can avoid the ppl asking larger sums
There is actually only 1 item for 7 i need
Which is the Bluetooth remote keyboard
Then its just addons
Picture frame for tv
Toilet water thing
Like i will try to not spend all my budget from then on, and put part of it to the side for other random purchases ^~^
Like cheesecake, more sweets, or whatever comes to my mind or comes up randomly, mirror foil
Like i am just filling a value pool then to use^~^
Like i am scared to spend 7 untill i am sure those ppl are not asking for bigger sums
Like the 7 wont make a difference ~
Still, i do
I have found my solution
There are cheap plastic shelves
Like you dont buy those if you have any common sense
Bc you open them and get the feeling your shelf is collapsing
But there is actually a solution to this
You secure them to the wall
You should secure all shelves to the wall
No one does, but you should
Second, they are ugly
But no matter, bc i will reskinning them with mirror dragon scales anyways
Like the thing is, they have also a practical matter, bc i can expand by usecase
Like if i sit there like, i have this great shelf, but like i just have too many clothes for it, like thats a issue
Like this i can just expand cheaply by need
Opening will just be done by string going along the back and 1 small motor
Like i want just a mirrored wall, push a button or something and the scales open up and you can get whatever you want
It makes the room bigger, and also its just cool
Like bout 50 for a 1x1m cube, like including everything
Ill put it on the list~
Also like, i have a avertion to heavy shelves n stuff
Okai so there is 2 things i need to do
Edit the rest of that video
And some burocracy on Monday
Then ii should be fine for now
Like i have a stack of papers to sort into my folder
if i can then make it to the next salary
Things should hopefully only go up ^~^
So Tuesday i can hopefully clean again
Volatility
I will
Probably use trello
Like i can give the guy the link to his board and he can watch whats in queue, whats beeing done, and whats done
Like you can tell ppl whats going on, but like this they can just look at it an see how things are progressing
I am curious if i can link my general project management and trello
Or if i can just give the link for my project management to a specific project to someone
Like i like the progress bars it has
Like thats furry comissions
You pay me before i start doing anything, bc you only have so many customers never show up again till you start asking half first
No working for exposure etc
Its the training of a social structure which has a active marketplace
Where you can actually try what works on real customers
In this case, without having to buy 10000 worth of stock, bc you are selling furry art
Like life gets messy, but i cant be running after my money all the time~
Looking good
I should be able to do that on Monday ^~^
They just send me the video there,
The reason u use email or drive is, files actually get compressed by all those apps,
So the result will always be better with better quality video
Like u ppl know me ill probably do it tomorrow ~
But like if i dont put ppl in slots despite how i actually do it,
Ppl will always expect to get it as fast as possible
Like quality will decrease if i am stressed, so its actually quite important i keep myself comfy^~^

Like i need to compare the refference they gave me to what they are already doing to get a feel for what they actually want
Like they are not split testing based on data, else things would be more specific
Like i can probably put my autouploader as a bonus gift onto negotiations
But i would probably need to explain how to use it~
Like i said, who knows what the market does:p
%


Watch “Lost Frequencies feat. Janieck Devy – Reality “MÖWE Remix”【Melodic】” on YouTube
Watch “Lost Frequencies feat. Janieck Devy – Reality “MÖWE Remix”【Melodic】” on YouTube
Watch “”RAGE APPLYING!” – THE NEXT DUMB JOB TREND” on YouTube
Watch “Fight Back” on YouTube
I need
To change the db on the server

Btw i just got cigarettes, bc like 2 weeks till i get hormones ~
They so expensive 0-0 like usually i buy 1ce or 2ce a week tabacco for like 5
1 pack alone is 8, like that be so expensive, how u ppl smoking?
Like thats where i am selling the premade video content, which i was generating with the script
And i got a request for video editing on that
Like at some point i noticed, its usually enaugh to be arround in the market, ppl will hit you up with whatever they need
Can someone tell me who those ads are for
Which target ppl who cant distinguish between “old it infrastructure” and “the cloud”
Like who runs a data center and doesn’t understand that thats the same?
Like who put you there?
Like all hail aws, but like why~
Watch “Starlight” on YouTube
Watch “Teleport” on YouTube
I just woke up
Lets first get some food, and then talk business

Also i just almost slammed my toilet door into the wall, bc i was getting used to the other door now having some resistance and coming back on her own:D
Like the
Thing about my mind is
I have completely forgotten about the hormones again and am thinking about mirror dragon scale shelfs
Whilst ignoring someone who wants to do something
Like i feel like i have been just alive too long
And my mind is already going
Oh whatever, next moment of living
Like i can’t tell if i have just given up
Reached some higher state of understanding
Or both
I think I’ll sleep a bit and forget the question~
I am thinking about how to make
A better clothing and general storage
Like future style
I want white glossy plastic
Thats doable, you can heat plastic and vacuum form it over everything
But like you should not use that oven to cock anything after that, bc its toxic
But like completely doable
But like i need to decide on a shape ~
Like there should be a reason it has that shape which is better than what you can already buy~
Like i am thinking about having like a flip table, bc u saw those flip holders to buy
But like i need aesthetically fitting storage
Like i would like something like dragon scales, so
Like i can make them move when i wanna get something
Like i think that would be cool, if your wall moves like dragon scales
Especially if they are individual mirrors
But like that would require good planning ~
Or a 3d printer and good planning

This, but opening the other way arround like dragon scales, shape of scales, and bigger
Like a basic flip box, but white plastic and cheap enough, so you can buy a whole wall of them
And like each min a4 size

This, but a wall of those would be too expensive
They are 7 per pce
Like i can retrofit mirrors and making them move
Like tgis is really good
Bc i can go
Oh i am tripping af, my pulse seems high, should i be worried?
Oh, nah the data is normal
Okii^~^
Like thats great
Like, stop
Counting my steps while i am in bed, and measure my pulse~
Okai
So the watch is working
It says oxygen saturation is 97%
Heartrate between 70 and 100
I am underweight, like thats nothing new
But my rating gets better as a female quite a bit
I am happy with it, if it also takes random heartrate measurements, i am glad
Definitely edible
Like i am dipping with zazikki
But like probably better just with regular flour
I had the air filter and
Humidifier off for like 2 days
And like before i was wondering if they are even working
I put them on again, like they make so much difference in air quality
I need to do something about the noise
Like its like a small laptop noise level, but like i unplug certain power cables, bc they make a slightly not even hearable noise ~
Like u already know living in a city, i am putting noise foam on my walls~
Like its also good for heating cost, bc its isolation
Okai, so i ran out of
Flour while making bread
Like the dough was done but wet, so i used breadcrums to finish is
Rolled it into bread stocks, 2-3 cm wide, length of a sheet, added seasoned butter ontop and chilli, like raw chilli not flakes
Now i bake that, cant wait
Btw if you
Haven’t noticed
The tv replaced the fireplace in the home, as the center of attention
Like the whole room is usually arranged arround the tv/fireplace
Bc like thats where the heat is
That should help in decorating
Like i am replacing the fireplace with art, in this case a picture frame, and then i can like display a fireplace looking thing or something, like the backlit leds help:p
So i am mixing the fire with plants for contrast
Like thats a stupid idea with a fireplace bc its too hot, but like its the symbolism before that, of having a fire in nature
Like table in relation to tv is hard, but table in relation to fireplace, like its obvious where you put it and how you arrange it
Those greek stickys, like massive marble stone things holding up the building, those are trees, like ppl still put plants on them to this day~
So you are arranging with todays aesthetics but in the background you are arranging BC tribal
Bc we intuitively understand that environment deeply
So like
If you young
And your parents walk in and cant close their doors
Heres a cheap solution
Like it makes it harder to open the door
But it solves it
€ 4,01 55%OFF | No punching automatic door closer closing sliding door wooden door home closers
https://a.aliexpress.com/_mKmq1zu
I should get affiliate links~
Watch “Gravity Control” on YouTube
Okaix
Watch is now loading and showed indicator
Like i put it on the normal 5v power brick, did nothing
But like on the laptop port its doing fine, probably only takes 3v and voltage protection if 5v
Also, i think i have figured out the shaving stone thing
Like its a everyday a bit thing
Where like u shave it down, and then just keep that up with this thing, which like doesnt require that much effort
Like its a tool for when your routines are stable
Like its not just social, like i am surrounded by fluff and plush, beeing shaved is quite great^~^, if you can keep it up
Like its only useful with the hormones, bc male hair are quite a lot thicker, so like~~
Like
In the comments
Ppl are having tge same issue, but like loading or something it works, like it has no loading indicator light or something ~
Like i dont really care about the smart watch, i am looking for a heart rate sensor wich connects to wifi
Buying a cheap smartwatch is just easier than finding a hert rate sensor which connects to wifi~
Like if i can get it to turn on~
It will load for now
Like cheap chinese watch i might be able to easily jailbreak, and add to my custom script, like easier than Samsung or something
Okai, so
Stuff arrived
The hair removal thing
Like it actually works and my skin is quite smooth^~^
We’ll see about endurance
Leafe decorations look great on the tv, like it needs 1 of these old white picture frames, but then it looks great^~^

Laptop stand is okay, does stand, but it kinda slips in the lower positions bc my laptop is curved at the bottom front edge there, ill find a solution someday, but generally works, like i could just bend it a bit, but ill be careful for now~
The smart watch is confusing me, it says to push the function button for 3 sec, but i couldn’t find any button yet~
Ip camera i haven’t tested
Dremmel, eyebrow thing, and smoother, all need batteries, which i domt have rn
Door closer is a bit loud, but generally works, like it has quite some pull~
Btw with the thera
Its not that out of line, like they can do that and you have 10 days to bring it
Like the system is not adapted
Like 10 20 years ago, you could just not have that insurance, but now everyone is legally required to have it~
Btw like
If i moved, i will try those food delivery things, like which send you ingredients, but you make them yourself
Like i looked at them and they were quite expensive back then, but now they actually reasonable
Like 30-50 a week for me
And i dont really have to go shopping, and get some variety
Like if i moved, i have no bigger upcoming costs, i am hopefully at 3 months rent in backlog and am slowly stacking to 6
Like i am not doing vacations, like what u mean i sit arround all day doing nothing
Like thats what i aim for in normal life
Like i wanna explore and do stuff, like lemme get lost in india for a month till i find back~
So like, i have no bigger expenses after moving
So like i let my food get delivered to me into my smart home
Like it fits well with not having a car
Like then i should have all systems comfy^^
Like i need to set things up, despite the trans disruptions
Like if i am not smoking, i need good food arround
Like i should enjoy globalism as long as we have it
Like ill still work on growing my own, decentralization and such, but its a good baseline
Made a wall mount, took me like 15 min
Like its not with arm, but it does its job
Still missing the Bluetooth keyboard tho~
Also like i found decoration
Luminous aquarium plants
Like those look so alien
Also i found a door opener for 20
Like its one of those push to open ones, but it should work the same
Take off the lock, push the door and it opens, else its closed by the automatic closer
Like idk if the opener and closer will conflict, but ill see
Watch “5G” on YouTube
Watch “Override” on YouTube
Oh btw
I have someone who has cowbells playing, like always and its making me mad
Like i would not say that to not be rude
Like its completely understandable bc its repetitive patterns and like that really first certain ppl
I am talking top down about ppl again~
1 sec
@override
Acidental expetion key, import frame sociology, science, top down systems view, validation appeal to authority, Artist, soc. sys. engineer
Like
Certain subjects experience a stability threw pattern repetition, by visual or auditory means, as such the subjective ego function is necessarily claiming such patterns in their selective persuit
As such the arbitrary case may be present in the processing differentiated ego perception of statistically unlikley subjects
In conclusion the reflective tendency of the ego, via the subconscious means is present as a validation of such, presenting a low level necessaty despite personal afflictions and affections.
Dissolve frame.
So like it makes me mad, but its completely understandable, so i should not complain to the person
Music is really subjective, i am sure some ppl dont like my music, sill i get to pick environments and repetition is not my particular case
So like, change nothing, but i will still complain in my diary about it~
Watch “ETERNAL TORMENT” on YouTube
Watch “HELLSTRIKE” on YouTube
Watch “biological warfare” on YouTube
Watch “Reaktor 4” on YouTube
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Watch “Awake” on YouTube
Watch “Protocol” on YouTube
Watch “Shahmen – Van Gogh’s Crows” on YouTube
G
Furry✈️irl from furry_irl
I think i al
Alienated all the drug related ppl in my proximity
I don’t think thats such a bad thing
Like i should be social
But also last time was quite stressful afterwards
Like maybe after hormones ~
Like yes i am totally selfish brat
But also whats the hurry~
Did anyone count
How much lsd i was actually taking?

I think with the hormones i can do a break
U know
I just watched one of alex videos
And he was like
After all i am not doing this to get famous or something
Like it made me think
Like i dont think i am doing that, like i am not targeting that
Like i am a major brat
But i always was, like that high ego is nothing new, i had that before ppl actually knew i existed, ask my ex:p
Like no, i am so gone beyond the clouds, always was~
Like fame would be easy, you pretend to be a good person, buy some followers and fake it till you make it and end up with a bunch of kids following you and asking their parents for money
Like i think i will be a brat if i get the chance to but i dont think its actually something i am aiming for
Like i think i am sometimes quite manic and that is kinda confusing me in this regard
But i shouldnt claim confusion~
Like idk gimme the hormones already and we’ll see
Like i feel so bad for using my dads car all the time, like he also has better things to do
Besides economic costs
Like i could just take a train or something ~
Like i chose to unregister the car
Like i just wait 2 weeks for the hormones, like depending on therapist
Like i didnt say which, else i wouldnt have told that, that was his courtesy, thats why i even claused that, else i would just wait~
Like just give me the hormones and leave me alone already~
So i can sit and draw and do nothing
Like
I basically got 2 layers in 1 contract,
First the crystals, which get payed by ppl
So thats basically a adress which is payed to, but the initial posting is also payed
And then comments which are connected by a factor to the first layer
Or actually, i can do that easier
I have 1 object which always refers back to the last object
Like how a blockchain works
Like i understand blockchain, but i dont understand it in the context i am using it in
Bc like its a bchain, but it runs on a bchain? But like i send messages and transactions, so why exactly do i see double?
Like i have conceptual issues with that~
Like i press button and itsends message and pays someone, got it, i can do that
But doesn’t that fractal in how i arranged that?
Oh no it does and I can visually see it, oh no
Sooo.. Press button, get message from input, send+money send
All in a div
And then i can contend with how it fractals in doing the actual layout and breaking my mind then~
Like it should be simple if i dont trip into some infinity~
Okai so
I looked into a example of a sol bas3d shop
Made one, works fine, validates transactions and purchases
But like its type script
Like you have java, which is shit, so we made javascript, which is still shit, so we made type script, which is okai for now~
Like java stuff has its usecase, math
But thats not what you will see it used for
Its main purpose is to create jobs, which it is good at, but i dont wanna write in it
So like i need to figure out how to do transaction messages, which is not possible
But i have seen a workaround
Like i dont even wanna deploy this, that will be a huge pain, also its not web 3
Like it has blockchain, but its not web 3
Like it still needs a server to serve it
Thats web 2, but with blockchain instead of db
It has the same Single point of failure
And all that type script is also mostly web2 stuff
Like you can write your dating app like that, but not a pce of actual infrastructure
Like what i want is actually just the chain, so like ppl can build their own frontend however they like
But like idk how to do that yet, like solidity contracts are that, but like i cant write anything in eth, that would be stupid
Like ppl out here including half of react to display a button
Like i can do what i am looking for in solidity, but no one will ever use it, bc its eth
Btw me axing all that doesn’t mean anything, like i can do that all day long, and still be doing the same thing
Like it was just pretty decoration
Like i liked the sorting a lot
But like i would probably put most of it, on what i am building here anyways~
But like i need a way to build it
Actually i looked it up, i can write sol contracts,
So that solves my issue
Watch “How Physicists Created a Holographic Wormhole in a Quantum Computer” on YouTube
Watch “Google’s Quantum Computer Created A Wormhole. No, Seriously.” on YouTube
Where
Did my global posts go?
Like you were able to filter of you wanted posts of the entire federation or just your own cosmos


Interesting

Like
I am not gonna build bombs, i have limiters in place
Like its my diary, i am just tracking stuff i must watch
Like
There are no real limits in what i can do
But like if i try to fix something,
I need to understand what it actually is i am fixing
Like getting hormones usually takes ppl like 3 years, i did it in 1
Like logically speaking my reaction is over the top, but like its also kinda expected to be like that
Bc thats like the reason i have my attention there in the first place ~
Like that should make things easier
Okai
So heres the plan
Either i send the card via postal
I wait till next next week, and get it with the hormone blockers
Like its a needle in my tummy, that will be fun ~
Like its actually good, like from a qualitative standpoint, the doc is good
I am just a massive brat about this stuff
Bc like if i weren’t, i wouldn’t be there for treatment in the first place
Like kinda obvious, with the leading theory beeing, yeah i am such a brat about it bc i am in pain, disphoria
I am just a bit of a special case bc i have quite some skills which i am not shy to use
Or i go there before, like i was thinking about taking the train, but my dad offered the car,
Like i should go there to give my therapist the card also
Like first plan was, going back the same day with the card and handling things, which i told him, but the car with the card was not there when i came back, so i just went to sleep ~
So like, i will ask my therapist how urgent that is
And either wait 2 weeks
Or do it in the near future manually
Like
I get the moral argument
But also
You dont like me giving out info, bc someone might make a decision you didnt sign up on?
That seems infantalizing
Like they are too stupid, and the info will corrupt them, necessarily
So you as the brave hero need to limit their humanity and not allow them even getting all possible choices they have
Bc they will not act like you prefer?
Like giving ppl the info and letting them decide themselves seems more reasonable in my view, than limiting someones decision making before they even got all the info
On THEIR choice
Like you can argue it both ways
But like ppl will not trust ppl with their choices, so ppl will not tell them when they make that choice
Like prohibition is not a concept which ever worked with anything
However, i do not care to argue that, just as a footnote
Like i should fix that before i start building bombs, but within reasonable economic spending and social courtesy
Like thats just not outrageous to me anymore, thats Thursday
Like maybe that instability is just low social order ranking, bc no skills, lets add some
Nah, still unstable, but quite more dangerous now, cool
Like it was quite a mistery before i went
Lol transgender is pattern matching, didnt expect that
Like i just axed everything, thats definitely where i am burning all those resources ~
Like the reactions beeing bigger than necessary is something i noted before
Like seems reasonable i fix that~
Btw
Like i am sitting on my own website here
Bc like i would be banned everywhere else for doing stuff like telling ppl to kill themselves and giving clear instructions
Like i was banned everywhere else:p
Like i am getting censored everywhere else for doing what i do
Like i will still
Be a brat for like the next week~
Like
I am just gonna look at memes and draw cute stuff
And like get weed or something
I am slowly integrating smoking again
I cant smoke a whole cigarette yet without feeling sick but i am getting there^~^
Btw
This stuff is nothing new
I am sure everyone remembers the last time a artist got really mad in Germany
Especially the polish:p
Like i got a massive structure to vent about stuff but
Like its not a new pattern ~
The mysticism, the loaded language, the ability to completely ignore morality
The appeal to globalism
Like they were nationalists, but the goal was globalism
Like seems familiar
Btw like
That was not only a emotional snap back
, like that whole green energy save the planet stuff
Those were like 12 ppl who started that
Like most ppl dont do that much in their life ~
Like at that ratio of a planet to 12 ppl
Like 1 person not doing anything become a different game
Idk
I have kinda lost motivation to not smoke
The thing is
I am inherently good natured
Like thats sounds great, but like you cant build weapons of mass destruction without feeling a tiny bit guilty ~
So like i am not doing that,
Like selling lsd is my grey market vacation job
Like the bigger something is the bigger a shadow it casts
And i am already getting lost in myself
Like i said, i panic if i see everything thats possible, bc stuffs scary~
So like lets survive the days till i get my hormones without smoking
If i get them i am happy
Idk if not, fate will rule
Like they have really lost their novelty ~
Welp, i will just build that loss into the substructure of society and let it break a new generation ^~^
And their kids, and their kids..
Lets hope i get them this time^~^
And can chill on my blanket and be girl without issues
Like i cant get anything which makes me happy, such a shame~
Like at least ppl can fix their social issues alone now while i watch with popcorn ^~^
Like if you are smart, ppl will demand you do stuff, bc you can, but i got a perfect out now to not do shit about shit
Like going by the data, iq is quite a good indicator of wealth, like better than familiar wealth
So at some point, i can probably just chill with the money and watch ppl fix their own stuff, although i easily could
Like you made it hard to get my hormones, fix your oppressive and corrupt Gouverment on your own
Like i take what makes me happy, but i also accept other ppls suffering for my amusement, if thats what they wanna trade
Like i am trying to be a good girl~
But the amount of compassion i put in is still being decided
Like i am not getting less skilled ~
But like what do i care~
Its non of my regard anymore ^~^
Ill make origami swans or something while i watch the world burn silly~
Like the worst thing for society, looking at smart ppl, is when they do nothing
Like there is a small portion of ppl doing a lot, so if they don’t do that much, like your falling apart culture is kinda in trouble
So like if ppl are bad to you, like just stop what you’re doing
And leave them be, they’ll figure it out in 500 more years~
Yeah
Probably was my fault for forgetting the card, like i couldn’t get it bc the car wasn’t there
But like still rude as hell to tear it apart in front of my eyes
Like those pupils were to stable for amphetamines, and his hand too steady for a large dose, also wasnt sweating
Like i noticed that last time but had no reason to mention it
But like thats not normal brain function, especially the emotional perception
I would say not a opioid

Still like, all project are gone forever, someone else do it
Also no pressure on moving, things will fall as they do, what do i care
Watch “I Was” on YouTube
These cigarettes really make me wanna puke
Watch “Incessant” on YouTube
Watch “Precursor (Mefjus Remix)” on YouTube
Oki, feel better now

Considering not smoking, but ill smoke now then shower
But i lost all respect for doctors
Like the drugs in your pupils dont excuse behavior
I should really end that profession if i get the opportunity
Like they certainly don’t make as much as they used to, but i can frame it as such
Like becoming a doctor is not as useful as it was
No further comment
Watch “Void Main Void (Original Mix)” on YouTube
Watch “Unhinged” on YouTube
Watch “Bloom” on YouTube
Watch “Alarm” on YouTube
Watch “Push It To The Limit” on YouTube
Watch “Crowbar” on YouTube
Watch “CURSE” on YouTube
Okai
I feel better

I need to make sure to remember the name of that doctor
Still like u ppl not getting shit, i will avoid doing anything for this society and actively support anyone trying to destroy it
I hope your newborns bleed to death
And your crop rots
I promise
Watch “B-SIDE U 2017 VOL. 1 [ALBUM STREAM]” on YouTube
Watch “[ALBUM STREAM] JAQL – Retourne” on YouTube
Watch “[ALBUM STREAM] Azrael-II – D.O.S. (Deadly Operating System)” on YouTube
I am gonna draw
A bit and see if i get better
Watch “your boyfriend’s corpse (slowed)” on YouTube
Watch “Jackal Queenston – The Killer’s Notebook” on YouTube
Watch “PSYCHOGENESIS” on YouTube
How to kill yourself
A comprehensive guide
You should avoid guns,
The issue is that you may shoot yourself and be dead for a hour an then wake up again
Same with medicine
The chances of you beeing reanimated are pretty good so you should avoid that, and make sure what you take is actually deadly
My mum had that issue where she tried with pills but got actually baught back
Make sure no one is expecting or checking on you, bc that may get ppl to find you before you are dead
Hanging is a bad option, the same as drowning, its the most painful way, but if you are looking for painful thats exactly it
In the range of most effective we have trains, they can only stop after multiple km, so they will tear you apart
In terms of medicine, fentanyl is the way to go, best mixed with heroin
Plan things well, leave no signs of something beeing odd or letters
Do it in a way where you cant back out anymore
If you have the skills extract cyanide
Sitting in the car and dying is not possible anymore, they put filters in so you cant do that
A alternative is chlorine gas which is simply made via bleach
If you prefer blowing yourself up i suggest the stuff the nazis used in the ww
Its a 3 component mixture, raises no suspension, is easily made and fits neatly into a pipe bomb
I think the raf used it too
Napalm needs huge quantitys but is also easily made
I will hold back on nuclear weapons for now
Best of luck
https://www.epa.gov/hw-sw846/sw-846-test-method-9013a-cyanide-extraction-procedure-solids-and-oils
Do a normal extract with napta and separate into organic phase and inorganic phase
Transfer the compound into a base and recrystalize
Watch “Luna” on YouTube
Watch “guccihighwaters – way out of my head” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS- FIVE O FIVE” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS – Moonman (feat. Swaine) prod. Syndrome” on YouTube
You ppl realize
That all the doors you open in life close 1000 you didn’t take
Like possibility is deminishing with every concious second and decision
Most of your goals are simply fairy tales you will never see or reach bc they dont exist
They were exaturated to get you there but are not there in actuality
From kids, your job, or whatever new thing you just baught
You were sold and trained into a game from the beginning
And you will forever be stuck in it
Your faith never your own to begin with
And none of what you were promised you will ever see.
I strongly recommend to kill yourself if you have the opportunity and conviction
You will not miss anything
Your loved ones will care, but its not like you are experiencing it anyways, thats a fools argument
I got the card
It was exactly where i suspected it to be
I was driving with my dads other car, bc my sis had this one
When going to the cryo ppl, it got lost between the seat
Like i suspected that since this morning
But like who cares
This morning this would have been exiting
I try to smoke another cigarette now
Lets get some alcohol tomorrow
God those cigarettes taste like shit
It will take some time before i get used to them again
I took 3 drags threw it away and almost puked
I will have to train that in slowly again
Why do I even
Get excited about anything
The hormones will be as overrated as everything else
I get them as everything else, just another annoying burocratic thing, no one cares about
Like who cares about beeing a girl, i shouldn’t get exited anymore about anything
I will just get them, bc the course is good, and i dont want to be stuck wich these guys here forever
I’ll disassemble the rest of the website
Like i was exited the first time i wanted them, now it’s just another thing
I wont get to save the money bc ppl will ask for money soon, so i just get weed, dont do anything
Wait till i get the hormones, start smoking again after i get them
And pray that i die soon
Ill not do the meme videos, like who cares
Ill slowly take everything offline
And forget i was ever excited about this
Sleep and be high, like i originally planned
Like i am not gonna ask my dad for the car to get there anymore, ill take the train, and tey have to deal with whatever time i show up
Like i have lost interest
Like getting weed would have been useless if i was not smoking tabacco, but like if i am trying to kill myself, thats fine
Also, i can not do all those doc checkups i planned
Like i could have easily stop smoking rn
But i wont, i will deliberately smoke now to keep the habbit and kill myself more efficiently
Thing is like
Everything here was cleaned up, there is no card to be found here
Like i had it with the cryo ppl
I am just gonna sleep a bit
Cigarettes taste like
Shit
Obviously i won’t
Do any of that
Its a joke, i am just mad
It was not meant seriously at all
It’s all artistic marketing
🙂
Watch “Sigala – Easy Love “Fresh Kiwi Remix”【Electronic】” on YouTube
Watch “Pathfinder” on YouTube
Watch “t0m5d1n3r” on YouTube
Also, dont worry
If i decide to go to india, i am gonna maybe play with the idea to drop the blueprints on how to build a nuclear weapon and some print files for guns first and then vanish, in a dream^~^
Like enriching uranium is not that hard, in theory ~
But like ill give it a week or so to think over^~^
Lets make some silly meme videos^~^
Watch “Yung Innanet – 802.11 – mix1/unreleased” on YouTube
Watch “Daxbak – Playground” on YouTube
Watch “s0cliché – Cryptocurrency [Lyrics x AMV]” on YouTube
Watch “unbound” on YouTube
The question is
How emotionally disappointed am i
Like i wanted to go to india, look at the stars and not smuggle some gold
And not get some sasaphras oil
Salesfox is in the minus i am sure he has nothing better to do
But there is no hurry, ill think about it first
Watch “postman (feat. ytcracker)” on YouTube
Watch “Goodbye” on YouTube
Watch “PiNKII – Kirby Killz” on YouTube
Watch “Solaria / Aura [Original Song]” on YouTube
Like the doc was mean
He ripped up the note to get it, in front of my eyes
So i rip up all my projects which could benefit the greater good
I’ll get the hormones later, like someone else build that stuff

Like i could also just had my card with me~
Okai,
You ppl ain’t getting shit
I will do nothing but getting high, and looking at memes
I am sure you got your social stuff in order
All projects are canceled
Cya xoxo
I am home again, lets get some cigarettes and order some weed
Okai, that was useless
They can’t get me the hormones without the card
Lets get some cigarettes and go home
So i was late
They noted my appointment at 8 like on the paper they gave me but like
The actual appointment is at 11:30 so they anticipated me beeing late
Wrote 8, and put 11 in their system :p
Like good work
But like reception girl was confused
The system says 11:30 your paper we wrote says 8 and its 9

After that i will have to get to my therapist visit at 10, its 9,30 rn:p
And i forgot mycard~
And still, all i want is
A bit more sleep
Btw that stargate remake will be dope
Like
Its one of these things i cant reffeerence
The best way i can describe it is, i can write things clearly and understandable
Its like its refferencing a infinity which is a o point
Like i am able to, but it doesn’t exist
There is nothing to speak of
Its like it never happened
But i remember it happened, but there is no proof of any sort
Like i wrote it before
Like nahnah, i am quite aware of the little confusing moments of beeing lost on the moment, like those are the actual living
And i am making sure i am actually properly in those
Like i am rewriting, i feel like
Like i am aware to a frightening level
🌑w🌑
So like i make sure I get a good story, else i panic bc its too much
Ahhh,
I am nervous
Like i dk
Like i am around in the scary territory but i never got the beeing a scary person part
Like i hurt you while looking silly ~
Like my ex was holding my hand at the dentist ~
Like i am much little ~
Like i am around in those places, but like i put myself on a blanket, bc i understand, like i belong on the blanket
Like as long as someone pets me, i dont care about drugs or money
Like nono, i dont try to be in that territory, i just always somehow end up there~
Bc everything fun is illegal nowadays
Like all you can do is sit and play games
Drinking has everything heavily guarded and fenced off
Everything about cars is illegal
The dating market is heavily off balance
Jobs dont pay in relation bc inflation
Everyone is going where the weed at, bc thats still something to do
Children look shit with the housing market rn
Only good amount of young ppl to do anything is in the city’s
All shops are closing
So like i just end up there, but like
Me small fox, like since always, and like i think never claimed differently
Like i am a brat, but not big
Like there no insentives to do like anything
Besides getting high and or breaking laws
Like i feel like as a girl, beeing vulnerable is a lot easier and socially accepted
So like thats good, still scared and nervous ~
Like besides making and consuming art or media
Like its probably me, bc i really thrive on variety, like environments with diversity are great for me
I will try to sleep~
Like at some point the dentist girls just separated us
Like they realized quite quickly, like i can take some pain without much issue
But like, still want to hold pawb~
Watch “PinocchioP – Love for Love by Love of Love feat. Hatsune Miku” on YouTube
Watch “flos/R Sound Design feat.初音ミク” on YouTube
Watch “Radikal Guru – Earthwalker” on YouTube
Watch “Joshi Mizu – MDMA // prod. by KD-Supier & Stereoids (16BARS.TV PREMIERE)” on YouTube
Watch “Joshi Mizu – MDMA // prod. by KD-Supier & Stereoids (16BARS.TV PREMIERE)” on YouTube
Watch “NOAH23 – WOLF ANGEL (DJ COUTZ)” on YouTube
Watch “Shinigami – Gem Stones” on YouTube
Watch “Bugus – Free Bird (Prod. Russ)” on YouTube
Watch “HALLEY RESOURCE CENTER [samples, tracker files, etc]” on YouTube
Watch “FRUCHTMAX – MDMA” on YouTube
Watch “Marble/R Sound Design feat.初音ミク” on YouTube
Watch “神曲/R Sound Design feat. 初音ミク-Dante” on YouTube
Watch “sewerperson – ooo •lyrics below” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS – calamari” on YouTube
Watch “guardin – the viper (prod. by tra$h)” on YouTube
Watch “Prezident – Flaschenöffner (Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Prezident – Bleib bloß bei Bewusstsein (Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Prezident – Menschenpyramiden (DynamicCut Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Philipp Dittberner – In Deiner Kleinen Welt (Marv Edit) [Official Lyric Video]” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS – stay around” on YouTube
Watch “Kishi Bashi – Violin Tsunami (Official Video)” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – Worried Sick (Full Album)” on YouTube
Watch “WOLFE – Through With You” on YouTube
Watch “sewerperson – thunderstom” on YouTube
Watch “sewerperson – creeks in the floor (lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “Rosalba – Shinigami (Prod. Moji)” on YouTube
Watch “[Future Bass] V A L E N T I N E – Dream Cream” on YouTube
Watch “HALLEY HARD SOUND UNIT – EGO GAMIFICATION” on YouTube
Watch “BLiSS – My LSD Song” on YouTube
Watch “The Front Bottoms: Tie Dye Dragon [OFFICIAL VIDEO]” on YouTube
Watch “sewerperson – cruel world (lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “flowars – bloodsucker (ft. guardin)” on YouTube
Watch “Thomas Pyrin – Dubios” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – drink 182” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS – i need nothing (lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “Fabian Mazur & Snavs – Arena [Trap]” on YouTube
Watch “Frequencerz – The Unknown (Bass Boosted)(HD)” on YouTube
Watch “9TAILS – Some missed calls” on YouTube
Watch “9tails ~ rest [prod. karma rhythm] (visuals)” on YouTube
Watch “Jarreau Vandal & Ashnikko – Break my back” on YouTube
Watch “Crywank – Privately Owned Spiral Galaxy Lyrics” on YouTube
Watch “Crywank – Song for a Guilty Sadist” on YouTube
Watch “xanny” on YouTube
Watch “Sass Pancakes” on YouTube
Watch “Thrust” on YouTube
Watch “Deorro x MAKJ x Max Styler – Bring It Back (Bass Boosted)(HD)” on YouTube
Watch “Terence Mckenna – Art’s Task Is To Save The Soul Of Mankind” on YouTube
Watch “lil peep x lil tracy x the pixies – where is my wine (Yuri Beats Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Bones – TimeFliesWhenYoureHavingFun (Prod. The Virus and Antidote)” on YouTube
Watch “Night Lovell – Trees Of The Valley” on YouTube
By my calculations everything
Should be on plan to give me 3 months of rent by my planned date
I bet it will be 1 months of rent
Just bc random ppl come and want money
I bet you 100% i will be stuck here forever
Like i am not moving rn, i am just chilling and working
Watch random ppl ask for hundrets
Like i bet you
Like when i move, i am just not gonna set up a mailbox
I have no one who should be sending me letters
Like no, i dont know u, let all the mail go back to sender
Its the next 3-4 months, i bet you, like multiple ppl
Like at that point i will seriously question why i am even working
Lets see if i still feel the need to destroy things by then ^~^
Maybe i just go get the money insted of complaining
We’ll see^~^ quite curious
Like u know these carpet cleaning things, like the wood hitting things
I should just get one of those and hit everyone coming close to my door with any mail
Like f a dog, get a tiger and a auto aimed paintball gun
Like maybe those dont work so well together ~
Like ill get 1 of those landmine signs
I hope i saved the image
Like i did that video standing in that minefield in my fursuit while traveling
Which channel did i post that on? ~
Watch “Proxy (Original Mix)” on YouTube
Watch “Sanctum” on YouTube
Watch “We FINALLY Figured Out The Secret of Roman Concrete” on YouTube
Btw
Looking at the actual studies, assuming their integrity
Most ppl going into this trans stuff are quite happy how things go
Like a lot of those doing nothing just die
Like idk they somehow have a high mortality rate
So by the numbers alone i should be on the right path, but like, i believe it when i see it
Like the alternative to the transgender stuff is just a lot of kids randomly dying
Like idk they do that for some reason
Like u put a person in pain, like at some point they just gonna kill themselves
Like its not that surprising ~
Like idk its not really news, seems obvious
Watch “Solana Storefront with Solana Pay” on YouTube
Not smoking is still boring
I need to
First finish my first project
Which is bejond.acid
Bc if that is done, i cam put the other projects on there
Put what i have therexand let ppl build out social security, or whatever they prefer
Even if i get distracted again
My mouth tissue
Is regrowing, and i can smell
Let me also add
Blockchain health insurance
Like most of these insurances are putting money back for later
We don’t need a big company asking fees for that
Like Germany has a lot state added, but also you are forced to have it
Like we shouldnt erase all of it
But i think we can do away with a big part
I need to write a core insurance chain
Vlbtw
I have been there
Idk how, and idk where
But that place exists
I was in the unfeasible
Like i think back and i could not tell you where and when
But i will swear on my life it exists
Like iwas in that place, but it somehow doesn’t exist
Like you could never convince me of business as usual
Bc i was standing in it
Terra incognita
Like i have multiple memories of things related to it
But as soon as i try to describe any, language becomes sand
Its the weirdest thing, a place too odd to even to exist in a dream
But somehow the true source of whats feasible
And tomorrow ill forget it for the next 10 years again, without a trace of its existence
Like its not a idea, it’s a place i was standing in
A free space in the hedge maze of reality
How are you ppl alive
Without drugs
Like the next best thing is sex and good food
Sex is meh without drugs
Good food/ingredients are hard to get
Everything is expensive rn
Also like i kill my sex drive soon
The best thing i could do is drawing, reading or writing
Like i hope i never retire, sounds sisyphean
I am quite curious what moody means for me
I am in general already quite a cunt
So cigarette moody and hormones will be the same day, that will be interesting^~^
Like there is ppl
Detransitionig
But thats usually bc ppl run temporarily out of money
Like its really unhealthy bc it shreds your hormonal system
Like most ppl either vibe or dont vibe
Like i am not sure if transgender, or just my general delusion and foreward inertia
Like thats a common symptom, like that doubt is know
I should stop setting goals and just be living
I am nervous
About the hormone thing
Bc normal guys will not like those
If i get them and tey dont okai
Then thats quite a clear
No thats not working
Not smoking is so boring ~
Like
Its working, but i need a Bluetooth keyboard
Like the cables are odd
And like put it with a picture frame on the wall
Like i wired it up to the smart home laptop, bc i can run media on that
But like its missing the vibe it should have
Like it works, but is still clumsy ~

Okai
My oxygen and blood pressure should be normal again
Tomorrow taste and smell should have recovered quite a bit
The day after, there should be no nicotine left in my body, so i might be a bit moody bc of the withdrawal ~
J
My manager
Told me whatever i was doing last time, it was working, the statistics were great
But i have no clue what i did:p
Its certainly a good sign^~^
Watch “Tribal Behaviour” on YouTube
Watch “Bass So Loud.” on YouTube
Watch “Push It To The Limit” on YouTube
Watch “Grim Salvo x Witchouse 40k – BLACK RAINBOW” on YouTube
Watch “4lung – HOSPITAL VACATION” on YouTube
I am so bored
I just did my burocracy
Like not smoking, things suddenly get really easy and thats exactly the issue
Like what am i gonna do with all this time~
The apartment will soon be spottless again, what then~
Watch “DELIRIUM – レイビング” on YouTube
Wow, energys taste
Like shit without smoking
Watch “Freddie Dredd – Before I – unreleased (extended)” on YouTube
Watch “SUP3R FRICKING GLITTER hazard!!! (feat. F0R7UN3, AmeliaTheSharmi & cyro)” on YouTube
Watch “super glitter RAVE PARTY!!!” on YouTube
H
My skin is slowly
Getting better, like a bit not that noticable, but doing something
Like from n smoking
Great
Now i am tripped up if the money will be enaugh this month for the tax ppl,
Like it should by all means
But i am ichy bc it happened before
Not smoking is such a drag,
I have so much time again ~
Colors are slowly adjusting from greyed out to normal again
Oh, and eating is also in that cluster, bc smokers, smoke after eating ~
So i need to digest normally, without amplifier ~
And like if you also smoking weed, like the weed pattern will reignite the tabacco too
When does smell come back? Like 2 days or something, and taste 5? Idk something like that ~
I think 2-4 days was also where oxygen comes back into your bloodstream
Oh
Market is slowly getting saturated


Nah, thats the same person ~
There are discord and telegram channels to sell in too

H
Hoting from Unexpected
J
So lets move
Chill a bit
Find a girl who wants to travel
Have some kids
Idk then ill slowly die watching vr porn or something
Btw like
Nono, did no one read finigans wake
Thinking is quite mercurial
Linear time progressed by comic strips is fiction
You can hold quite contradicting ideals and thinking patterns in the same psyche
I emptied out my
Tabacco plate
Like i have trays to roll on, but i was just using a plate, to keep tabacco from getting everywhere
Emptied out the ashtray
Put away the filters, like they are red, they are made to trigger impuls
So like, i need to make sure my teeth a properly brushed, my hand are washed and i shower
Clean everything where any tabacco could be laying arround
Eat the pizza i am making
And make sure everything smells good and is cleaned up
Bc like i am quite sensitive to smell when i dont smoke
Like the final nail on the cross will be moving, bc patterns are bound to environment
Did i mention that getting a apartment is far easier if you dont smoke
Like there are co addiction triggers
Like if you smoke and drink energys
And you dont smoke, but drink a energy, you wanna smoke
Same with driving, like when u smoke while driving, you will wanna smoke when driving
Like its not 1 addiction, its a array cluster of triggers
Like i smoked inside for some time
But currently the 2 main rooms i dont smoke in, and like the entry, i open the door and smoke, just bc its snowing outside and its cold
So like i need to air that out, put some in scents there
Like hose horrible smoking sticks
To bind all bad spirits
So, bout 3 months
And i should have achieved everything i wanted
Pleasantly ^~^
Then i declare insanity
And see what i do from there^~^
Okai,
I am taking a break
I wanna
Make a song where i double time sumerian
I feel
Foolish again
Thats a good place to be
Watch “Globalization is About to Collapse. Here’s Why” on YouTube
I feel like
I didnt speak something when i had the oppertunity to, i will just assume understanding
Like that
Decentralized graveyard thing
That would pull the banks unconscious drive which they are selling on, and quite some other systems
Like you shouldnt target that with that moral range, but it would certainly be a side effect
So like lets first setup the remaining infrastructure ~
Watch “HYPERKILLER” on YouTube
Watch “Luv U Forever! (Kittydog Parts Only)” on YouTube
Yeah
This seems purposeful, i am slowly emptying out my stashes of tabacco
Like usually you would be happy if you find some
But like i am emptying the cash registers before i quit
So like, i know there is none left, and that search impuls has no use
Like i am using the search impuls to actually empty them out bc i will dig for tabacco if i know i am allowed but dont have
Like its the most effective way to do it, and then if i know there is no tabacco to be found, i just arrange with that existence
Bc like i know there is none left, and i dont need to search, i am not allowed to buy,
Like that search impuls is actually the main spirit
Nah,
That is not taking credit cards for validation
, its Sunday and no store is open
I dont think my stepmum is even home
So i need the actual bank card not the credit card
Like i haven’t seen that in ages
Wait, i was send a new card by some account, like i should have at least 2 valid cards in theory
Like i feel like i am doing this on purpose, like letting myself run out of cigarettes
Like to get a taste or something
*curses in social abrahamic low level*
Thy
Okai
I found my card, lets see if it works
I wanna use that word but do not revoke what i said
Ppl will just follow anything
Like to answer the public question
My gender is not really confusing me, as is the metaphysical paradoxicallity of existence, which is, i am, confused about.
so actually yes i am confused about my gender, but not in a way where i would let thy feathered key for good behavior sticking in thy rusted cultural ignition, till I get what i came for
Which is thy journey itself
Thy.
Btw i am still
Marveling at the European first born son ethos
Like it was fun
I am curious for the next chapter
I need to remember
I actually have a product i have to set
Like the pricing dynamics based one
Like i will just serialize and increase by 10000 a year
Like that will not sell, but i still want it for me as a price meter
Yeah, thats actually exactly what it is
I am relaying my pricing into a product
Wait am i trying to sell a concept?
Thank god we live in the age we do
But like its my personal refferencing point
So like i should put that in
And also at the same time sell it to others, somehow
How is that Egyptian pointed stick thingy, like long massiv stone pillar with a pointed tip and sharp edges
Like they had that outside
Like was that a obelisk, or was it the representation or something
Like ill call it that
Like i have seen my card yesterday, i cant seem to find it~
Watch “JUST ONE MORE SLEEP (Instrumental)” on YouTube
Watch “itz okay 2 not be okay (Instrumental)” on YouTube
Watch “yea ok” on YouTube
Watch “EVACUATE THE SPACESHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!” on YouTube
Watch “the second half of this unfinished song has a lot of breaks i swear” on YouTube
Watch “violence caused by video games” on YouTube
Like i had this before
This feeling where you take acid and you feel like you just got up, were snowed in and snow is flying from your fur as you get up again
Like this feeling of shaking powdered snow out of your fur mixed with electricity
Love that
Lol
China has destroyed the western class system by cheap fabric
Holy, those nation level punsDd
Like where is that dipole actually moving rn
Like the communism capitalism dualism, but on its side, as a dipole
Adjusted by time, visualized as contrarian vortexes
Like i need to get myself a map or something ~
And some cigarettes ~
Watch “counting down” on YouTube
Watch “80S FURRY” on YouTube
Watch “better off alone” on YouTube
Watch “HYPERKILLER” on YouTube
What have you done
Watch “beach” on YouTube
I am too much working
And not randomly selling lsd, but like ill see after i move
Like i would just need to make some art
Like i am a artist, my eternal gas fees are 1 art per powder snow galaxy.
Like i wish i was selling drugs
Like tomorrow will be yesterday
Watch “cease to be” on YouTube
Neko, great folder naming
Watch “your boyfriend’s corpse (slowed)” on YouTube
Watch “implausible” on YouTube
I think
My kinda madness is chronic :p
Like i hope it gets better for my sake
Like i think i awoke from a dream where i slept with finest feathers
I like that
I learned
Something really important today
The contact field is actually the most important one on a website, especially mine, which leads nowhere like the accounts are registered with the hoster, but they dont lead to any mail reader
Like i am getting to a point where i should probably actually have a way for ppl to contact me
Like i have no socials ppl could reach me by~
Like is discord still furry territory? Or ar they slowly dying yet
Like i would like something like mastadon, but i have to set up a server, actually like lemme use fedi for com
Like what i am saying
Connection is the focus in a node network
So the connection field is actually quite important
*steps over cables*
Bc it allows ppl to talk to you
But obviously quality is also important
Like if you can get it decentralized and open source, thats great
I will be using fedi, mainly for that, and it beeing businesses and coders just chilling, not much public attention
Like i need to be save, but i will still put my business under a linguistic paradox, just in case
The same way, i dont need to go that backhand with com, but i will still do just in case~
Like it has the chill vibe i prefer, like Twitter is hyper, i dont want ppl contacting me there for anything regarding money
Actually, lets invest a token of faith
Heres my Twitter

Like maybe he can actually make it something cool
Like tokenize the ui on the screen
Like twitter is quick short news like notifications, but no one reads those anymore bc they so crouded
So like a ui seamlessly integrating over other apps, so like i have twitter on active standby while i do something on fedi
Like call it twitter feathers and ppl will get it
Like there are certainly cool possibilities
Like i see permission issues with android, but i am sure there is some way
However, ill be setting up fedi again
Like with the graveyard
Nono, the church put that in and marketet that
We can do the same again for blockchain, and actually distribute it as a public service
Like
Actually lemme sleep a bit and then ask my stepmum if she has a card, or like i actually find mine
We should be perfectly able to reframe death, as the church did for this new industrial revolution
I have come to terms with not getting cigarettes
Like i will smoke the rest of my tabacco, and then, like i guess just draw a bit
And like isnt it funny to see that contrast in context
Aaa
None of the cards are working
Like i want cigarettes like i am still allowed
This is not a good method of storing anything

Like i am looking for my card, bc you need to verify you are 18, was like that since i was under 18, but i still am not a cigarette smoker
Like i got 3 cards, lets see if 1 of those validates
Like those are all long dead accounts and idk how credit cards count for that cigarette thing, if they work to validate your 18
Btw girls i hate your social rules bc they make perfect sense
They are completely reasonable and i understand their purpose
Like if i didnt know i was transgender, that would be a revelation or confusion
But i now understand why that appeal to authority, i have been using on ppl is so effective
Like holy what tools have i been wielding on ppl~
Like nah i didnt care about the structure, made no sense
But like as a girl, i hate to admit it, but like i get it
I will still ignore it
Awww
I set my table up with a 5eur note
Like unconscious
Like i knew i would run out of tabacco or something bc these all have different routines of spending
Like the papes, the tips etc those are all subroutines
And they are asynchronous, like by design probably, like no question actually really
So like i knew i would probably just buy cigarettes anyways and like to break my spending patterns
And i put myself 5 on the table thinking in my naive childish wholesome thinking
Holy cigarettes
5 would be enaugh for cigarettes
Like i have the association to the note and it makes me feel really old
Like a have been smoking tabacco, always, bc i was always high, like cigarettes mix so oddly with weed, too much sugar
I was just gonna comment on how cute i was thinking 5 would be sufficient
Like i was thinking of myself, and beeing nice to myself
Oh yeah i remember thats how you actually get shit sorted in your life
Like its just beeing nice to yourself
Like treat yourself as a person you really care for
But like in practice, i am not talking vague ideology, like practically beeing nice to yourself
Like you will see things come arround again to yourself later
Like literally like with the 5 i put for cigarettes, like be literally nice to yourself in action
Like u know yourself, so no games
Now thats a provoking edge
Like u know yourself, so no games
I removed the title, but!!!!!
Like i was thinking what if i actually embrace family history
I might have found a good use for nfts
A public blockchain graveyard
Like it makes perfect sense
Bc transactions are validated by the whole network
So if someone died, and lets say you wanna add a block to memorialize them
thats actually a great metaphor of it beeing accepted by the whole
As you display the node validations increasing
Like it costs us nothing to keep it up, however that works, like someone please explain that to me please i dont understand
Like no one thaught about it bc no one is making money from it
But like i think that could actually have some real value to ppl if done right
Like it still needs a good name which doesnt have the grim imagistic language associated with it
Like someone dying is 1 thing, but thats a vibe
Like lets actually help ppl with what we understand now
Like whatever that is, i havent researched that
Like u see why its so important that i speak whatever is on my mind
Bc in those topics, such information is quite critical to make apartment where i may be lacking
Bc the value of what i have may be far greater than what i can make,
but its crucial to have it proposed in this form exactly for that reason
Like that works with the usual blockchain marketing and it works global
Its a great idea
We just need to make it
The sexual is perverse
U know
I could probably make some really interesting logical reasonings on a grand scale
But i had 1 moment
Where i was making music and i felt genuine emotion
Like thats something i am capable of, i was moved
Like if the hormones do exactly that
Like yes that actually sounds like what i am looking for
And i have seen ppl go with that psychedelic undertone, yes its that
Like you are using subconscious signaling, you beeing able to do that, means that you are probably smart enaugh to understand what your doing
And you have tested it
Like psychedelic signaling is really hard to misinterpret, but also, whait you assumed my question before i posed it
Psychedelic means, you are the environment
You are not moving in a environment, you are the environment
Like this weirdly goes over how reality works
Like i hope it is, bc i could make some great art
Cat

Like i will miss smoking so much
Like girls see me rolling joints and they know
Like guys are often not that perceptive on small things, but like girls will see that,
like i had someone comment on it out loud, but keeping it in the linguistics deepspace obviously
Like for girls thats the you know but you dont say thing
Like refferencing to the general understanding
Oh right
I was actually doing interesting things
Before i got lost in this small town mindset again
Like i need to move
Sell some lsd
Like yeah, i have actually been setting myself on a good path, i am happy
Like i want to be stable and selling lsd
My phone is a absurd device
And i am a absurd creature
I am happy
This looks good


Btw someone better save my stuff, bc i am deleting old images to have enaugh space to post new ones
Like that will be really cool with the smart home stuff
Like the kitchen is chaos rn, like its clean, but chaos
Like i cant have anything icky arround with the wound
Like i have a bad habit of forgetting the sink, bc its in the corner of the room
Like good design decisions will make and break a room
But like things are standard clean
Like there was something about iq and disgusting sensitivity beeing related
What i am saying is
I made 1 room really pretty and now the other looks bad~
Like its fine by my standards
Did i mention, now that i think about it, i have been wondering about my reflexes previously
Like i have wondered about that without a frame of sorts
Years ago
And connecting that to that study now, of iq beeing related down to reflexes
Like i wondered about it years ago, randomly, and like i had the explanation, but didnt realize
Like i have gotten so big over the years, as a linguistic reference point
Its self refferencing my internal space, thats why its confusing
I would mark it but i have no picture space, like i need to delete some products
Like if i scoth
At something ppl get really hurt
Like i was probably not even thinking about it and just had a spontaneous reaction
Like if i declare something bad, i might be speaking with thousands of years of weight and the understanding of multiple traditions
And everyone in the room probably knows it
So like i need to be good to ppl, or i might really do some damage
Like there are ppl who are known or respected
But often times them beeing known is quite closely associated with them making money
Like if i were to sell courses on how to do stuff
Actually, i should write that book
Like its some sort of public persona for the purpose of selling something
Like idk i am just bad at selling or something ~
I just decided to do a public diary, and attach whatever i am currently doing to that
Bc at the end i could never pretend to be something else
And i think anything else but the full mess life is would be not doing it justice
So me beeing that person and declaring something bad, has more weight than i can probably comprehend
So like i hope the hormones set that right
Like i am kinda running out of options
Bc i am turning arround with the scales carrying this culture, like artist do
Like thats what this shamanic tradition furry stuff really means
We are the people other people actually follow around just bc we are the full extent of what we are
Like we made it a token gesture of getting famous and getting followers, but what we actually mean to figure out is the ppl with the natural gravity
Like i am hiding in the category of artist, and its already the widest definition i could find
Like as a kid i was crying a lot and there was a phrase i used repeatedly
Why me
Like i understood the full extent of what my existence means from the beginning
But i guess the pain differentiates from beeing dead
Like i still hope i am mistaken, like i cant seem to flee my fate
Like i tried and i am
Like i have read the least known books, and still, all i seem to find is more certainty in what i dont want to believe
That everyone is infinitely complex
And that somehow among those idk i am somet.. Ing
Like for some reason that personality trade is quite noticeable and ppl follow it arround
Like it will manifest in everything your doing
Peterson described it as
Creative ppl are like fruit trees bearing fruit,
they cant help it
Like for some reason we are the ppl who carry such scales of brilliance with such low hanging heads
Like ppl will follow you, and you better make sure that you have good things for them
Bc you seem to have answers
Like draw a pretty picture giving hope

Like doesnt have to be good
Just make it honest
Watch “Bassnectar & Hailo – Irresistible Force ◈ [Reflective Part 4]” on YouTube
Like
At this point, i carry some weight, bc ppl know the website exists,
And like even without that
Like ppl respect me to a certain degree
Like if i hit them with something like ppl are so devistated
Like i am so happy i am fixing the trans stuff, bc if i keep beeing like this, like all i am gonna see is ppl beeing down
Like my actions are amplifyed by my public aura
Like i hope this works, bc i am hitting with quite some weight already
Like its not made better by my ability to actually formulate whats not spoken
Like my skills will only increase, me beeing publicly know also
Like i am actually sacred about it, bc like this better work
Like i am treating it like a checklist item
But like i am terrified
Like i have a bad history with not trusting what i want~
So like if this works, like there is hope
Else like, stack drugs till i die
Like if i can do everything, but only end up hurting ppl, like whats the point
Of beeing able to do everything
Watch “At Least” on YouTube
Watch “10 VERY Practical Home Automation Ideas for 2023!” on YouTube
Btw theres this idea of
Shouldn’t you treat everyone equally?
Like thats what was impregnated into us in the western democracies
Its called egalitarianism if i am not mistaken
Like yes everyone should be treated decently and civilized on a base level
But like obviously ppl are different
Like there would be no use in any conversation if everyone was the same
Like if you a experienced tennis player, like you can play with beginners, but obviously that person will not be equal in terms of skill
Like hierarchys of value exist
Like its very clear in decision making
Like if you are building a app for instance
Like you can go, oh i am like everyone i dont have to care ppl will be happy whatever happens, who knows
But like maybe you should make a executive decision and put things in a way where ppl dont have to use kyc
Bc you are not the standard user, you are making the thing
And with technology, you may be influencing quite a large amount of ppl with that decision
So like, not claiming that, when you should is actually more dangerous in my view
Like i am avoiding these responsibilities, but also i have to make decisions
Like if you go, i am just doing stuff, no one will use i anyways, and someone does,
Then you in trouble
Bc you underestimated the tool you made
And with blockchain, like you cant reverse your decisions or take it offline, if it exists, it exists
So like yes, ppl are the same, but lifes are vastly different
And like thats not a obvious border globally
Bc we living in a globalized world now, if you like it or not
Like what separates is language, but that will adjust
The
Wound is now healed enaugh so i can use wound creme

Likey issue
With it is that like
It shouldn’t overshoot like that
Like the reaction itself was good
But i shouldn’t have to be such a brat about it
Like something is not calibrated right there
And i think thats actually where i am burning all those recourses
Bc the reaction is unprofessional to what is actually happening
Like putting my paw on their head and pushing them down a bit should be enaugh, i dont need to have my claws all up in them
Like all those ppl teaching business by lifestyle on social media
Like they are not wrong, your business will inevitably be a mercurial mirror of you, if you are unstable your business is probably too
Bc like your business is probably you with small businesses
So thats a good idea to fix that
But like i am certainly not lacking in personality,
Like i need to fix that transgender stuff, or i will be constantly tripping over myself
Like you can do a lot of things quite inefficiently, but my projects tend to be quite ambitious in general
Bc what u doing needs to justify the pain of living
So like i need to fix that, then i can do stuff
Watch “Queue Tip” on YouTube
Watch “”QUIET HIRING” – THE “NEXT” DUMB JOB TREND | #quietquitting #quiethiring #gartner” on YouTube
Watch “Ask Adam Savage: Unlikely Career Advice That Was Actually Helpful” on YouTube
Watch “Grim Salvo – Contact Your Local Liquidator” on YouTube
Watch “Why Is TikTok Getting Banned…” on YouTube
Watch “The WEF’s New Plan For The Future: 15 Minute Cities!!” on YouTube
So
I pulled half of it out into xmr, now i wait for it to fall again, and then i put it in again, and hope for it to go up
So like pulling my profits out and a bit extra
If btc goes down, made my profit, if goes up, also good
If i throw in and get lucky again i can give my dad some gas money
Like it would be fine but gas is expensive, and he has been lending me the car for going to the trans docs, bc they far away and like you would have to like take a bus, and probably change trains and stuff~
Like its not like i worked for that money~
If i get randomly lucky i would like to repay kindness, like even if i dont have to
G
On another note
Guy was looking at my numbers
Like i told what i am doing with the smart home stuff
Like nah, i am probably not bragging i am waiting for ppl to suggest something cool i can do
Like my financial status is quite public, bragging will just fall back onto my head right away
Like i feel like its ppl looking at your numbers instead of what you are actually doing
Like i have seen someone who told how much they are in debt, lie business related but quite a bit, like that number may be important bc the person has that emotional weight on them
But like it tells me nothing about the person
Watch “Lawdamercy” on YouTube
I feel better, but bored
Also i am thinking about the bidet, i want it for 3 reasons
Futuristic
Saves on tp
Female bodys are really particular about how you wipe and stuff, so lemme just comment that out, use the water thing, and hopefully go arround that issue in a bit step
I really need to set
A watchdog on speed
Like thats what i mean
I will hit ppl with stuff and then act like nothing happened with my 15 sec goldfish memory
Like i have already moved on
Like thats clearly a behavior pattern from my mum, like that smells so bipolar
Like i am so curious if the hormones work as i think they do, and they reslove that
Like thats a childhood pattern they are quite clingy, and if you Remove them manually, you are breaking all patterns building on it
So i cant remove that myself, i am quite curious if that does the trick
Like making yourself bigger is 1 thing, but i am more interested in priming my target, so i can hit them with a good contience if they overstep what was warned
Like i would like to feel good while i do it~
Like the neurotic element with speed is really annoying, bc you always think your right
Like its great, but not what i am aiming for~
Hitting ppl with stuff is great fun, but like i decided on something else
Watch “Liquid Stranger – Run For Cover (Feat. MC Shells)” on YouTube
Watch “NOAH23 – DARK CRY$TAL ft. $UICIDEBOY$ (WAVVE GAWD)” on YouTube
Watch “Doom (feat. Cambatta)” on YouTube
Watch “Changa (feat. Cambatta)” on YouTube
Watch “LSDREAM, Liquid Stranger – POTIONS [OFFICIAL VISUALIZER]” on YouTube
Like i really like the anonymity
Bigger city’s bring
Like thank you i dont have to care about my neighbor
Like social stuff is cool
But like also i dont care
Like i will not care more bc i have to pretend bc of some social reason,
I go somewhere, where it doesn’t matter
If i dont like u i move on and dont have to worry about running into you tomorrow somewhere else
Like ppl get hard on, oh ppl meet again so things have to be dealt with
And social community
Like no, dont care
Like i will pretend a bit till i am gone
Like i care bout family, but like i go choose my own community
Like nah thats not getting better, i am just not interested, like i see how social stuff works, and will not make things too hard for myself
But like i know where I dont have to, so i obviously go there
Like maybe i am a great person there
But i am not forced to by social rule of small social node number and therefore higher transaction costs
Like i think ppl are happy with me gone, and same for me
But like i ignore that till i can move with the buffer i need
Like its not a moral or liking thing
Some things just fit certain environments
Like every time i am in a bigger city, its like
Yeah, that works
I dont even need to tell ppl to get lost, bc ppl already know their place
Enaugh ppl have already hit them on their paws for doing that
Like thats probably not for everyone, but like i like that
Like sometimes i care, but probably by default i don’t
Like i am polite, but like maybe the hormones do something bout that, but i dont think they make me more stupid
Like beeing nice is something stupid ppl do to hedge their bets and redistribute recourses, like i have a study for that somewhere ~
So like i can survive quite well not doing that
But its more pleasant for me to live in, and till i am not working anywhere anymore, i dont
So like ultimately i will not be bound by that in the same way
Like,, don’t feed me speed, i formulate like a bich and make only half sense bc the appeal to emotion is missing, that stuff makes me so neurotic
Like i am not wrong, but also its not right
Like all my historical references are missing too~
Like i would have just roundhouse kicked a person out of my social circle for feeding me speed a year ago, but i am polite bc i am in the middle of no where and there are like 5 ppl arround
Like i am aware of my surroundings
So like i move when i am ready, but like not staying bc i am a rude brat and i will light ppl on fire if they bring me patterns i dont like or care for
But i keep my paws down and am nice, and see what happens, who knows, i dont
Maybe i move and someone really fits another person for business, so keep contact
Like obviously i take the drug if offered, like person is beeing nice, but also feeding ppl with speed bc of clear social intent
Like i see such stuff, but like, 5 ppl, no where, bored, what else u gonna do, lets see what happens
Like its not like i have better things to do than putting my paws in mousetraps for fun
Like i am not really a mouse
Like i was asked if they can come by randomly
I told them i will eat you if you dont text me first
Like social borders ppl please
Like if someone, like not fam or like neighbors, but like ppl i know come by without informing me first, like i will hit you with a shovel for overstepping a social boundary
Like no you dont just walk into a person’s social boundary who was involved in something illegal
You will be crucified if you try to invite yourself and hanged if you do
You wait till your invited or are ready to fight for it, if you’re not just ignored
God that speed really has this, old guy screaming at cloud vibe~
Like i will hold the entirety of your shady unconscious patterns against you if you get that close with pattern setting tools
From the insecuritys to the fears you didnt knew you had bc you suppressed them
Bc either thats shady or your handling tools you dont understand on other ppl
In which both cases i need to draw border lines
Like it may be a new idea to you, but using speed to make ppl do stuff is not a new concept
Like there may be good reasons
I will still hit you with divine weapons if you get too close to me with that
Btw u forgot your cigarette filters, u want those?
I am finally home
Btw that guy has the website
Like hi, yes i will write about stuff without caring :p
Like its my diary, i write whatever i think
Finally i can sleep
Like enaugh social for now
Like i just fell asleep there
Like i will sleep wherever if i am tired
Like thats the 1 skill I got from school, the ability to sleep everywhere
Like my social, i need to entertain and balance that insecurity is quite low
Like u be high and just chilling with ppl without saying something, really helps that
Bc like u know it doesn’t matter like that you have seen it done before
Like i am quite happy the car is gone
Like person was talking about like how they dont take anything bc of how its visible on drug tests
Like thats just not a worry i have anymore
I dont have a car or am driving ~
I like that
Also someone asked about dropping by and if I could get them
Like i dont have a car, i cant, and i am quite happy sitting there not moving
Like its not about the actual decision, but not even having to think about it
And after ppl know, they will also not ask
Like u are guys, freedom, driving, self sufficiency
I am girl, like girls can do that too, but its also a lot easier to just sit on beeing driven arround
Like its just socially more acceptable
Like i wanna move somewhere i can walk places, i work from home
Like having a car is not that big of a thing where i maneuvered myself
Like where u even gonna park a car in a bigger city
Like my timing with things is a bit scattered and offset, but like i know were i wana go
So i go there
Like staying here would be absurd, bc i have already adjusted things, removed the car, etc
Like theres no question, just time
Lol
I forgot i had btc laying arround

Like guy was complaining it went up, and he didn’t buy, so i checked my wallets:p

I need to exchange that to xmr when i get home
Btw this
Guy was making multiple
I am looking for this kinda girl
Who i can do x with
Comparing it to the current situation without speaking it
Like no, u have a bigger project already running to get my interest
Like girls usually date, the same level or above
So like in comparison to what i am doing
Like i think i like guys, the thing is my standards are measured by me as a reference point
Also like i talked to your ex when you were together and i know why she broke up
And i am probably more picky/bratty~
Lol
Fe5

War


So
I ended up in a room with someone showing me what girls to hire they wrote on WhatsApp,
Which existence I forgot about
Is it bad that all i am thinking about is how
Bad their product images are
And how they could increase sales and brand value
Like i dont wanna make those girls mad at me, but off all places, I didn’t expect good images on wa tbh
Like what works works i guess
Like i think that it’s WhatsApp which is irritating me more than the sex they selling
Like i should, bc theyare probably closer for sex, but also its WhatsApp, lemme buy sex somewhere else and like go there
Like i should buy some before the hormones, but also i lazy~
I was just
Offered to have some random money thrown at me to invest it for that person
I think i can do that
u know
I told someone to make a folder called business
And make files called ideas and goals
And like its abstract to see them use it
Like i am just doing stuff and do things automatically
Like if i would make those lists, i would have a better idea 10 min later
But like its interesting to see how such a small impuls really sticks with ppl
Like it really is interesting that like, the patterns i make really grow with ppl how not constantly change theirs like i do
Someone
Asked me if i wanna come by
But like i would have to chill till the morning
I need to move somewhere where i can walk places~
Like that totally eats my sleeping rythm ~
But like i should be social
I will probably go, its tge last weekend where i can smoke cigarettes ~
Watch “Ganja White Night x Subtronics – Womp Portal | Official Music Video | Animation | 2023” on YouTube
Watch “Zuna – Grüße an die Cops (prod. by Arktos)” on YouTube
So i am looking
Into a tv mount
And like they want 60 for like 1 with a arm
So like i googled if anyone had a good method to make one
But all i found was ppl explaining how to mount a tv on a wall, like i can do that, it has screw holes, you screw it in, and it hangs:p
So like either i buy one eventually
Or i make one
Like i still have hinges from when i was barricading my door
But i dont know if they are too heavy
If i say hinges, i mean these things you use to hold the beams if you are building a house, with these massive screws you use in building a house for concrete
With a steel beam between them
Like if the police happens to knock on my door, like it has the same integrity as the house itself,
If they try to ram it, the wall will probably give in before my barricade does
So like i can look in peace if there is anything bad laying arround, make some coffee, and talk to them about sending 1 of their guys to get cake
Like that sounded like stress, and i was always quite high, so like just taking the urgency out
Like they are always nice to me, i can at least offer coffee
Like i dont drink coffee, but like i had some to offer back then
Like they have their foot in the door before you can look, then they get a locksmith, then they ram, so like theres time
Like theres no worry if i dont hear a helicopter ~
But like i am not doing anything that illegal, so i dont need it anymore
Like i think ppl know by now i like acid~
Like it may be good for a tv mount, or its just too heavy ~
Watch “Lackadaisy – Coming Soon” on YouTube
Watch “Dark 28.2 Full Album” on YouTube
Watch “Littb__ – Ordeal” on YouTube
Watch “Littb__ – Tool” on YouTube
Watch “Littb__ – Nobody” on YouTube
Watch “Dad Rock” on YouTube
Can i also say
That somewhere in the middle ages girls realized, they could pay a musician to write song, which represent males as they wanted their partners to be
To get their partners to be that
Like this music game has been going on forever by both sides
Watch “REZZ x Quackson x Wreckno – Gyrate (Visualizer)” on YouTube
Watch “Aries – ETA (Audio)” on YouTube
I should
Really write a book at some point, just to try it
Like doesn’t have to be long
Like i know how
Also i have the tools
Like there is a cli programm, which name i dont remember rn
But like Stephen king, or one of those ppl is using that too
Like its great, its not a text editor, its a text formater
Gimme a sec
Its word grider
Like the ui is quite interesting

Like there are also programs which let you order things by chapters and do like bigger picture stuff, add a character background in a tab etc
Idk if those are running on dos tho, like wg was probably written before i was born
Watch “Mod Sun – Two (Official Video)” on YouTube
Watch “train hopping in hippyland” on YouTube
Watch “Mod Sun – #noshirton (OFFICIAL VIDEO)” on YouTube
Watch “Mod Sun – 1970 (Official Video)” on YouTube
Watch “Mod Sun – Free Love (DEMO VERSION)” on YouTube
Watch “ic3peak – смерти больше нет [lyrics]” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – sasha killled himself” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – lonewolf” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – Swan Dive” on YouTube
Watch “Therapist Reacts to GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES (Studio Ghibli)” on YouTube
https://youtu.be/1ELLhETCcGU
Btw
The morning routine collapsed again
Just bc its so hard to wash your face with 1 hand
Btw, in my econ, i also had padding margins everywhere
Like if i have a food bugedet of lets say 100 a week, then that will be overloaded by 10-15%
Meaning there are always 115 in that budget when full
So like even if you are out of budget, you still have some wiggle room
Like i should be stable af, me not beeing is really odd lets see if the hormones fix that
Like its not a top layer issue, the top layer is better than most
Btw the not smoking weed, its not like i cant
Like i walk 2 steps outside my door and see something which gets me high
Like i did that,
Like i had a job beeing trained as a manager in some warehouse, and like on the smoke breaks, i went outside the back, and there were sedatives growing
So in my breaks, i went out smoked, munched some sedatives and went back
Like its really hard to keep me clean if i dont want it:p
Like thats not a drug thats on any drug test anyways~
Like i am sure i could make some money there doing a extractiom with some napta or something
Like just separating out the organic phase and recristalizing the compound
But like theoretically i could but its not fitting the ohase of chilling and stacking money~
Watch “ThxSoMch – CAROLINE [Lyrics x AMV]” on YouTube
Like yes
I need those random budgets i can spend on things


Pw
My new economics
So after that big bill for the cryo is payed
My only running expense should be food
Smoking is gone, car is gone
Like im the crypto system i was giving myself 100 a week to spend
50 of that was fuel alone
So like i bout doubled my spending power/ freed my budget there
The budget for the fiat account is smaller, bc i have quit all those contracts
So all in all, the money i make should actually stay in my pocket
If i have everything setup, i have a full smart home, with the ability to make musik or art, or code
So after that last big fee, i should have no bigger events or payments coming up untill i move
I should at some point get my insurance money to padd me from major events, and a reverse etf, and crypto, to insure me of a full economic collapse,
So i need to put in a cashflow business and things should be looking quite stable
I should have financial wiggle room, a supportive environment, plans for economic instability, whatever the market does, and the resources to create
From there i can slowly build up
And move into my new life
Like if i survive this month, things dont look that bad
Like kinda boring tbh, but also quite stable
Like i think i can manage till i move, like at least i hope
Like at some point i need to put in my budget plan again, like i had a budget for everything by category, like i had planned a budget for socks in cycles~
Like i may get a bit bored
Like i feel like i am missing that middle layer, like just random 10k somewhere just in case
But i think that will come in time with the cashflow, like i should retain that value quite well
Like at half a year of living costs covered, i feel fine and like am not really worrying about anything
Like currently i am navigating to 3 months, so if i manage that, i actually got a good starting point,
Which just gets fed by my budget plan
Which distributes it into living costs, and recources, investment stuff, allocated budgets, meaning
2 x 100 budget, 3x 25 budget etc, just giving me random pots of money to spend on projects or things i want, which get filled up again automatically
Like i said, i had all those patterns set up before ~
Like its the hell of not smoking weed and working, where you do all this useless boring stuff, which trades actually living for security
So like lets hope that works, so i can do that till i am good and helplessly bored, and then move to something else
I need to meditate and trip out on that or something to kill time or something
Like u know how in the witcher the guy is not actually sleeping, but just meditating to kill time and fast forward the game? Yeah
Like i should also start some sort of mystery sex cult or something to kill time
Like usually u only see ppl presenting their new ideology and are not reading their diary, seeing they are fully aware of what they are doing and get how stupid the reasons actually are
Like i like that kind of meta humor, it amuses me, but like idk observation
But like i am still weary of something eating me quite a bit ~
Watch “A terrible guide to the terrible terminology of U.S. Health Insurance” on YouTube
Watch “EEVblog 1524 – The 10 CENT RISC V Processor! CH32V003” on YouTube
Wound looks good
Is quite closed on the middle layers, so by tomorrow i can hopefully try some wound healing cream on the top layer
Like i still looks a bit moving on the top

Watch “Lackadaisy TRAILER” on YouTube
Watch “A Touch Responsive Plasma Filled River Table” on YouTube
Btw why i like peterson
Bc there are clearly some thinking patterns of mc kenna in how he reasons
Like i dont think there is any chance he would admit that, bc hes a academic, and mc kenna is weird at least
Like it may be that both are into jung and read his stuff
But like if he goes into more abstract and unconscious topics
Like there is clearly some mc kenna in there
Like the guy is smart, as is, but its like
Oh, i recognize that pattern
Btw where mc kenna got some of his reasoning and attitude, is actually a American priest who wrote some books like 300 years ago
Like he never said that
But like i had to check, so i went and found it
And like the patterns look quite similar to me
Like i cant remember the priests name, like somewhere in America – 100 from now to bout – 600 years or something
Like thats not liberalism, like probably too, but like
That originated from the church
Watch “Terence McKenna On Aliens” on YouTube
I will just use
Sol for now to get a working crypto demo~
Next month
I may he able to switch back to my crypto system
Like it got more efficient bc i have less buffer which i need to keep in the fiat account, bc i canceled all those contracts which automatically take money, including the car
Like i feel a lot better with my money not beeing in fiat for some reason
Yt deleted my baby boss sample, but like
What is this? Free market capitalism or some socialist babana republic!
Like xmr and btc have atomic swaps, meaning, you can exchange btc to xmr, without any exchange which could want kyc from you
Like i would like app to be able to attach to that framework
So you can make money via the app for working on projects, and then trade it without supervision of any sorts to your almost untraceable xmr account
Like i am going with the thing beeing blockchain based, bc you cant take it down or censor it
So if a Gouverment asks me to comply to some sort of regulation
I can go
Thats technically impossible for me
I made it, but i dont have the access to change something like that
Like thats the beauty of blockchain and why Gouverments are so icky about it
They can preasure twitter, but they can’t preasure code
Like i would maybe go for a 2 ways system just to have things up
1 layer for post storage, and 1 for payment
But like theoretically, it should be possible to do in 1 package
Watch “Surge Pricing Will Kill Us All” on YouTube
Like
Do i really need to write my own chain~
Like i can see how solana exchanges get regulated already with kyc
I dont want to build something, just for ppl to have to do kyc
Watch “$XMR Hard Fork: 4 MORE Moneros?!? $NEO Tour | 🤑 BlocNATION Airdrop | $ONT Supply? | $PPT x $KMD” on YouTube
Watch “NEO (NEO) in 6 Minuten einfach erklärt!” on YouTube
So i looked at solana
And there is so much js in that
Like i am repelling in agony
I may need to talk to the xmr ppl what they think is the best course of action with this
I have seen something called xmr neo, but haven’t looked into it
I will have a look there and then i may write them
Watch “Internet Censorship is COMING! This You NEED To Know!” on YouTube
So
I found the charger to the other laptop
Soooo.. Whats my encryption pw again:P

Like every device has a different enc pw and a different normal pw~
Like that looks like pop os
The image on the hard drive should be the one i had on the main laptop
But i tried that one~
I could just reflash it, like i wanna use it as the server for the smart home stuff
Watch “Your Goals Are Incompatible With Modern Life” on YouTube
Actually, i think i never came out
As gay
Parents i am gay:Dd
I know its hard to believe, like i am super straight in my fluffy socks:p
Like i just never answered that question in the room i think:p like i think i was quite obvious
Or like bi, or pan, or like can i just throw a dice?
Like i get hormones soon, then i may actually be straight
But i think not
I need a birthday present
For my sis
Like its in the middle of the year~
But like, if i start now, ill have figured it out by then, what i actually be giving her
Wait
That dream is also a image of death and ending but in pretty and good emotions
I like that better
And i cry to the moon that there is a tiny wolf in my shoe
Like actually
I made great progress today
I unregistered the car, i got the board to work, did some other stuff n fluff
Like there is a routine missing too
Like i am showing every 2-3days rn, instead of every day
Bc i dont want the wound to get moist too much, and that relays to shaving, so disphoria poisoning
So like that will probably also get better with the top layer of the wound beeing closed
Like id rather have it heal properly, like i dont really like it, bc i like water
But like seems reasonable
Like at the end of the week things should look quite different again with all those limiters removed and routines beeing untangled again
Like i am kinda happy i finally am loosing the car
Like its convenient, but also they so expensive, and always want your attention
You have bound valuable, running costs, insurance, taxes
Like id rather take the train or bus every 3 months or something, when I really need to be somewhere further away
Like its just 1 thing off my mind
Like withit dragging a whole cluster of smaller things, so those also gone
Like i am quite happy about that
Soon the transgender process is also closed, what i mean is,
I dont need to get hormones or anything, like those take forever to take full effect
So like thats starte and going on, no docs to find to get something
Like the process is still active, but like eating a lot less recourses
So ican focus on other things
Like things are starting to look a lot better
Then i can also finally focus on business stuffand art
Like life gets so cluttered so quickly in these times
Like i noticed that with like physical stuff
Like after some time you have everything you need and just giving stuff to ppl, bc like ppl give stuff to you randomly, or just say you dont need it
Like capitalism has really produced a overflow of stuff which clusters and clutters,
Like i am not complaining, i love stuff
But like it gets quite cluttered rather quickly, with stuff
And everything you own also owns you
So if everything is cluttered, you attention is also divided and split into spectral short waves of trying to divide total amount of attention by amout of stuff
Instead using a longer wave length with more intensity on what you actually value
Or something like that~
Like idk i am dead but also feel accomplished
Things are on plan till now
Btw in that dream, i fell in love on a end ofthe world party, like actually, end of the world
And there was just a room with vegetarians and vegans at a table with a bunch of meat
And they were discussing if they should do it or not
Like what a scene:p
But like great to see my anima again
Like anima/animus, is the collection of all your romantic and sexual interests personified
A entity showing itself in dreams, trips and visions
The mediator between the concious and unconscious
Like if i just get weed and sleep all day
Like i am still having like the best and most interesting time ever
Btw that dating app, like yeah i know, but quick endorphins,
Like i matched with a girl but she is not writing me, and i am not writing her, we visited each others profiles multiple times, the app reminds you of matches
But we are both sitting and waiting :p
Like i kinda lost the urgency after that cryo appointment, so like idk, i see how that plays out
Like i am quite happy using this app, at this paste of no hurry
Like in the beginning i made like i girl profile, but i have been making good progress at automatically repelling all those guys
Like paradox art seems to work like a charm
Like if ihad to guess
Guysare scared of pretty and smart girls
So putting those paradox images there, is a automatic
Oh noh, thats complicated
And the association is made automatically
Like i can still change my flags if i want to, but i am quite happy with my calm environment
I had a rave
About something, but work was tiring
Like i had a great analogy this time
Like thats why i had tomorrow as my non work day, like the rest of this week will be so unproductive
Like i have some burocracy to do tomorrow,
The car is unregistered, i had stuff to say but bleh~
How are ppl even alive without being in a catatonic state of nothingness
Like give me half a year of working full time and i am building nuclear weapons
Like i have gone over this their radius is actually quite small, bc they bombed a whole country which is actually a island
So small body makes small dick look bigger by relation
So if you were actually trying to..
However, i go watch anime~
At the end of the week i am hopefully able to do stuff again
Watch “Entropie” on YouTube
Watch “Desire” on YouTube
There is a small
Issue
This is a normal led strip
But i need a digitally addressable led strip~
But like thats good, the board is all setup, i get some leds and everything should be running
Like u know how led strips go
Red or green or blue, etc for the entire strip
I need a strip where i can control each led individually, else like how you gonna make those patterns and cool animations
For instance, i can take a strip and connect it to a script
So like idk i wanna make 100 each month
So i can use it as a loading bar, where leds change color as i make money
Or like show if the server is doing what its supposed to
Like i can include sub patterns in my sub pattern of the main pattern
With main beeing the main light for daytime rythm
Sub pattern beeing led colors for phases of the day
And single leds beeing the sub sub pattern, encoding information about the sub pattern i am currently in
Like how drugs work
Watch “Speedpaint.165 Xenodragons (commissions)” on YouTube
Okai so
First i ran a update upgrade
Then i realized directly after i plug it in, it shows up, but not 2 sec later

So i applyed slight pressure into the cable usb port, and it worked
The web installer was not working, probably bc i was using chromium instead of chrome
Like i guess if you are using Linux, you are just expected do things via the console anyways ~
So i flashed the bootloader, then the actual software
Had trouble connecting to the wifi of the board
Realized i had to push the cable in for some reason
Realized i need eth connection to connect to the wifi at the same time
Did that, set things up
And now the cable is only used for power anyways
Like i need to connect the light themselves
But basically its working ^~^

Like its easyer on windows
But like linux is, yeah it will take longer, but you now also know how to allocate the memory of the board manually if you doing some other projects
Watch “SHAHMEN – No Slippin’ (Prod. by SENSE)” on YouTube
Watch “SHAHMEN – Luck (Prod. by SENSE)” on YouTube
Watch “SHAHMEN – 1985 Pt. 2 (Black Flowers) Official Video” on YouTube
Watch “Zero & boonn – Aim Steady (Lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “TIN – Ticking” on YouTube
Watch “TRIPPYTHAKID – LOCKED UP (PROD. HOUNDS)” on YouTube
Watch “MFF – Que Sera” on YouTube
Watch “UNLEASHED – 13. Unleashed” on YouTube
Watch “Klippa vs Mayhem – Acid Bath” on YouTube
Watch “Tincup – Jester” on YouTube
Watch “Bolgy Wolgy – OwO whats this – (Omnom bad remix)” on YouTube
Watch “twenty one pilots – We Don’t Believe What’s On TV (Official Audio)” on YouTube
Watch “30 – She Like (Lyrics – Lyric Video)” on YouTube
Watch “Thomas Pyrin & Heitech – 60” on YouTube
Watch “± CΔT – Moon Spells ±” on YouTube
Watch “Weezer – Do You Wanna Get High?” on YouTube
Watch “YUNGBLUD – Parents (Lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “Lil Aaron – Top 8” on YouTube
Watch “Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit (Sash_S & Phil Phauler Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Jerome – Matrix (ft. J-Wright)” on YouTube
Watch “sewerperson – okkkk” on YouTube
Watch “convolk – You.Won’t.Do.Shit” on YouTube
Watch “Driving into the Sun” on YouTube
Watch “Aries – RACECAR (Lyrics)” on YouTube
Watch “Crowbar” on YouTube
It
Probably is the pricing
Today i fell in live in mt dreams
I will just try to sleep
What did i do this time~
I guess I’ll find out..
I definitely triggered something somewhere ~
I wanna cry but i dont even understand why
I think those dreams stared when i put the fee in
I think that preasure is frying my brain
I will need to remove it an see if i feel better
I should really sleep
But i cant figure out whats so off rn
Like something is really out of bound and will eat me
Like this is really not good
I dont know what it is
But its really not good
Like i hope i am just on some bullshit
The wound looks good
I am getting into the top layer of the middle layer, and then comes the top layer, which will heal normally ^~^
The yellow is jod

Comparison from last time

I need
To not focus on normal social goals, i will just optimize stuff and get bored
I should focus on making art
I will put a midi keyboard on the list
Like you dont need one
But i am a stream of consciousness type person,
Like hard to guess by my endless blog posts:p
Like i can just continue writing in midi keyboard
I dont have the patience for slowly laying out a track ~
Like i would do some programming, but i feel like something is still lurking
I wait for now till it shows itself
Like
Those gloves are so cute

Like they basic gloves, but i think they really fit the outfit i am going for
Like i am going for green blue silky fabrics and flannel
Like if the quality is as they look, then i am quite happy

Like if inflation is things getting more expensive
Then my item spending is actually in deflation territory
Like rent and food is inflating, but thats hard to get arround
Like i am trying with food,
Like i think buying the edible mushroom grow set would really make a difference
Like once i have the gloves~ *wiggles tail and butt*
Noodle maker is a option, but noodles not that expensive, but quality up
Like cheese and meat is the most expensive
Like idk if i see something interesting, i will adapt it
Like rent is not something you can do much about
So like i up living quality, or down food
So like i up quality till everything is high quality stuff
Like i am optimizing cost functions, i am sure that will end up somewhere ~
Like idk i just do stuff till i dont need to care, have everything i could want and eat cheesecake, then i see where i go from there and how much money i sit on
Like i always have stuff to do, if i want to be social, i just throw tee partys with cake and weed
Like if i am not running out of money, things are actually quite straightforward
Like as soon as i feel safe, something will come at me again, like i am dying in my dreams, i am quite sure something is lurking
Like i am a bit saver, but i dont trust it
I am so silly
When i get to spend money~
It started to snow outside
Watch “Deception (feat. Cambatta)” on YouTube
Btw my dude
Like the person doing massive lines of speed, you know who you are
U smart, u aware you could do whatever you put your mind to?
Like they were looking for a public position in another county
Like young guys do that bc they would never admit that, but they looking for structure
Young guys are intuitively looking for structure if they smart and know they have all that freedom but no idea of what to do with it
Like it may be a good path
But like just a side note
You could if you tried
Like i am not saying its easy, but like you got everything you need
Like i dont wanna get involved in someones life planning, maybe thats the right thing for that person
Just a footnote
Like at some point of testing you understand, like okai, i can do stuff no matter the limits
But that gives you a problem,
Bc what tf are gonna do with it 😀
Like the word psychedelic, it applies to drugs, but it can also apply to ideas, art, doing stuff, like there are different ways to do the same thing
Watch “Sammy Pharaoh – No Rush” on YouTube
Watch “Sammy Pharaoh – Foxy” on YouTube
Watch “Sammy Pharaoh – Nefertiti” on YouTube
Watch “Finesse” on YouTube
Okai so
There was a sale
Like i couldn’t resist, i could get items for 65 for 18, like i am pushing my budget, but i think worth it

Here is what i got, i spend in total

The 11 are for 8 pairs of fluffy socks, so 1.5 per pair, so 0.75 per sock

Like my issue with fluffy socks is the outside, like the fur gets all dirty, like bc its fur and you are literally walking on it
So these seem like a good solution
Now, 1 by one


The nail polisher, i wanted a dremmel since years, but never actually got it, and thats a dremmel, but i can also do nails
So i get the other tools for it, and its a dremmel



Wifi camera, bc i was already trying to set 1 up, so i got that
Next, a electronic eyebrow cutter, bc i saw that a while back and like i dont like plucking them, and it was also on sale, like it seems like such a help in getting that routine stable and not having to deal with the pain of plucking, also like probably faster
I am giving another smartwatch a try, maybe this one has a heart rate sensor~
Laptop stand, i heard they actually make a big difference in perceived living quality, so i wanna try
Foot peel thing, bc i have to get smooth at some point
Plastic flower, bc they expensive and on sale, and i need flowers

Next is something interesting
Thats a hair remover
I wouldn’t buy it for 10, but for 3 i will try it, like if it works, thats amazing
Like comments were good

Last is a automatic door closer, bc i do smart home, like i am not getting the futuristic sliding doors~ so like they can close on their own, like automatically openers are 1-200,so that will be enaugh for now^~^
All in all, 10 items for 31, so average, 3.1 per item with some really cool stuff in there
Like i like shopping like that^~^
Next cycle i need, the Bluetooth keyboard
The mirror foil i did not get, bc i don’t even know which size i need, like its dependent on the monitor, which i dont have yet~
Like i have some really pretty gloves i want, maybe they are in budget then^~^
Watch “Rotteen–Crane’s Rage [Daycore] (!Flash Warning!)” on YouTube
Watch “greenhouse – sweetness” on YouTube
Watch “greenhouse – t_muralis” on YouTube
Watch “greenhouse – tranq” on YouTube
Watch “greenhouse – ×” on YouTube
Watch “greenhouse – concern” on YouTube
Watch “La Chica – AGUA (20syl Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Hash” on YouTube
Watch “20syl – Voices feat. Rita J.” on YouTube
Watch “20syl – Ongoing Thing feat Oddisee” on YouTube
Watch “Testify (feat. 星熊南巫)” on YouTube
Watch “[Arcaea] Team Grimoire – Dantalion” on YouTube
Btw shout out
To my history teacher girl with the poncho you know who you are
She told me about the industrial revolution stuff
Like it makes total sense, but i wouldn’t have made that connection myself
And like to the teacher girl collecting my random drawings on stuff, in case i get famous
Watch “MASTER BOOT RECORD – Dune: Spice Opera” on YouTube
Like
They made it so you can scan their qr code to make a appointment,
Like i cant be mad at that, thats good execution
Like i am quite curious if it solved waiting times
Like usually ppl just show up, get a number and like chill there for 2 h
But like if you do it like this, like you can actually manage how ppl show up
That should in theory make opperations smoother
Like the girls there looked more chill than usual
So i got
The results from like the cryo thing
Thats quite potent, aint it?
I am almost 3x ing in concentration
And doubleing in progressive mobility
35 are stoners, and 5.5 got lost doing circles 😀

The other guys in my family are actually into sports, and like buff and training, like they probably nuke this test out of the water
Watch “Qué Será Ahora” on YouTube
Watch “For the Vibe” on YouTube
Watch “Extragalactic” on YouTube
Okai
I was to unregister the car, you need to first make a appointment online
Like i am preaching digital revolution, like i cant really be mad about that
With the hormones, i finally shouldnt needt to go anywhere anymore
Like watts said that
Like he was talking to some business guy which was like
I need to be everywhere, its best i just buy a helicopter
And reply was
No, dont do it, ppl will just expect you to be everywhere even faster
Its something like that, ill be there eventually
If you really need me fast, send a driver to get me
Like the dealers have those anyways, they are not disturbing themselves
Like whats that urgent?
Its not worth sending the driver?
So why did you expect me to be there fast then?
Like its just me beeing comfy
And like ppl will probably only get me if its something worth my time
Like i am still going places, but without time preasure
Like things are really adapting greatly to my new fee^~^
Watch “Faceless 1-7 x Prompto – Rack That Sh*t (prod. Aryel)” on YouTube
Watch “HEWWO KITTY! ᐳ:3c” on YouTube
Watch “postman (feat. ytcracker)” on YouTube
Watch “Solaria / Aura [Original Song]” on YouTube
Also like
This trans stuff has a history of ppl robbing banks for us
Like its a state medically described by pain, meaning dysphoria
So like if its money, like guys will find money for us
Like going back a lot
Trans ppl were obviously collected by the shamans, bc they were picking out all the odd kids to train them
So like they were historically in the position of like helping with birth, wound healing, drugs, spirits and narrative
Like its the wounded healer archetype
So ppl have this deep intuition of, nah you can’t be having something eat you, having you around is kinda good, besides general empathy
I keep having
bad dreams
This time i died 2 times in 1 dream
Also i was shown like odd skeletons room by room
Like here is this fish tail a baseball player caught during a game
Here is this massive prehistoric crustation
Like those were too big for my liking
Also i drove in a bus down a cliff, i wasn’t driving, or only partially
I can’t remember rn how i died yesterday, or the day before ~
Anyone wanna bet whats about to happen?
Like i have a bad feeling ~
Oh amd
Where is that arrow pointing to?
Like since years i am looking at those stars like
Thats a arrow, where is it pointing to?
Like i know the german name for that star formation, but like
Thats a arrow
Like who cares about logic, i bet there is something interesting there
Like it was 1 of those fist books of human history translated where they are talking about the war in the heavens and stars and how these ships battled each other
Like thats scientific heracy i cant talk about without looking stupid and linking the source material
But like its heracy and i loved to read it for some reason
Like for all i know that book is non existent for most ppl living, and i will probably also never see it again, but interesting to know it exists
Like it was only a short paragraph in a long book, but i was like
I didn’t expect you to be here
Like old books are a trip
Like the emerald tablets beeing like
Yeah go there, then go there, then you see that thing which looks like the sphinx?
Yeah under that you will find my ship
Like there are tunnels there, but if anything was ever there, like it certainly is not there anymore
Like officially recognized tunnels now
Like i believe it when i see it
But interesting to read from some old Egyptian crystal tablet
Like who knows whats fake and what not, but like interesting to read certainly
Like if someone faked it, at leat they made it interactive and made sure the vibe was right, i can respect that
Did you know the pyramids were no tombs, like Egyptians have tombs, with great wall art, but the pyramids never had a single mummy in them
Like idk what they are, but certainly interesting that thats wrong
Like idk maybe they just give a lot of shade in a place with a lot of sun
I am oddly switching
Between vibes, working 2 shifts is really making me fluffy~
If i am using morally reprehensible behavior without limiter, for a highly moral cause,
Is that socially good or bad behavior?
That was another paradox, wasnt it..
Lets ask my priest about how the church handled that in the past:p
Jk, but like i need to sleep~
On another note
I had some time ago, where i was looking for a therapist, and like i called someone
And i described it as transgender stuff
And they were like
Can you rephrase that, if you call it stuff, it sounds like you are not talking it seriously
And i renamed it transgender cluster
Which is the same linguistics, doing the exact same, and exactly for it looking the same i used it
Like i am a brat
And they understood what i was doing
But like it doesn’t matter, i can call it
A transgender r group
Using chemical language
Making it sound really important and technical,
But all i am saying is stuff, and all the chemists are saying is stuff
Like category substitution is valid no matter of placeholder framework
Like if you doubt me bc i call something stuff, like then i have other issues
Like i know where thats coming from, thats the professional
I wanna look good even when i have no idea what i am doing
But that just makes opperations foggy for me too
Like if i am stupid i do well if someone tells me
Like i dont need to look artificially professional
My general competence is working well without that
Like i renamed it to fluff
Bc it looks prettyer
But like not as a appeal to professionalism
Like nah, if am doing things professionally, then i cant ignore the paradoxes and contradictions surrounding taking things seriously
Like its professionalism, but not to its full conclusion, if you really go all the way, you need to take all the meta layers and paradoxes into your consideration
If you can then still proclaim it needs to be taken seriously, which is not really defined in that context, so do that too, then please do so
But i dont think thats something reasonable, at least not fro. My view
Well, it depends, on how much the general public will not trust you without the artificial linguistic claim to seriousness
Like i get it, ppl are annoying, and its easy, like do whatever, everything is valid for itself
But like i am just randomly thinking trew stuff which happened a eternity ago by my standards ~
And i should sleep..
Like how serious is transgender?
Who wants to see me not getting my hormones beeing emotionally unstable for longer periods and doing what i do when i get frustrated in increasingly extensive intervals, hands up
, excluding the ppl who want drugs, guns, or are mad at society,
Like yes, i am a absolute brat and i will trow massive tantrums
Good thing we have hormones ^~^
Like measure it by ppl possibly dying bc i got mad and had a idea, instead of how i name it, thats should do
Like i am beeing a good puppy rn, but what if i had no reason to?
I am
So odd as a girl
Like i know i can ask stuff without having the male sexual tension there, so i will
Like i am still overstepping, but its not that severe, so like i am just curious and empathic
Like i asked the random girl with the 3 some, how she is doing with her bf bc she seemed so down
Like why u so desperate there if its just fun you 2 decided to look for
You seem to be trying to correct something by that, u okai?
Like if girls dont know i am trans, they will just tell me, like if they know they dont
Like both are good, good luck with it
But like they understand why i asked, after they declined, at which point i will obviously ask for some sort of payment for that help
Like i am curiously overstepping into private territory without thinking about it, but i wont push, i am pricing
Like my general character is already quite foreward, so like i dont need to push, i got momentum
And i will just trip acidentaly in and out of your mindframe
Like its classified as a accident bc of general motion of character
Like i have no idea how i got there, i was curious and smelled emotions
Like female tools beeing so close to the intuitive usecase border, really does me favors
In moving threw social spaces without looking like i am doing something odd
Like i usually am, but not in any way someone could imagine, or i would understand well enough to misuse
Like usually i am just chilling with the 15 sec memory of a goldfish and the tools of life and death having no idea what exactly i was up to, but happily doing something
For some reason that doesn’t look odd if you a girl, but as a guy it does
Idk i didn’t make the rules~
Watch “HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARDCORE” on YouTube
U kmow i look at furrys and go, do you ppl never run out of drugs?
Then i remember who i am~
😀
Like i am a artist, i will claim that as in the job description, and relay it via a appeal to productivity to progressing society
That seems bout right
Also i think i attached it to the medicine category
Like thats how we got them, bc we raided natives stuff and brought it back, including their medicine kits, containing the drugs
Like in the great shamanic tradition i still put drugs to the medicine and bandages
Like thats where they belong, it’s child and animal safe, like medicine is stored generally
It embodies the dangers and attaches the mental warning label you have with medicine in general
Like if you store it in a random drawer, it has the danger classification of random drawer
Which like is the wrong classification
Also like if you got caught with it, like having it with the meds is the most responsible position they could be at
Like ppl cant explain why, but they usually understand which kind of person would store it there
Like we have a place for dangerous substances, but the history and tradition of these drugs got erased by the drug war, so the association is not to where they belong
Like if you think about it for 2 sec, you go
Oh yeah, thats quite obvious
I put the possibly dangerous substance with strong usecase, to the possibly dangerous substances with strong usecase
But like the cultural pathway for that thinking pattern got detached bc that tradition is missing for these particular substances
Like i will always argue child and animal safety before legality
Like laws change, but entities always die the same way
I think
Like the biggest thing i took away from mckenna
Was this attitude of
Dont sanktify me for the stupid fluff which pops randomly into my head
No one knows where thaughts come from~
Like you dont need to make yourself bigger, ppl will do that all on their own
The bigger issue is ppl claiming you something which you are not
And then you either have to match that, or explain the difference
So this attitude gives a great out to that, just bc you can go
Nah that was your idea, i am just living dude, i ak a fox, idk:p maybe its like that who knows ~
Go verify it yourself, you should do that anyway, why u trusting a random fox?
Btw
To the question, how much do i understand and don’t understand
I cant tell
Making the assumption i understand as much as i sometimes do seems hubristic
Like i see as much as i dont see i would say
Measure that by my brilliance or stupidity
Like you got to watch me for some time, what do you think?
Like i am aware of that question in the first place ~
Watch “Uppbeat – Psychotic” on YouTube
It
Guy, much appreciated ^~^
Its so odd from someone idk my generation
Like u call ppl and they are suprised someone is calling them,
Like thats the culture with phones
But like its obvious if you make a account somewhere, like its on the internet, its public facing, like obviously ppl are gonna show up~
Like i feel like
The argument often heard is that young ppl are always on their phones
Like yes, but they are also the ppl least likely to respond to anything
Like they have learned from young, that obviously ppl can contact you, so they know how to deal with that, and are not confused or suprised by it
And blur out most of the stuff anyways
Also like, who is selling person to person, if you can mass market
Like even the criminals are mass marketing
Like i may be a special case, bc i am not that shy with stuff and am writing my diary publicly
Like it doesn’t get more idgaf
Btw anyone wanna comission some furry diaper porn or buy some lsd? :p
Like if i as the artist am a sign of my time
Then things are quite interesting
Like as always, but yougetme
Like there is this idea of sodom and gomora if ppl are just allowed to do whatever, but like, you wish, things are as boring as ever and self organizing as before Christianity
Like ppl may have grassrooted the church on a surface level, but with that many drugs in circulation, like the appeal to the divine, which is the orinal value to be preserved will always remain in some form
ALSO btw, like my function is here is actually also a quite old social function
Ppl going somewhere exploring something, coming back to the fire and telling stories about it, and showing what they found
Like the divine realms count to that
Like thats not a new thing, thatsreaaaaaaaaaaaly old actually
Like the methods of telling have changed, but the thing in itself is a core social function
Shout out mckenna xx
Like also, but the suicidal stuff
Like i say that, but like i said it before
I was sitting there going with the doc threw my stuff struggling to find something which counts as suicidal
Like how couldn’t you be with my life like thats odd~
Like i thaught i found something and doc was like, that doesnt couldn’t for like 5 or 10 things
Like such a odd situation, like great^~^ but what?
Living is such a puffly endeavor
Watch “100 gecs – hand crushed by a mallet (Official Audio Stream)” on YouTube
Btw thats a reference to Diogenes
If i wasnt me id copy me too
If i wasnt Diogenes, i would also wish to be diogenes
Watch “Dylan Brady – Coming Down” on YouTube
Watch “Skrillex, Noisia, josh pan & Dylan Brady – Supersonic (My Existence) [Official Audio]” on YouTube
Watch “Grim Salvo x Witchouse 40k // LURCH.LUNG (PROD. ³³marrow) | Vampire Hunter D [1985] OFFICIAL AMV” on YouTube
Watch “S P A M 2 – ytcracker” on YouTube
Watch “ytcracker – whip it” on YouTube
Watch “VLAN” on YouTube
Watch “heuristics” on YouTube
Watch “L2TP” on YouTube
Watch “5G (feat. ytcracker)” on YouTube
Watch “tinnitus” on YouTube
Btw
If you feeling suicidal
Like i got the math, selling stuff, deep historical stuff, the metaphysical, coding, technological, etc etv stuff all, and i am still sitting here like
Just end me
So like idk maybe its the hormones with me, but like it may just be that life is suffering
Like damn budists
Like i got a headache rn, so that explains it rn, but u get me
Like i could literally turn a toaster into a stargate and would sit there like
Can i get struck by lightning now?
Like i am quite sure something is not right about that, but maybe thats just how things be
Can i just say
Usually i always prefer the original voice of something, bc like the production was there going
Nah they jusy lost their entire family, keep that in mind when you say that etc
But Morgan freemans voice is a lot more..
Present
In the german syncro
Like Englisch is always more melodic
But like the german is like you pushed his voice into the foreground with a compressor and rolling r s
Like the English sounds a lot more epic, but the german is also a bit deeper
Luck

Like my analogys are brutally fitting
Like She started pretext with
Its not that easy to find someone ~
H
I just had
Another girl ask on that app
Like u wanna join a 3some
Like i just went, i am transgender, u aware of that, like no one seems to read my bio~
Like i am doing well as a girl, just beeing transgender is stupid:p
Like getting the hormones soon will be a pleasure
Like
This pedestrian youth always wants more than its given
Yeah late stage capitalism, aint it
Btw like
Obviously i pay myself first
Like thats how business is done
Like i have my budget
And then everything else is payed
Like if there is trouble with something its usually not about 20
So like i dont buy random fluff bc i dont have a overview over how much i can spend
I can keep my budget in my head, i cant keep all the transactions on my account in short term memory
Okqi,
So what i am probably buying this cycle
10 pairs of fluffy socks
A Bluetooth keyboard with TouchPad and backlight
Like i wanted this one but they are not letting me buy it

A wall mount for the monitor
1 way mirror foil for a smart mirror
Like if i can get the board to work, and my humidity and temp sensor arrives, likr i think i got everything from a smart home perspective i need for now
Like my toilet is glowing, i think i am good
Like then i can truly connect stuff
Like if i have a monitor in a picture frame on the wall, and a smart mirror to display stuff
The main light for the main cycle, and the leds for sub cycles/pattern setting
Then i set everything up so i can voice comand
Like i still want the led cube paw patrol hologram display
Just bc it looks so futuristic and like i can display things in 3d, like i like that
Its like 30 to make, so like some of the next cycles, like maybe theres a better option
But like my main things are still the same, washing clothes and making food
Like if you in a bigger city, like theres more food than you can count and they bring it to you, like i am sure i can find something healthy
In terms of clothing, like i will just be getting a kigu at some point and be living in that
Like in a smaller city you get so much attention just going out with that, but like in a bigger one, there are so many ppl on the same area, they are used to ppl not giving a shit
Like u still get attention, but they probably have seen 3 ppl like that this week
Like its not like you are going anywhere far if most things are in a 5 min walking radius
Like i can look pretty if i want to, but most of the time, you dont really care and just want to be comfy
Like i am planning on moving near Germanys city of business and commerce, you can be sure there will be a business for everything you need
Like thats sounds like a good fit for me
Like i will not order yet, i think first about if i want anything else or like wanna change something ~
Like i need a keyboard, bc i will be watching something, oh wait, i wanna code something, lemme minimize that and code that and then go back, or do it at the same time, like a remote is not enough, and a full Bluetooth keyboard is overkill, like if i wanna do that much, i just go sit and do it properly
Like the voice control cant really do that~
Like the main things are moving and side job, and those are both big ticket items
So like then i have all the toys i could want
So like i have less things to blame on for not doing stuff
Watch “ENCASSATOR – Techno_Girl” on YouTube
So
I am thinking about top layer
Bc i would like to adapt that
I can’t decide between a silky green fabric and green flannel as like a over shirt layer
Like obviously i am detailing the social signaling eventually ~
Like i know how much focus is on shoes,
So ill either go slippers
Toe shoes, exactly bc there is so much attention on that spot
I also found like really hyper shoes

Like if i say connect lsd to sports, i mean like connect lsd to something like the shoe which looks like a Lsd trip 😛
Like thats probably a offbeat of something, like idk i am not Shoe person
But like if u buy that, like i got all the attention even more, so like ill probably go slippers or something ~
Also i think i get it now, there are these fluffy fine velvet socks which look really fancy
And i think those normal fluffy sucks are the attempt to make that cheaper or something, idk
Seems reasonable~
Like i think i found what i am looking for
Like they are basically ballet shoes for outside, like i am already wearing the ballet pants~
That should be comfy enaugh
Like i dont really care that much bout fancy shoes, like i am artsy, i will buy the most interesting ones, but like
My feet dont get dirty or wet? Yeah i am happy, like if you can actually walk in them, i am even more happy :p
Like i dont like ugly, me artist
Like didnt i wanna hide more ~
Like i go forward as always, i need to also give me some hiding space
I feel like i am wasting my days
Btw
Why i mentioned that ppl getting more homophobic
Like i am not refferencing a vague fear
Like maybe too, but what i was intending was
Things usually have gravity, meaning what goes up comes down, so things kinda move in a double helix sine curve

So the question is not if, but when
Like i usually call that a cycle bc most circles are spirals, which in 3 dimensions are sine/cosine waves
Like that goes deep into how irrational numbers work
Like how you construct a triangle, those functions you use and just learned without thinking about it, they are calculating the triangle by calculating a circle, which is sin/cosin which in 3 dimensions is a spiral
So that pattern of the irrational numbers is going threw all sorts of domains, including homophobia and the opposite, homophilia?, however
So the question is, if that cycle is big enaugh/ bigger than my life span
Like its more complex, bc you have sub games/sub spirals, where you have something happening, you have a counter reaction, to which you have a counter reaction etc etv..
So you can basically sum that and then calculate the sums against each other and get a average moving point, over time a line
Like you cant calculate that, bc you cant track every social event, but the unconscious kinda does that automatically for me
Like with social interactions you are already deep into chaos mathematics
Bc there are sooooo many variables with everything and information degregation etc etv
So like obviously thats on my radar
Like i am trying to remember why irrational numbers are doing that again
I think its something like
I am conflicting terms, its imaginary numbers, not irrational numbers
I think it was something like they are adding another dimension to the number line
Like the number line is quite line like
So if the number line is the concious, the imaginary numbers are the unconscious
But i am not a Mathematician
Heres the urban dictionary definition
The mathematical symbol i is the square root of negative one.
i is not the only imaginary number. It is but the first number in a yet unsubscribed numerical system. It is metaphorically equivalent to the place of the number 0.
The number sequencing (such as 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, ) of the imaginary system consists of all of all prime roots of any whole prime negative number. Unlike our Arabic number system, which has ten digits, the imaginary number scale is infinitely unique and never repeats itself. It instead overlaps.
The imaginary number system is not linear. The numbers do not stand next to each other in a line, but ripple outwards from the negative prime in a quantum manner. As there are infinite number of whole prime roots of each prime negative number, the main question in developing this theory is how to determine an ordered sequence of usable numbers.
While the use for the imaginary number system has yet to be discovered, it may help to describe the imbalance of energy which causes there to be a difference in the amount of matter and antimatter in the universe. As such that no ‘real’ equation has been discovered that can describe anti-matter, it may be that a yet unexplored system of mathematics is key to understanding it.
The square root of negative one is i
Any other root of negative one is undefined.
The next number examined would be the square root of negative two. From there outward, expanding infinitely, would be all prime roots of negative two.
Then to negative three, and then five. Seven follows, and eleven and thirteen. Et cetera, Ad nausium.
The points interest in the imaginary number system would be the intersection of similar prime roots of separate negative numbers.
No other symbols for the imaginary numbers have been created for this system.
Watch “Prezident – Fickfilm (Four W’s Mashup)” on YouTube
Watch “Prezident – Succubus (Sloty Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “NMZS – Pickelhaube” on YouTube
I think
My ads adapted to my new pricing:p
Like they certainly pretty ^~^

Watch “NMZS – Bonustrack (aus: Der Ekelhafte)” on YouTube
Watch “NMZS – Sarkophag (Antilopen Gang)” on YouTube
Huh
Like
Like still feel the snakes under my skin, but it has gotten far better
Like i didnt mention that~
Like i had that like a year ago
Just a random moment with a vision of like snakes all over my arms
Like i am a psychedelic person
I am less scared than curious
Like oh i get it, you like my body heat, thats understandable
Like reading the social structure is not something thats possible, i dont even question why or how there are snakes, its just how things are
Like i have a saying for that
Its nothing which would exist
So like i don’t see the snakes, thats was 1ce for a split second tripped randomly into another realm
But like after that it was quite clear, like that feeling thats snakes
Like there is some deep symbolism, with snakes and dragons there, which also relate to why they occurre with such states of distress
But like i am actually more happy knowing its snakes, than just a vague feeling
Like can you proof that?
Proof what?
The snakes?
What snakes?
The ones that dont exist
They dont exist
Huh
Like its that simple
But like if the snakes are happy, i am too^~^
Like its just how i personally make deals with entities, i have this coincidencia oppositorum vibe of, yeah u a snake, but u a ally or not?
Like if its about entitys, like i said a while a go, there is a shamanic technique without drugs
Like u put on shamanic drums, close your eyes, and use analogy
Everything going down, ladder, stairs, river, trapdoors etc, gets you into the lower realm, everything going up, into the higher realm
Like you can call it a trans like state
Like in the lower, i had a encounter
Like there is psychedelic rules there
Something was randomly attacking, me, so i force fielded it, and went, you were trying to kill me, so i can kill you?
It agreed and i killed it
Like i didnt want to be disrespectful
Like sometimes you just kill something
So like its me personally trying to vibe with things, bc you can always just kill without issue
Like thats also what i was getting at, whats underlying 2 psychedelic ppl making business deals
I think i described it as both Partys basically in a cold war situation with nuclear weapons ready
Like thats underlying that, both partys beeing aware of all the cards by default, and both beeing able to make every possible move
So like you just try to vibe and play, bc both are not shy to act with force and divine justification
I am so happy ^~^
They send me the money*-*
Like the thing is i dont trust
So like i haven’t gotten money from that company before
So like i was not convinced and expecting things to attack me again, till i get that money
Like i dont think they are scammers, but i dont trust till i see it~
Holy yes, that great ^~^
I am happy <3
Like it also validates working
Like psychologically, a promise for money is not snapping, untill you have seen money before
Like if you theoretically know you get something you will loose interest after some time, bc you have not actually seen some
Like if you are fishing somewhere and you dont catch anything, you try a different spot, even if someone promises you you will
Same with someone promising big fish, and you only see small ones
But if you have gotten a fish there before, you understand its possible, and are far more likely to continue fishing there
Like that great news^~^
Like i still need time till i am calm again, that issue with the social insurance, still is open, and i got another letter from another direction about something~
Like i am blissful and delighted ^~^
But also there is still dragons arround_
But also 😊
I am
Tired
Watch “MASTER BOOT RECORD – INTERRUPT REQUEST” on YouTube
Watch “KEYGEN CHURCH – █ ▓ – Bullug Gegbug Ibgabiug Gixcure Dagabciea Fuic” on YouTube
Watch “ONI INC. – Bad Blood 3 ft. 83HADES x MDTA | Prod. SOJHI x Na$tii” on YouTube
Watch “Playground (from the series Arcane League of Legends)” on YouTube
Watch “O Fortuna (Epic Trailer Version)” on YouTube
Watch “Oxygen” on YouTube
Watch “Oxygen” on YouTube
Watch “Total Protonic Reversal” on YouTube
Watch “Ultimatum” on YouTube
Watch “Nightcore – Roundtable Rival” on YouTube
U know
If things happen to get really homophobic,
The first thing i get into is weapons, like officially
Bc like, you can be as homophobic as you want, you think 2ce before you start shit with the arms dealer
Also i can sit on palettes of arms with a good explanation of why i have them
Fun fact, you needa gun lisence to shoot a gun, but not to manufacture them
Like citizens dont get licenses for weapons of war anyways, so it would be stupid to require one, but u get me
Clip
I am finally
Getting to watching the rest of that adastra video
I am not threw yet, but like i havent seen a reference yet, that those characters also represent cultural parts
Like if you frame the culture as a person, those are sub personalities of that person
Diffrent historical influences with different values forming the greater personality/society
Watch “Scissors NOT gate” on YouTube
Back to the political
Like idk elsewhere, but here
To me it looks like found family nepotism
Where you have like youth sections of the main partys, which are there, but dont really have any say in anything
And are there in this infantalized state, hoping to inherit the option to actually do something eventually
Like thats not how things work, smart ppl are smart at any age
And if we assume a democracy where everyone has equal weight, then thats not matching
Seeing that, i have absolutely no interest bc things look so off
Like i am not saying give all the decisions to the young, that would be stupid, we would be in a war faster than you can count
Like if we go back to the greeks, where it came from
Like we dont have that, we have indirect democracy, so my decision means even less,
Having a discussion should give everyone interested a oppertunity to speak and bring forth
Then you can decide
Like thats not official, but have you seen anyone my age group speak about anything
Yeah exactly, like if you want me to take on these democratic globaslistic frameworks, then make things democratic and then we can talk
And if they speak, its like this vibe of
Oh the apprentice politicians are speaking who actually dont have a say in anything yet, but are training
Like nah, thats not flying
Like i will just go and make structures which do not include your decision making
Like thats not really any loss, which is its own thing to be talked about
Like nah ppl are not gonna beg you to reform and restructure, or do Revolution or anything
They just make something better and move on
With that globalism, but no need for you
Leaving you to do whatever, debating into eternity
Watch “Desire” on YouTube
Watch “Aevum (feat. Code of Silence)” on YouTube
Watch “Future Music Weapon” on YouTube
Watch “CyberSecurity” on YouTube
Watch “2WEI, Joznez, Kataem – Ready For War (Official Lyric Video & Audio)” on YouTube
Watch “Apashe – Uebok VIP [Music Video]” on YouTube
Watch “Apashe – Witch (ft. Alina Pash)” on YouTube
Watch “Apashe – Dies Irae ( Instrumental Mix )” on YouTube
Watch “Apashe – Lacrimosa” on YouTube
Watch “Ride of the Valkyries” on YouTube
Watch “Nibelungen” on YouTube
Watch “Who Is The REAL Zrcalo?” on YouTube
Watch “Still Young” on YouTube
Watch “The Cat Empire – Prophets In The Sky (Official Audio)” on YouTube
Watch “Amsterdam” on YouTube
Watch “Amsterdam” on YouTube
Watch “CHRIS RAIN – Amsterdam [Lyrics x AMV]” on YouTube
So waht
Social pracipitation projects do i wanna put up
Like i will make a list or something
Watch “Which Incapacitating Agent is the Most Effective?” on YouTube
Clip smk
Watch “Which Chemical is the Worst Carcinogen?” on YouTube
Watch “When Your Coworker Shows You His Dog” on YouTube
Can
Someone finally slay me with a sword?
Like i am at that, but like bleh~

I am dead, now i s l eeep
Btw i am not any fool, i am a holy fool
Bc i got the appeal to respondsebility in my functions
Btw like i said before why i dont vote, like i am German, the political stuff is not really my regard, bc from a systematic perspective, it will not make a difference bc of population numbers by age, so its not a loaded topic, bc why would i care about politics i have no meaningful vote in
Like u can say, then make your own party and participate, but like no, if everyone votes in their interest, and you make a party, defined vague as representing the wants of the younger generation, then that party will still never be at any point to change anything, untill that generation is almost dead anyways, defeating the whole point for starting it, like there is systematically no reason to participate for me or regard that entire system, bc why would i
But like posting peterson, is generally seen as a political statement by ppl in the us, but like differentiating by politics like that
Like the other side also has good ideas, but idk they are so bad at stating clearly what they mean without loading it to hell with ideology
And going out of that again, like making something complex simple, without loosing data, but distilling it, is hard, and thats why its valuable
I will be interested in everything which does that
Like it may be pretty ideology, but mostly its the same cookie cutter ideas
Btw, in the us, its not dualistic, you have the option to choose a 3rd party as far as i know, but obviously neither side is mentioning that
The wound
Is slowly closing up
Like you can still see where the impurity is, but its getting better
Like its so white, bc the skin there is dry, bc it was under another skin layer
Like everything around it, has regrown the lower layers and is just missing the top part
The next time, it has probably done the top layer, and the lower layers of the white part, and that shouldn’t be white anymore, bc its exposed to the creme directly and gets some moisture
Ill see if i can switch to wound healing creme next time if its only top layer missing and the impuritys got pushed out well
Maybe it wasnt a impurity but just the deepest point where it was missing skin

Idk
This telemarketing sales culture, to me feels like
Ppl saw wolf of Wallstreet and went, thats cool, i wanna do that
But didn’t adjust for time
Like back then ppl were still hyped to buy stocks, and telemarketing was not as known, and generally no internet as today
Like it was quite a different world
Like your grandmother is on edge about ppl calling, i am not even picking up my phone, like its not the same territory
Also like i dont think ppl have the motivation by reward, or the amounts of cocain to do that
Like they got the job, so they might as well buffet this stuff
Like its still great fun
But like the small linguistics are the last 10% for optimization
90% are beeing in the right time at the right place
Like young guys go ham on that obviously, bc male brain and narrative
Like i am just a old fox~ if you give me 200000 i am gonna look at you in horror bc of the responsebility probably associated with it
But like possible, but not anywhere someone made a movie about it, rn or, back 30 years ago
Like if it works, bc the market is not saturated, meaning ppl don’t know about it yet
Idk i have
Such a odd relationship to uppers, coffeeine makes me sleepy
Ritalin does too
Really dont like opiates, like dont like dex, meaning codeine
Idk odd high, really not my cake, but interesting dreams, but odd colors
Speed makes me neurotic
Weed is dope
Cocain is really yellow, i like that, like the feeling is yellow
I see
They still haven’t changed the naming thing
Like they want like 500-1000 to change your name and 2 indipendent ppl agreeing you are trans and asking questions
Like they proposed, that you can just register it, like you would register anything else
Like with the hormones and stuff, like i am just changing the name everywhere
Like if reality changes and your burocracy is not keeping up, thats not the issue of reality
Like i am just editing stuff
Like i will look like a girl, everyone subjectively looking at it will see why i changed that without any issue
Like you may say, i can’t do that with a official document
Well, sticker printer go brrrr
Like it will cause all sorts of issues
Like yes, thats the point 😀
And i will ignore all of them on purpose :p
Like you tracking what i am doing is not really my concern
Like that person stopped existing, if you insist, it does, like have fun tracking that person
I am giving out my new name
Like i could just buy another passport, but i think a sticker does the same
Like i am just telling ppl i am transgender, that person does not exist anymore, its the new name
And ill let them assume and change things
Like i never said i officially changed that legally, but all your official records are slowly getting rewritten
End even if someone asks specifically
Like i go, yeah they want 1000 for that, thats the new name and just sit on that
Like ppl can see how stupid that is themselves
Like its the same as me walking into places
If someone asks, like i just walked in, i just changed it
Oh
I just noticed, i can do voice overs too
Like i have options
But like things are slow bc i just got hit by something again
Like i am still cautious
I need my buffer, get my money, from working and have the cryo payed, car gone, have my hormones
Like from there i can work on whatever
Like i was just getting comfy~
Like today after working, i just sleep till i am done, clean and see really slowly what i do with this mess
Like i am glad my rate is increasing every week, bc this life is deadly
Like having that, and soon the big ticket art items, is so motivating
Like that would be market manipulation in any other industry
But art has no intrensic value and is hard to value in general
So if i offer something for that price, and someone buys it for that price, thats what its worth
Like its a interesting opportunity
Bc if it establishes itself in the market by any means, suddenly all my art is measured by that value
Everything i make gets a buff, just by that existing in my store
Like even if its not selling, it existence is still casting a shadow on everything else
Like if you walk into a store and you see those big ticket items
Like you may not be able to get them, but it makes everything in that store quite fancy
Like if i have a buffer
I am not planning on moving, no car
Like i am chilling in a good place
Like idk i chill, edit some videos, meet new ppl, smoke weed and make art
Like my long term success is the same as my short term success
Like if things are in place, like who has will be given
If the side business snaps in, the rest does too
Like i wasnt planning on staying
This long where i am
But then pandemic and prices doubled
So everything got shuffled a bit
So like when i get my buffer
Then i can calculate how much money i am missing to move and make adjustments
And like put the side business stuff into motion
Okai, so what else do
I do besides not dying
Art is included in the business model, drugs is included,
I would really like the social participation projects

Psychologycal should be good with the transgender
The wand fills sex, bed i recently fixed, so thats good, i added the light to the toilet, added the air filters etc, food i can upgrade, water is good, blood test was good
Safety, i need to do the general checkup, and have the side business before moving, also smoking gone
Love, i need to work on, like i placed the furry thing there exactly to stabalize that
But like it will be meeting ppl in the new city close to where i am living
Esteem layer is done with the social participation project
I am quite confident, and self esteem is not something i am missing :p respect of others is in the working
Btw thats Maslows hyrarchy of needs
Like its only a reference, but like i said before, just use the map ^~^
Like if everything goes well, ill move, run my business till it eats the job and make friends and stuff
I am confused
Its recognizing it as a usb device, but not giving it a port

Watch “Atlantis” on YouTube
Watch “Dark Aether” on YouTube
Watch “[Official] Team Grimoire – Astaroth(game ver.) [from Lanota]” on YouTube
Watch “[Official] Team Grimoire – Rrhar’il (game ver.)[from Phigros]” on YouTube
Watch “Team Grimoire – Restriction” on YouTube
Watch “Dirty Little Animals (from the series Arcane League of Legends)” on YouTube
Watch “Misfit Toys (from the series Arcane League of Legends)” on YouTube
Watch “Denzel Curry, Gizzle, Bren Joy – Dynasties & Dystopia | Arcane League of Legends | Riot Games Music” on YouTube
Watch “$LOTHBOI – Blood Play [Lyrics x AMV]” on YouTube
Watch “YCK – Inhumane” on YouTube
Watch “YCK – HYSTERIA [Lyrics x AMV]” on YouTube
Watch “Who Watches the Watchers” on YouTube
Watch “Next Tuesday” on YouTube
Total Synthesis of LSD
Like
What comfortable in selling means is debatable
Like it can be a Gilgamesh broing up of 2 ruff guys to kill a beast
Or like i use it just a honest emotional connection of childlike happiness
Like the question of is that real or played
Idk i have already forgotten what i am doing and am lost in the moment
I realized something
A moment is a black box
Thats done in programming as a thinking help
You are not a servant to time and its not running away
Bc there is no object to reference there
There is no a time
Like yes there are differences between set parameters
But there is no god given time
Like i cant really get the concept down rn, but i needed to note something before its gone
I swear
I do whatever all day
I work a bit and am dead
Like its not bad work
Like i had a girl beeing really happy i called again
Like her husband had this tone in his voice of like, wife, have you gone mad, why are you so exited about this random questionnaire person calling
Like she was pleasant ^~^
Like its one of these hard selling industries
The most secret technique for hard sells is
Just creating a pleasant environment where ppl actually want to talk to you
Like you dont buy from someone you dont like
So like just Vibing is actually a good sales tactic
I said it before, idk why ppl would listen to me about sales advice:p
But like its so interesting to see ppl try to figure out tricks and stuff, like just asking nicely for something probably works most of the time
And if not.. Idk start a holy crusade:D
Like i am a brat, but like leave them there, with the offer open if they decide they wanna come back later, like no pressure
Like Your doctor is not hard selling you, and if he is, he is telling you are gonna die
Like i said nothing about lying
Like i understand how to do that thing of being nice, i just forget it always, besides like 3% of the time
Like lets see if the hormones flip that ratio^~^
Oh btw when i was working full time back then , i was drugged up to hell with a mixture of things most ppl probably never heard of
Like i was just chilling collecting plants in the forest all day
Like i am not good at it, but like some basics i get, and its chill, especially when completely high out of your mind
And i think was growing mushrooms and ergot again back then in a dream
Coffeeine
Makes me so sleepy ~
I am slowly getting into
My new pattern
I would like to get the sub pattern working too
Watch “Many Worlds” on YouTube
Github
I will work on it from time to time

https://github.com/acidentalLia/ACIDentalDE_s-guide-to-LSD/blob/main/README.md
I still think
We should attach acid to fitness
Like i recently had a dream where i gave someone a hit, and the next time i was there, their apartment was all clean
Like it fixes your patterns
So if you can add something like running to microdosing, like its the same idea as all those sport shoe brands
Like it needs some sort of mythos to guide ppl
Like attaching a sport routine, will stabalize the individual taking it
Like you dont want to trash it with ideologys, but like some basic stabalizers
Sport, food, water, breathing
Basic tools for routine implementation
Like it needs to be put together nicely, but like some basics, and let the next generation build upon that after they tested it
Like the drug war eradicated the guiding paradigms we had for drug use
It deleted the traditions
Its like giving ppl alcohol but without anyone actually knowing something about it, or something to reference
Like when the Europeans came to America, baught alcohol, and ppl were just mad drunks, bc they had no cultural refferencing to guide them
Like embed it in the systematic cyper paradigm of the next cycle, so ppl intuitively understand how to use it
So they can just get the docs on acid
Actually i should make that, make a github about acid basics
So like, they can just pull the mindframe from the package repository
Like i am sitting on the namespace authority to do that
And i have the practical understanding
With the historical background
Like put that on the list
U know
The psychedelic thing also brings something else
A strange trust which i call
Everything is as it should be
Like you can call it a faith in god if you go a century back
Like its really calming
Like its explainable, but ill just declare it mystic for now for lazyness sake
I think i have understood something
Having like 10 ppl read your stuff/talk bout you at most moments
Like thats mad
It made me understand something
Using that to just sell something is misunderstanding what you have been given
Like it would be such a waste of human attention
I will restructure a bit, to include projects where ppl can participate
Like if you look at the number, ppl become numbers
But like i am usually not looking at my statistics, i am reading the general social field by intuition
So i will try to make sure i dont overlook where the actual value lies in what i am doing
Like money is a measure of value, not the value itself
Watch “KOLLEGAH – ZEITGEIST (Official Video)” on YouTube
Watch “YTCracker – Choose A File” on YouTube
Watch “nXggXrla tXsla” on YouTube
Neko


Holy
I have actually ppl watching 0-0


Thats so scary~

I will try to keep not checking my stats, thats so odd~
Like i am a site, in the middle of nowhere without any social media presence
Like it sounds great, yaay i get more ppl, but that also means, oh no i am getting more influence and responsibility ~
Like those are not, i clicked a cat video and somehow ended up there ppl~
Like thats so scary
Okai, next thing
You remember the morning wakeup playlist i made some time ago?
I can now take that, connect it to the smarthome and play it when i am supposed to wake up
Like the stuff/packages i do, goes to different times and places
Like its not linear, its multidimensional
Then i can subdivide that timeframe with the leds into work and non work
Btw the thing i said about the job not paying enaugh
I got that job, bc of how flexible i cam do shifts and stuff
Like i would be contradicting why i got that kinda job in the first place, if i would work all days all hours~
Bout 20 days of smoking left~
Okai, next thing
You remember the morning wakeup playlist i made some time ago?
I can now take that, connect it to the smarthome and play it when i am supposed to wake up
Like the stuff/packages i do, goes to different times and places
Like its not linear, its multidimensional
Btw the thing i said about the job not paying enaugh
I got that job, bc of how flexible i cam do shifts and stuff
Like i would be contradicting why i got that kinda job in the first place, if i would work all days all hours~
Watch “HYPERDRIVE – Epic Powerful Futuristic Music Mix | Epic Sci-Fi Hybrid Music” on YouTube
Watch “Talos” on YouTube
Watch “FURRY CONVENTIONS NEED THESE! (seriously)” on YouTube
Its quite funny
So i was getting into my new morning routine
And it was automatically raising confusion, bc my clothes were not prepared
Like i previously had those routines chained, so it was automatically expecting clothes to be ready, and got confused 😀
Like i had all my routines in place was working full time and i just got so massively bored by having everything aligned and nothing really happening that i started traveling again:p
Like i need a bigger city with stuff and ppl to do to keep me entertained
Like you could have snorted coke from that apartment floor towards the end without any worries, i was so bored
Like i said it before
Creative ppl are sorting machines, we just oversort into infinity
The automatic light
Works, and its so bright ~
Watch “Build Solana Anchor Blog with Svelte Front end Tutorial – Part 1 (Rust)” on YouTube
Watch “Build a Blog App with Solana & React (Solana CRUD 101)” on YouTube
i am stupid, i asked for
Solidity instead of solana, like its not a loss by any means
Also i think i found what i am looking for

Like it helped me lots bc their explanation of how to translate that was quite good
Watch “Safety Isn’t Optional – PPE Tierlist” on YouTube
Zombies
Chain




I am done working
And for some reason i have a craving for hardboiled eggs~
Like my manager is great, cant complain about him
Also i just called someone, and they were like older and didn’t understand
And girl went
What was she asking
Like female works if i want to
Like i just
Go and set a new routine in place,
Like this should be a lot easier than things are
Like ppl usually take weeks or months to like pick up a new habit
I just go, lets put that there, and that there
Like something is not working there and its not the pattern setting
Bc i also have a quite rapid learning curve in comparison
Like looking at the parts itself, like things should be really easy, and them not beeing is a bit odd
Like me beeing smart is not even a question at this point, its just self evident
Which makes this even more odd
Like my mum had this moment of
Hes smart, and her partner was like
Yeah
And my mum replied
Like yeah but you can see it so much
Which like, yeah its so self evident
That you cant really blame something beeing off on just beeing stupid
Like if it was something i could fix, i would probably already know about it and had solved it 20 times over
Like i am so curious if i am right with the transgender stuff
Like i have gone this far, there must be some motivation, but also i am just generally curious
But like it does not seem like a good deal on a rational level, so me beeing so insistent, despite that, makes me feel quite confident in there being something worth more than the drawbacks associated with it
Like if it were ideological, it would have been dissolved 10 tabs back
Like i am not that insistent with anything which brings me money, where i am literally offered a monetary reward
Watch “MASTER BOOT RECORD – INTERNET PROTOCOL” on YouTube
Can i just say
How practical my behavior is
Like i get mad and start cleaning
Like its so productive :p
Like its definitely not a healthy mindstate but such a good pattern:D
Like the thing is if i would stay and think forever about what i did wrong, like in that time i would have probably already distributed weapons, drugs and ideology
So like i just move on like nothing happened
Like i said it before, i had a girl who got so irritated by me just moving of when i did something wrong
Like its also why i use the brat
Bc its also defined as someone who does something wrong and does not correct their behavior
Like i am correcting it with a wide cycle so it does not fit perfectly, but about
Like i have already forgotten what i did a hour ago, and thats probably not a bad thing :p
Like i am at the same time trying to distribute deadly things while fixing all my patterns, like ill just stop questioning that
Like i cant tell if thats a good pattern or not
Like it looks really paradoxical
Okai
The girl from my work was actually quite helpful^~^
Like they are paying later, like i suspected, but i am getting part of it and the rest comes next month
Also she told me the insurances might me leaniant about 1 month
Like she gave me a for, which i have already filled out, like i need some number, which i need to get, but besides that its already done
Like thats not the worst case, i am happy^~^
Now i need to do the other side with the soc insurance and see if they can do something
Like girl didn’t mention the contract tho~
Like she was really helping so her focus was on point
Lets see how that develops
Like at some point i should get that insurance money, so i can balance a bit more, and next month i should get more money + some money from this month
So like i still want 3 months of rent before i move
So if nothing odd happens again or related, i should still be in my timeframe
Like i am moving when i have the side job of for instance video editing doing something, like thats a requirement
Like i could survive without it, but if i am setting myself up for a new life in a new city, i want to include that as a starting point
Going into thay smoking
Like it is left vague on purpose
Like i cant image it beeing that more harmful than a normal girl smoking
But like its a good marker
Like i can just walk over that if i want to, but its actually like the best opportunity
Like you will not have more patterns changing ever, if you dont stop there, you might as well smoke into your grave
But like that my standpoint, normal ppl just get scared and stop smoking or fall back in fear, bc appeal to authority bleh, idk what that means, better stop
Like its scaring ppl into something but for the best reason
In ter3of
Business stuff
Like i will keep onti that pricing and art stuff, thats good
Like your not gonna get simpler than thee entire business model beeing your pricing
Like there are less points of failure
I can drag it along without much issue
The video editing actually fits in my existing frame, bc i was looking for services to sell
Which i now found and can add to my planning as invisoned.
So. Like i have cashflow one, and a long term one which just grows with my general influence
Like ontop of that i can add the ai products if i want, but i would like at least 3 open services
Like things should get like 20 times easier with the hormones if they work like i suspect
Like if you reading my stuff, then i have cemented it quite good with a association of medial treatment and a medical issue exeption into your worldview
But thats actually not saying more than i get a behavior exeption
Like if i am right for good reason
Like its also what i heard rumored by trans ppl
Like they go
Wait, this is how ppl are living? Thats easy mode, have i just been playing on hard:p
Like its like when you stop smoking and you suddenly have a lot more oxygen in your blood to work with
Like thats the second perk i get
Like compared to now, things should be easy
Watch “Making PhB(Epin) – The Most Useful Reagent of the Year?” on YouTube
Watch “confidence (Awakesy! Remix)” on YouTube
Watch “Into Darkness” on YouTube
Watch “Terminus” on YouTube
Watch “Take a Nap” on YouTube
Btw
Iq has no relationship to impulsivity
And i know i can manage emotions
So like i am quite curious if the hormones fix that, bc something is odd there
Btw
With the hormones i am also removing the insurance for like legal stuff
Bc like i am not that involved in anything
Like if they raise a issue about weed, like thats cool, but like the hardest thing about that is not beeing able to drive, which i commented out
Like if i wanna drive, i will drive like ur not stopping me, but like in theory
Okai i am
Calm again, and the apartment got cleaner thats good
Like if i get to cleaning the car, and putting the other card back into the system, then i am happy
It should
Not be the cable, it takes my phone just fine
The board
Is not showing up on my usb connection, i might need a different cable, like i tried 2,but they are know for that
Everything is prepared
Washing face, brushing hair and teeth , shaving, cream stuff for water in te skin
Installing,
Now lets implement a morning routine
Okai
I have a alarm set, and my lamp automatically goes on wheb uts time to wake up
Now i wire the board for the leds
But i can put in a shift om the day i usually dont work at, so i habe 5 days
J

Nah, its stupid to work more, they dont pay enough for that
I do 2 days with 2 shifts, and wait for a situation update, then i can still go up
Else i just destroy the pattern i built
Ah i cant put in the thift for the next week
Like if i add a extra shift whis week
i just kill my pattern completely
Its more expensive to deal with the fallout than to do it next week
I will implement a strict
Sleep cycle with ungodly amounts of pure coffeeine
I might be a bit unbalanced sometimes
Like just staying awake is less effective than having good sleep
I will push shifts up to 5 days a week, 2 shifts a day
And put in the video editing cluster

I am really
Tempted rn
To buy a bunch of cocain with a stolen card to fund my crusade
But thats just the shock, i will chill for now i can still do that later if i want to
Like its no issue when i dont care about my opsec
Like if i dont care about beeing caught like i can get that asap, its just all my abstraction layers and security mechanisms slowing things down and making stuff hard
But like i keep my paws low for now and maybe order some diapers
And wait how things actually present themselves
Like bellum romanum is bellum romanum
Like it mixes so greatly with too much cocain
Like i could just postpone beeing a girl and chilling for a bit

Like theoretically the contract should have nothing to do
With the hours, its written on the amount, i should still have gotten that
Same with the money
Like things should look okay, bc silvester was 1 week free from their side, and next week i have 1 shift more as standard
So things should work out long term
Still, if i wasnt registered for that time, that will cause issues, and delay my plans again
I will put the video editing in motion as soon as possible as this is handled and extend to other services rapidly
Okai
How do i start
First i need to get a risk assessment about how high the fallout would be from the social insurance
Then i talk to my company so they handle that contract
I do everything as it stands to its best, and if thats not enough i start disassembing the social structure
Told ya i dont trust it
Watch “Alle Macht den Drogen” on YouTube
Nah
Its heroin and metamphetamines
Also crack

Watch “Sxmpra X Teddy Slugz – BITE BACK!” on YouTube
Watch “Haze – Guten Abend Hip Hop (Intro) (Karlsruher Schule) (2014)” on YouTube
I am in trouble again
I knew something was off
So like arround Christmas there was no work, so my hour are not enaugh
Like so the job probably did not register me for the insurance
Like they sent me a form for a mini job, which is useless for me, bc no insurance is covered
So this might conflict with my general plans
I will calculate how much it will cost to not produce a amount of guns
There are certainly some guys around angry at something
So ill give it a honest effort ^~^
If that doesn’t work, i go make some presents to some guys
ignore the emotional fallout and watch the chaos
So lets get so solving this:)
Also like is there something more socially destructive than meth?
Like yeah i see that, dont care
Also someone needs to show all these ppl how to use stolen credit cards
I need to get some weed before i do something in a ineffective way
Ah,
Lost purpose again, i really need to chill till the hormones
Watch “Zimbabwe – How NOT to Run an Economy” on YouTube
Watch “Unapologetic” on YouTube
Watch “Jewels” on YouTube
Like as a artist
I can complain about art beeing used as a asset for investing
Or i just use a frame which creates investment oppertunitys for ppl:p
Like the value will inevitably rise, bc i am putting the prices up each week
And obviously i start each new art pice with the price of my general rate this week and increase from there
Actually, let me crank the weekly up rate to 110,so it multiplies at a factor instead of linear
Watch “LUVLEE” on YouTube
Watch “Extragalactic” on YouTube
Actually, in terms
Of pricing
Lemme just raise my price by 100 each week or 2 weeks automatically to create urgency:p
So i was at 12.500/h this week, so next week its 12.600/h
Lets sell art for the same rate, meaning increasing my arts price each week by 100
Watch “I DONT SUPPORT NEKOZUNA ANYMORE” on YouTube
Okai
I will need to have a word with my work
They have not send me my work contract
And they send me the paper with what i am beeing payed, with the time for payment ending today
They have not payed, i asked and they received me sending the contract
If they dont get their stuff done i will need to stop working
Like they had over a month to sort it out, i wanna know where it is, i am not happy with that
Like i dont care, but other burocracy ppl need it
Like i need to seriously talk with my manager tomorrow or there will be a issue.
Like their adress is at a university, i don’t think its that they dont, they just probably got the office management of a university
Like thats fine by me, but burocracy is a network so preasure is relayed
Can i finally get a break from this stuff~
I should really have chosen crime
There is
Another smart home thing i want to make


Like u get what i am thinking