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If i am not

Really careful with working, i will blow up my system, even with swimming in there,

It just messes up my time, driving is just too expensive on recourses and time

I will get more wiggle room with the hormones, but for now i need to move really carefully with the momentum increase i get

Things are already getting lost, things are left undone, I still got burocraccy trailing me

This will be tricky to pull off, but at least i got a solution in sight this time

Like i am at the limit of my temporal – spacial capacitys

Just bc working is not scaling with effort/recources like everything else

With remote work, i can kill a lot of processes used for keeping up with the general public and not stepping over the boundaries of the company place i am in while working, too much

Like i am already walking the border there, like i get the job, its not the job itself thats not working, its me not fitting whith most jobs

I just happen to be a social brat, or in employment terms, i am quite disagreeable by nature

Thats great if you need someone to mercilessly fure employees, but trouble in low Positions

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Are you mad?

2000 for them basically calling you whenever they please, fuck off cunt

Lemme just

However got a interview with not that company^~^

Btw if you are applying for a specific field, not like me general, go and make a add for that job, or copy one loosely, and collect all the applications of your competition

And then glue together yours for maximum profit

Ask them for what they want to be payed for bonus points

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That idea that psychedelic drugs do like cartoon stuff visually

Did you notice that where you got that idea, probably came from a cartoon show

So a cartoon caracter having a cartoon trip, is a real life trip for that char

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I need

To work on my perception

Like just become really perceptive in reading small clues in general, and quite rapidly

Also i need to so talk to more furrys again

I think what makes me go creazy is beeing close to the general public too often

Probably a peer group thing, to avoid calling anyone anything

I set swimming to next week, put walking in for now, and do resume tomorrow, to have that ready, also i think there is some burocraccy trailing me, i need to sever that

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Was a thing with salesfox

We were buying unnamed from someone he knew, he saw my fox ear hat and decided to invite us into his place, like u dont just randomly let ppl into your apartment, but like ppl know what i am when they see me

And like he was selling a asset and i was curious to buy, bc i could setup a route with someone to accept xmr as payment

He was basically a psychedelic person, so haggling prices was inverted

Like he sarted with, pay what you think its worth

And i just loudly exclaimed

Great, now its a judgement of my character

So we were going back and forth between trying to give the other a better position

Like no, i insist on paying more

No, i insist you pay less

Like there was some stuff in there, like he labled his premade packages with content num, so i asked if he counted in the packaging, which he did, he offered to open one, like they were sealed professionally, and i obviously declined, but like we were haggling so i noted it in the conversation, and we basically did stuff like that

And like salesfox was watching from the sidelines, bc you rarely get 2 see 2 psychedelic ppl do something like this

Bc both are quite aware that its a game, and both know how to sell, and work morality

I think it kinda refactored how he saw, how business works, like it was quite fun for me, i payed a good amount for it, like i dont want to low ball someone i might do future business with, that i can trade with on that level

Like i think salesfox tried to implement the same thing, like it happened a while ago, and i just went,

yes, i take that offer ^~^

Which confused him, and he tried to adjust

Like he saw the pattern and tried to replicate it, but he did not see the entire substructure, like there was a trade relationship with that person for the long term, which was talked about, but he probably only got the short term trade

Like there were multiple trades going on at the same time there, but he only got me trying to buy 1 thing in a quite new dynamic for him

So he tried to do it on a small trade to test it, which is not why that looks like that

Btw i heard quite some bad news about him, like i asked him how he is doing and he didnt mention it

But like i obviously get info sometimes

Like he decided not to tell me, i usually check in with ppl after some time

Like i cant force him to tell me, but he does not seem to want to talk about it

Like its unfortunate, bc from what i heard, it should be causing quite some mental disequilibrium

Like i like to help ppl, i dont like to know someone is suffering, like there is a difference between me hurting someone for pleasure bc i work threw something, or that person just beeing eaten by reality

Like i am still empathic as hell, and like genuinely care about ppl and try to help where i can

Like i tried if i can go arround that, but i cant, it would be so convenient to be a psychopath, but unfortunately not

Hope he manages

Like i saw that pattern and knew it would cause trouble, but its the sub pattern of a bigger pattern, the pattern why i recommend him to his ex

Like we have this pattern of drawing on acid, like 1 person draws something on a page, then the next person continues with that, than the first person again etc

Like his stuff, as a artist, he is in such a hole, reading his images, like lets just call them dark

So i would just draw happy and cute stuff out of this stuff to like counter that, but like i know which pattern that is, and i think the only person who can fix that is him

Like years ago i got him to fix his family stuff, and he was like happy and thanking me even years later, but like it devolved back into what it was, like that needs upkeep, like i should do that too, and i know it, but i am kinda trying to jump stuff rn

But like yeah i tried, but he is the person to fix that

Maybe its what he needs to get moving

Like there is ppl arround with loose patterns that sometimes need a spanking and that will help them

Like i usually got too much intention in what i am doing for that

Like if i am doing something wrong, i usually know it quite well

Like oh yeah, i am mad at that, so i took that limiter out to relay it back onto the structure

Btw those limiters

Bc, its like that bc thats the rules does not really work with me, bc i have seen the substructure

I need to flag and limit everything i dont want to do, myself

But it also means i can take it out if i want /need to

Like the pattern is usually limited for a reason so i try not to carelessly take them out

Its like the thing with sharky, i have that limiter set different with guys than with girls, like if i am ruffer while sex with a guy, they are more likely to handle it

But a girl may easily get ptsd to a past guy, so even if a girl says she likes it ruff, i am more careful than i would be with a guy

Like i said, if transgender is a real concept, then that also means there is a difference in girl and boys, so i limit differently there

Like there are overall limiters in that, bc fuck i will bite threw your neck, but thats not what we want

Like a smart girl can play on that level and knows how to manage that and play off that energy, but for most ppl that territory is quite off limits

Like its also respse time, you need to be quick enaugh to not get killed there, and thats kinda what makes it fun if you can play on that level

Its like

You were not holding back that was scary

You are still alive without limiter

That was fun, lets play like this


Posted on

God sales ppl

Expand the customer base with exiting high flow characteristics of market based ventures, driving high energy new capital markets, to generate crystal synergies

Like its still readable in this case, but like their language is like a energy crystal is rap batteling a falcon

Applied anyways, without reading it^~^

Also i am tripping, i am kinda confused by language rn, but also good at it, which is confusing

So normal tripping

Like i can do the language but i am happy that job is remote

Like i have no idea if that is cold calling, which i reject on impuls, or doing something, whatever

Like idc they pay like 4000, ill do cold calls for that

Like idc what i do if its payed good, like you are sorting me, we have a trial period if things dont work out, but i get money for that time anyways, so fire me after 2 weeks and give me the 2000, thats fine by me

Like i just go and play

The World is a odd place, and i am in a good position looking for those jobs

Like i can probably do the job, which i havent read,

But none of us knows that till i actually try doing the job

Like this whole getting jobs thing is more like roleplaying

Fuck, companies get so big, and some ppl dont even know what they are doing, or like there is like a quota or statistic to be met, like there are multiple reasons for stuff

Like i am just a mad person, or stupid

Idcare about the rules, i just do stuff, and end up somewhere

So as long as i do that in a target range with high payout, it doesnt really matter where i end up, it does what i need it for rn

Like ppl are really serious, i am not really, but i can play “really serious”

Like this wiggle room, is just a inherant quality of reality, bc all those structures are kinda made up, like math is, but they also somehow do stuff, but we dont know why it does what i does.

With social stuff, roleplaying is kinda the same

Like the world is a playground, some kids claim they are this role, others claim they are this, but children are not that serious about it, i guess its death making that, however

Same basic principle besides ppl leaving games, so like wiggle room, like as long as you are not scared by big words, you’ll be doing something

Like you get what you aim for, and if you aim low, you get low, so just aim high

And you`ll get high*giggles*:p

Like its that simple

Like its not easy, but like your not in a hurry, you have nothing better to do than take drugs

Get the frustration from working, remanifest it as motivational energy to do stuff, and soon you can sacrifice that part on the altar

And your where you aimed

I am tripping, ill enjoy my trip now

Also like its a sales job, a lot of those are beeing overly confident, which i am

Like there are businesses which calculate in beeing closed down, to open the next business, startups, which intend on beeing constantly in the red as a business model

Like the marketplace is a mess, which is great for me^~^

Like different companies are using different metrics to hire the same positions, if we knew who we are looking for we would hire those ppl and not have to fire anyone, but like we have no real clue of whats going on untill we test, like we dont want stupid ppl or ppl which dont show up, but beyond that, all those things basically do nothing besides creating a feeling of security

At the end its just gut feeling, but ppl need stuff to point to if that person was a bad pick

Also have you heard how qualified ppl out of university are for their company jobs, and how they need no additional training, companies are just so happy with that,

yeah me neither

Living is trial and error, but ppl dont like that

Like ppl have this grow up and be an adult mindset and what they mean is, accept that things are a certain way and we know whats going on

But like we dont, and you repeating it does not make it that way, even if you believe whoever told you that

But like there is a lot resting on that idea, like the value of money and the law

Like we can pretend, but like if we are real, no, not at all, go look at it yourself and show me, ill be waiting

Posted on


Made a design deal for 150

Base packaging was 42,is payed with 45

For the packaging agreed price is

150 with design done and ready to ship

Like its too early rn to think about packaging, but if the time comes, we can work on the design and the 100 will be payed, maybe 105

Like he wants to do business, so i was like, lets handle it like a business and go over the prices for me desining for you

If he needs anything designed he knows who to call

Like we are doing general business, but bc i have the skills, i can side quest upsell other stuff

Like dont be shy to ask for money, if they want to be a business, you charge them like one

Btw that deal was done with me wearing a diaper and no one besides me knew^~^

With things like designs where you dont have a inherant material value

You use their numbers

Like he told me how much he is expecting to make

So i took a calculator and calculated the price down

150 may look big on its own, but it looks small in comparison to his sales numbers

So you can see someone thinking, oh thats a lot of money

And i can just answer

Look at you profit, in comparison thats nothing

Also i asked how much is the packaging worth while selling and gave a percentage

Human brains dont do well with percentages

Like no one knows how much difference that makes

But 10% sounds low

But you are taking 10% from his big number and devide it, in this case by the num of packages,

Meaning you have low numbers on the calculator

Oh, thats just 0.2, thats not much, but in the end you obviously do it times the packages number again to give you the total

Like this price is low for packaging design, and i 1/3 it

But lets call that a first time buying discount

If someone is used to buying from you, they will probably stick with you

Like i absolutely love ppl who want to be

“serious business ppl”

Bc it means i can charge you for everything

That how “serious business” is done

Like business is hard bc there are smart ppl arround

Like you owe me money and dont even have your product yet

But also, you want those ppl arround bc they go

There you can make some money

Like business is a interesting game^~^

Bc the value of something is quite arbitrary

Its a game of playing a part

A persona game

Which i got a sorting system with fursonas for^~^

Where is that wolf and spice quote

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Heres the plan

At the end of the mouth i should be so fed up with working that i can take out the limiters

Also my diapers arrived

On which drugs i take and what i do

I will change the outfit to something more fancy to easier manipulate

Meaning speed etc are all back in focus

But doesn’t that make you neurotic?

Yes, yes it does:)

This will not be a journey of sanity

More of a ascent into mania

I get any remote job

And up acid intake to a full tab each 2nd day to keep effects

Also i will probably rant on some streaming site

Dissociate my ego from my actions and just watch things happening

Like you dont have to play, you can also just sit back and watch yourself, living is the same

Today i go swimming after my pizza is done

I need to get my resume

Like a have a working one, i just dont use it~

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You can actually see how bad my spending gets without budgets

I just start throwing money at stuff

Like it has a reason, bc as a business you are trowing a lot of money

Like you cant sit there contemplating every reorder of your product, you just trow stuff

Else you will run out of product

You got bookkeeping and inventory to keep you from throwing too much in the wrong direction

But basically your just trowing money around

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Aah, they

Are no fun

But like strategy seems obvious, like you enter your max amount and it bids automatically

So as a seller, make a buyer account and drive prices up

So i expect somone randomly contacting me, asking, if i wanna buy something

A normal company is usually valued like 3x

I just bid 50 max, like it bids automatically to the best price, for everything small

Like oh you have 10 montly revenue, have 50

And for everything else i just go 100

Like the 100 are unlikely, just to gamble, sometimes you get lucky, but i am not seriously expecting anything from that

But you dont know till you try

Like you are probably not out bidding other ppl, you just bid on a lot of objects within your set budget

Its like, cool 25 a month, that covers swimming

Like i can match those small companies with my budgets

They are like little system building blocks

Like i could build a website for customer area i dont care about, but i dont care

They are already market established blocks i can gamble on, i have the programming ability to completely automate them, and just put them somewhere in my system

Depending on how that works out, you might just see me trading random companies for stuff

Like u wanna buy x

I keep my better price but you get a company ontop

Like its such a novel bargening chip, i love it^~^

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That explanation is bullshit

Everyone i asked agrees, its lsds little sister

Like its lsd, but its a slightly different lsd

So it may be partly converted, but its definitely not

Yeah it’s converted to lsd, and does the same as lsd

Like its beeing picky with language, but the idea of a Prodrug is fishy

Or sloppily defined, sounds good tho

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Scratch cards

So i have been working somewhere selling scratch cards, so i have a strong urge to buy some

So i will just randomly buy some cheap companies

Its basically the same as buying scratch cards

Like theres probably a lot of scams, but i am only buying cheap ones bc i am collecting them like pokemon cards

Its the same idea as scratch cards, but you end up sitting in companies afterwards

Most will be shit but maybe you get lucky

Like i could check bot traffic and stuff, but i am not intending on spending a amount worth the time

I just want to gamble

Like scratch cards are obviously loosing you money

Like i want some real gambling

Like its high level gambling, but basically the same

With the difference that we are talking monthly revenue instead of one time wins

Like i am creative, i am thinking latterly

I want to play scratch cards

Those are shit, what do i want

I wanna gamble

Lets buy some companies

It makes my moves look quite odd, but motivations are usually quite simple

Like i have the raw execution power to just go

Yeah buying a company is bout the same effort as driving to a store and buying scratchcards

Like its just about me getting moving in the first place

All the other stuff will be handled like everything is handled

Like i dont care about the company, i just buy stuff and go

Lets look at what i have actually baught here

I can still resell it if i wanna

If i am lazy i just bundle them and trow them on ebay

Like who knows how the economy works

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After swimming is implemented i will get some

Sex just for mental stability and to enforce the general pattern

Also i would like a girl to double check my mentals

Like they do that automatically by judging you for themselves

Then i will have a look at where i am at, like i got a job, i started the acid selling again, and i am also switching jobs

Besides my normal living

I will trip again on the weekend to manage my emotions, basically just vomit everything on here or to ppl again, and then continue moving, literally and metaphysically

I need to watch out to be honest to the girl about what i am doing, or i just pay a girl

Like it was a normal practice in Freuds time till marriage

Ppl dont have the historical bg to like question paying for that, but its like

No worries, ppl just know the times they are living in, i dont need to mind that

Just if it becomes a habbit, it’s quite a expensive one

And if you have a girl trying to sell and like bond to get you to pay again, you spend so much time on trying to nullify that, like there are obvious trap falls

Like i am too lazy to find someone else anyways, i have stuff to do

Posted on

I cant

Find foofies kigu song

The problem is i have accounts in different languages, so i can basically go arround all kinds of censorship and blocked videos, but i would have to trial and error for which one works

Posted on


Its only stores claiming that, while the rest of the social field seems to be waiting if something actually happens

Like they obviously have a self interest

If worst comes to worst, i can still expand into that legal canabis

Like ppl will buy their drugs like they always did, illegally

Its just convenient for me as a seller^~^

Like i dont think anyone that knows me will doubt i can get drugs if i really want to

Like i will just move latterly threw the social structure and buy them

Like it will get fun if i get a pattern of casually stepping over rules

Its just so much moving~

I dont mind, but i am a lazy brat

Btw the last add was deleted, when i didnt care, probably bc i put it up in the category

“Tickets and events”

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So what are you exactly saying

Like they are referencing something fron 2021

It may be the ergolene one that was just made back then and is now discussed, but that would mean i need to calculate the molecular mass and stuff and see if it applies , but like i cant find it on the 2022 one~

I am confused, is it just a marketing stunt after all, i need to ask mu supplier

Like i have been thinking that since some time, but if i say that, its illegal the next day~

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I want to cry

I am getting quite unstable

What i mean is

The shifts between beeing ok and not beeing ok are getting closer to each other

Meaning the amplitude of the emotional phase shifts is increasing

If it gets too high, at some point my emotional systems wont be able to handle it anymore

The question is how it manifests in 3 dimensional space

Like its me trying to balance the mental/emotional dissonance i get from working

Like thats not healthy

I might leave accidental sways of destruction from time to time

We’ll see

Like training boys to respress emotions is a interesting way of handling things

Like its trained behaviour, but its put in at child psychology level, so its quite nasty to remove

But it also presents a unique opportunity

Its like a capacitor for emotional energy

The issue is the amount i get in my territory

I will constantly overload it

So your spells get quite some noise bc your entire system is basically overloaded

Meaning it ripples threw the structure

Like lighting arching to anything metallic

Like i am just hitting ppl with a high voltage line

Like girls can do small manipulations, but this is quite base level stuff

Like i couldnt exchange them on ayahuasca for something stronger

Lets hope estrogen will work

Like its should basically rewrite every neurotransmitter communicating on a hormonal level, which is a lot of them

Like girls tend to do more small spells faster, to get a big spell, which i think is a lot more efficient than doing a big one, but its definitely a different way of writing

Also tried to rewrite it on mdma, it kinda worked but only temporarily

Posted on

So i have been thinking about


Like i want to put 1 in as a reward somewhere

There are 2 i am currently looking at

1 is basically the wand

You know the massage thing from toyota, but they rebranded it, bc they did not want their brand associated with a sex toy, so it its own brand

But the other side is a normal dildo,

And it has a heating function, so like you got a temperature factor

Like those wands are supreme if you get a good one, also they work great with diapers

And the other one is a knotted one but it also vibrates

Like if you a normal person

Dog penis has this special thing where it expands up to 10 cm at the base, so like the female cant escape for like 20 min, 1 sec

Like why go for a normal one when you can go for a knot

Like it adds extra flair

They are also available with like cum

But i thaugt about that for like 10 sec and was like

It sounds kinky, but you are probably gonna use it 1ce for that bc you are lazy

And like cleaning after sex is like the worst part, i dont think it will stick

Like i am a furry, i have options

Like girls still think they are limited to what is available on amazon, and like just live with standard penis shape

Like theres options

I am probably going for the heated one bc i just ordered diapers

Including a thing for measuring pulse, cost me 20

Bc like its kinda hard to be horny and in diapers without a wand

So i will need one at some point

But i want to use things i want as motivation / rewards

Like image a dildo party

Like what are you gonna offer me? A dick shaped like david backham? Like i got dragons, i think i am fine~

Like it confuses me so much those still exist, like ppl are still so hush about sex that this is of interest, like i get the social aspect, but still, odd to me~

Look this has cute aninal name bc we are rebranding stuff now~

Like dont you ppl have phones? Did they buy your tupperware 10 years ago and you feel guilty?

Am i just kinky? Probably, still, how are ppl living? Like i am so spaced out from standard society, i just hear things ppl do and am confused ~

Like i understand why ppl do things, i just don’t understand why they do things

Like why that of all possibilities

Like you dont see your options?

Do you just buy whats available?

Bc then i have things to sell to you if you just take whatever ~

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About the job

Basically they are donig like Interviews on a specific day where i am not available

So what i did, is just write them if they can reschedule my appointment

Also how i wrote them

I have a specific mail set up for private stuff

Which is named

And has its own carrd website

So i am even with private stuff asking like a business

Like its a part of a larger sorted structure they are contacted by

Bc in the end i would like to have all those mailes delivered to 1 inbox, but i need to setup my mail server for the business mails~

So i can watch like the scrapers, and like use scripts

Oh here came this mail, automatically execute this

Like i could probably do this more professionally, but i like mails, bc i automatically get pushs on my phone

Like businesses usually dont like talking to individuals, and rather prefer other businesses

Also, like it looks quite professional

And like i have my stuff sorted

Like i am getting there, but for now this will suffice

Posted on

The first

Application is outbound

Like why would i work

If i can work from home, get payed double or more

Like it would be stupid not to do that

Like i dont have enaugh lifetime to be contending with low pay jobs

Also like i can probably work high and in diapers

Like ppl usually dont notice i am high bc i still get stuff done

Problem is when you work somewhere and like you smell like weed or something

Its such a upkeep to like make sure you dont smell, and like your eyes look normal

No problem here

I might get fired, but made x more money in that time than working a lower paying job

Also like upper management is high anyways, mure stimulants like coke and stuff, but most are probably high af

And middle wants to be like upper

Btw its a Marketing job, but like instead of doing stuff, i have ppl doing stuff, get delivered reports

Like i plan and make systems about what we do

Like it fits, its what i do anyways

And i got the weirdly high level ego, mixed with absurd creativity, programmer systems planning strategic stuff and the linguistics to sell you whatever i need

Like i can do that

But spare me beeing arround coked out ppl all day every day

Like online is okay, they can call and like we get stuff done, but inhouse,

You need to like eat with them and stuff, and they will randomly drop by, bc they just snorted something and are looking for someone to talk

Bc they blitzkrieged their tasks but now have time left

The environment where

You are expected to be living in the gym for your body to take that lifestyle without flatlining

Also you need sleep/be powered out to work/snort more the next day

Like i was never in that environment, but i know how drugs work, and drugs are usually stronger than ppl in making patterns

Like at those levels the small errors are just casualties of war

If you can manage your platoon without drowning the whole squad, your good

Like if you get hung up on every small thing your just never moving at all

Like a girl was really mad at me for that once

Like, you admit you made errors, but just accept them and move on

Which was like, yeah i am already 10 squares away from those, there is no reason to worry, the past is gone

Like its not kind to do

Like if your moving quite rapidly, ppl better keep up, bc till they figured out what they are going to be mad about, your already gone again

Posted on


So what i am not good at is turning off the alarm

Like its a touchpad without any feedback for the numbers you have pressed

My boss is late

So i basically just woke up everyone ^~^

Like its off now, but like at least i am awake :Dd

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If all goes well

Today, then i have learned most of what i need in this job today

Its day 4

Like its practice, but the basics

And i have the notes of 2 ppl on how things are done

So i can concentrate on getting a remote job

Like the one i tried made me do a internet test

And the test showed the internet was good, it was just under their random specs

Friday or Saturday i go swimming

Today i hopefully order some diapers

24 days till i get my first pay, then i am probably demotivated anyways

And middle wants to be like upper

Posted on

I had like this moment

Working today

So we had a customer and she was super happy and friendly, quite exited actually

So i went looking for something she wanted

When my female coworker came by to see whats going on, like its my first day

And this girl suddenly was completely down and.. Like she just looked like she was not happy about another girl beeing there

Like i can still roll out by, i am a guy, i dont see what females do

But fun to watch^~^

Girl was quite cute

But i am confused why she would react like that to my coworker, like

I am not talking bad about her but she is not my type

Maybe they have some sort of backstory

To admit My coworker has these stressed

I have emotions i cant talk about vibe, like she is not rude, just a general vibe of, i have other things to do you all fuck off

Like i also have better things to do, but i am too lost most of the time to be in that vibe for long ~

Like i know why, but i wont tell

Like i also have quite odd emotional states, but like i can openly talk about whatever

Like ppl know me like that

And i can post whatever, like diary, psychological utility

Like i can start a holy war against something and ppl will be like

Oh its Tuesday already?

Posted on

I just love how that is written

Anime is girlfriend, girlfriend

Ya know, i never had a thing for harem anime, untill i saw this one

Like why would i watch a guy having multiple girlfriends

But watching it, i realised

Wait thats all just female drama

Thats girls plotting stuff

And like arranged around a high value male

Like it makes no sense to me as a guy

But knowing now i am trans

Yeah it makes a lot of sense i responded to that, but not to the male side of that

Like obviously i respnd to a high value male

And obviously i respond to female drama

Like its quite entertaining for me

Like i dont like badly done drama, but i am always up for something elegantly executed

Like i had this moment with my sis

Where we were like at i think chistmas or something with my mum and like ppl

And me and my sis, i was around as a girl, were just sitting there gossiping, and got completely lost untill our mum interrupted bc we were just giggling about stuff

Like i am quite comfy as a girl, it works a lot better somehow

Like me and my sis always kinda did that

And now it makes so much sense

Best moment

We were at a funeral, in the church giggling bc the priest looked like a tortoise with like this overly big golden grales he was drinking out of, like it looked hilarious

Like my socials are questionable

But looking at it knowing now i am trans

Yeah, i can definitely see those patterns

Its like both sides are questioning

Me and other girls

Like does girl work with me in this social situation?

But like as soon as both sides are comfy, and not as on edge about, wait whats this how do i deal with this,

Like girl just works without issues

Like its if i get kicked out of the mindstate, i get as confused as everyone else

, issue is i am not the person for, i am a girl no matter what

Like i am a artist, i will see all visual flaws

Like there is a line to normal girl insecurity, but thats not what i mean

Like i am not stupid, i understand when something throws someone off only a bit even

Like if i know, i know, as much as the person knows

Like i will not ignore that, that sounds delusional

Hormones should fix most of that,

All hail drugs

Especially if they grow entire body parts

Like i usually dont talk about trans social stuff, bc like isnt it evident?

its the same as girl, but getting irritated by beeing male

Like ppl call that dysphoria

Like everyone has Google, its not my job to teach basics

Posted on

Work update

So my work is getting playfully weird:p

I did like money stuff

And i only got 20ct wrong

Like its multiple things doing money stuff and the main thing was right, but the burocraccy of the sub thing was off 20ct, so at the end the money was right

So my boss was telling me i did a good job

So i was like, i appreciate it

Then he was quite exitedly saying it again, a bit more over the top

like you would do with a dog^~^

So i was like

I am not disagreeing, but disagreeing in german mixed with, saying nothing against it, but mixed into 1 short sentences

Then he pulled back and was like

Oh sorry that was like a dog~

And i said the same thing again

I am not disagreeing

But like it may just be me repeating what i said before to him praising me

Later i went home, and like forgot to put my chip thing to the thing when i left

So i wrote him and explained it

And he was like

Bad Lia

Like you would do with a dog:p

My life is odd, but i wouldn’t trade it:Dd

Posted on

My thinking

Is the wrong way arround

I am running after money, thats wrong

I need to swim, its much more efficient

Had a ex doing spot 1ce a week and chill the rest on the couch eating sweets

Much more efficient

Also, i move for better internet to get a remote job which pays better

My internet is good, but under their requirements, bc i already had one of those jobs lined up

I will aim to change jobs and move in 3 months

Money is a measure of worth

Not the other way around

Posted on


I met a new person

Like i was chilling in the morning drinking energy

And this guy was kinda lurking around me

I went for a smoke

And he followed for smoking

So like it was empty bc early

And like i just randomly talked about something

So we got talking bout what we are doing in our lives and stuff

Was chill

Like i somehow attract ppl

And like i am a brat that keeps alone, but like i have no problem talking to ppl

So like i just know random ppl from the most random moments~

We went our ways, bc no one is around that early without a reason

And that was it^~^

Its like, how do you know this person and their entire life story?

Well, i randomly met them somewhere and they just told me

Like ppl meet me at a party and randomly tell me what porn sites they like

Like it happened 1ce, but it was not expected :p

Like i am quite social but i am not social

Idk maybe its just ppl randomly following me and like offering me cars on parking lots of convenience stores:Dd

Like idk, thats just my life, of random ppl randomly showing up

Also like if i am dressed visible, like i have little girls curiously following me arround stores :p

Expand or die

Posted on

Update on the receipt scanner

So i am basically taking a photo with my phone, sending it to my bookkeeping and its converting it to a pdf with text search, which i then cast custom scripts on to get date and price

Date is working, but its mot taking the price on my test reciept

And i think i understand the problem

It has no issues with a perfect scan

But recipes are often crumpled etc

So i will try if i can use a plastic card to pin it down amd the take the image

Why dont i just scan it?

Bc i usually dont carry a full on scanner with me:Dd

But i can carry around a plastic card

Like i want to be able to take a pic with my phone, send it to a mail, scrape the mail attachments via script and have it added to my bookkeeping automatically

Like those dark eco paper ones might cause issues, same if they are not printed properly, but like i cant change that, most should work

So it can send me a mail,

Oh your spending is x% more or less than last month/ week, just periodically on my phone

Like thats what i want to know in the end

I dont care about bookkeeping, i care about getting the info it provides

Posted on


I need to be smart about this

Want do i want min

Apartment, year worth of money, no car, drugs, diapers, hormones

Hormones is on its way, apartment requires 2000, then i can calculate years worth


Lets say bout 20 per month, like i started by just dropping by the 100, but its quite optimised rn

So, 20*12= 220 for diapers

So thats 2220

+ lets say 12x 1500 = 18000

Like that should be okay without a car for a year

Yeah, my goal is still arround 20.000

So lets get the 220

Then the 2200

Then the 20.000

Excluding drugs

Posted on

Oki. So

I was arround some odd alleys again to get acquainted with the territory again

And i am quite comfortable there

Like its hard terrain but the ppl are honest

What i mean is

I think it was in keros leaked chats

Where they took a stick put honey on it, covered it with fire ants and fucked a puppy to death with it

Like its hard territory, but i rather have that person openly tell me they are doing that, than not knowing that

Like okai, i will certainly not give you my dog

Like ppl are in a way quite honest, but the truth of how ppl are is just quite scary

Like even among those ppl i am quite a odd ball of fluff, bc

I am still quite “moral”

Like my internal moral is consistent, i do what i do, like i always do what i do

Other ppl have other morals

So its like

Why are you so caring and trying to be morally sound to yourself while the person there is doing gruesome stuff next to you?

Like i said before, id rather know than not know,

Like prices have to be payed

Also like

I am quite comfortable with those kind of ppl bc i can be quite certain they are not likely to rat you out/turn on you, compared to the general public, whatever you do

Like you can be a “bad” person, but at least be good at it, and keep you systems in check

Make sure your mental health is not too affected, dont use it as a excuse, etc etc

Like i can deals with questionable ppl, but i am quite carefully with incompetent ppl

Bc they will do things without beeing sure they want to do that

Posted on

I broke

It while freeing it, but not bad for a first try, and tastes good^~^

My normal food pods are also filled for the entire week

Buying that chicken was worth it in my view

The bookkeeping is in the computer

Only thing missing now is bread, then i can make all basics in a acceptable level^~^

Besides soups, but i try that with the next chicken~

But i can get tea with sweets, and normal food rolling

Posted on

The problem

With this kind of stuff is

If i go

Oh sowwy, i was just acidentally refining uranium

Like thats a odd argument to make

Like what do you mean accidentally?

You dont just accidentally refine uranium :p

Yeah it happened bc i was not taking drugs


But like its probably what happened, but its completely unbelievable ~

Like ppl understand the concept

Oh you were off your perception medicine, sure that is a valid explanation

But bc illegal drugs are not recognised, they dont make that connection

So explaining to someone why they are stupid is a herulean task, especially if they are like a judge

Like everything is measured against the standard population

Which does not randomly think

Oh yeah refining uranium, thats something i could pull off

Like there is a reason the shamanic person was always a bit outside of the village

The thing is that there are ppl everywhere now, so you gotta live with me doing my stuff with ppl around

Like thats why we have universitys, so i dont blow up the entire neighbourhood

But like the whole thing was so burocratically sealed, that its not attractive to me

Like if i blow stuff up, then in this scenario i am dead anyways, so the person with the problem is likely not me

Like i am not begging to be able to use their stuff

Like u want me to do it absolutely saveley, you come to me and offer me something attractive, as a social institution watching over stuff and give me access

Like i dont care about the social titles anyways

Posted on

Aaah i am stupid

I have been over this

The whole me getting irritated by work and trying to kill ppl a mass is already known

Its derealising, bc of transgender disphoria

Like it was soo strange when i realised that

Like waaaait a moment, that is that, lol

I just keep forgetting stuff i already figured out, when i am not high

Like we will know if hrt helps, else i will just blow up the country or something stupid like that, both are fun^~^

Like i dont mind that much, which is also a transgender symptom

Like the idea you can choose whatever gender you want to be is stupid if hrt works, and i am living proof then

Its just that there is more variation than we expected in the first place

Like its not a dualism

Ppl have been arguing those for ages

We are discussing over Decartes stuff

Like salesfox showed me a philosophy podcast

I did not say anything, but he understood i had something to say i didnt

The thing is it was discussing the surface layer

It was discussing the propaganda, including with transgender stuff

Like you are doing a good job, just not really deeply

The same arguments you have heared since forever regurgitated forever

Like you are discussing based on outdated data, its still valid, but not what we know about stuff

Like you are going over what is already know, but are not pushing the boundary into the unknown

Like no one is waiting for the general public to keep up, like you will be waiting forever if you do that

Like we have scientific information, we can see and test if something is likely or not

Posted on

The first thing

Artists are thaugt is how to draw with pencil

And the explanation is

That is shows you the disconnect between your mind and reality

Its the hand eye coordination which is essentiall for a artist to learn

Bc its opens the gate

Like you will try to draw something and it will not look like in your mind

And the better you get at it, the more it will look like that

But you will sit there like

My body is not doing what my mind is intending it to do, i dont seems to really understand myself

But it also delivers a way to train it

I always say furrys are shamanic

But this is 1 example of why i think that

The social structure rewards ppl for drawing,

Like looking at it, so what if ppl are drawing?

But thats a quite essential tool to understanding and managing reality which is thaught by default

Like you dont have to draw, but you are far more likely to try it if everyone around you is doing it, and you have a persona system which you can modify with it

Like its a structure which rewards you for creating and especially not beeing toxic

Like thats why i like it, bc in this territory you tend to get quite like some yellow striped poisones fish,

So having some positive influence is quite helpful

Like i havent figured out how to constantly do that without it beeing superficial and valueless, but i am getting rewarded by the structure to do it

Like no one can argue against good vibes if they are genuine, but thats the case, they have to be genuine

Or you will just be blind to the mayham you cause while beeing happy and positive

Posted on


My ex was hungry for like some danger and like seeing the real world

After some time she was just mentally shook by my territory

Like thats when i broke up

Like this girl would have followed me into hell, but i cant do that to someone i love

The territory was too much for me, it literally eats you if you do things on that level

Like i am slowly getting there but i am taking all the time in the world

I am really not in a hurry and i really shouldn’t be or things might go really bad

I am 100% in love with what i am generally doing, but there are reasons selling legal acid is a happy go lucky vacation project for me

Like i like that territory so i will always be there, but it will certainly break ppl

Like i move quite laterally threw quite high level and sometimes highly dangerous fields

Like guys are expected and trained to be okay with hard terrain so i am okai with having them arround, but i watch them

But girls i watch quite carefully, like short term occasional,

Wanna come by chilln fuck are okay smoke some

But girls are often looking for long term partners and some get quite desperate bc they constantly get short term stuff

Like i am looking long term, but my territory will break a lot of ppl so i am watching quite carefully to see if someone can take that

Bc girls will go

Oh long term person open

And i check the tests quite easily if i want to, bc a lot of those, like humor are testing for intelligence, but like i am also involved in business so social stuff is also known

So i need to be really careful to throw those girls off by giving either warning or false signals

Like a smart girl who can take that territory will see threw that quite easily

Like my car is a obvious warning flag, but i like it that way, like i could probably get a nicer car quite easily, like its trading, you buy, you sell

But like the idea is to get rid of it long term

I am saying, i could be watching those social flags quite carefully to get more partners, but it does not benefit me if they all break

Like if i find someone i like and who can take the territory i will just adjust all the flags

Like sharky was right, i should not feel responsible for other ppls actions

They make their own decisions

Still i cant help but feel responsible

If i already know it will break someone and i do nothing

Like that requires that i see a scary amount, but that shall be disregarded for sanity

Its not like i am talking theory either, like ppl get quite a liking to me bc i know a lot of the sales tactics, i know a lot of the social stuffies

Like i smell like a competitive advantage which could become useful

Like i am still a social odd Ball thats constantly distracted, bc i am me, but i have seen quite some ppl break by trying something i knew they were not up to

A lot of furrys are somehow living in that territory tho, which is quite interesting

Posted on


Like i had the keybook for chemistry in my possession but it got lost in the mist

Like chemistry is coming from alchemy the ppl which invented encryption

So the entire field is heavily encrypted, also with psychedelic abstractions

I had the book you want

Which deciphers all the technical terms and symbols which are used

It was written boring af, but it was a keybook

Its this one i think, i went over a lot of books, but you need the actual book with the pictures

Like high iq is among other things the ability to abstract

Things like chemistry and math are mostly abstractions

For some ppl it will take longer, bc they have a longer processing speed, but everyone should be able to do it with enough time, theoretically

Chem and math are the high end of the scale, statistically speaking, so for some it will take quite a bit

Like i got like adhd or some and am constantly distracted

Like i am too lazy to memorise stuff if its not taught to me by a technicolor animal

But like the layers, even in chemistry are quite obvious

Like there should be a list for everything, you just need the namespace of where its at

Which does not get easier by things beeing named by who figured them out, it basically requires you to understand the entire corpus of chemical history to decrypt it on the fly

Which i tend to like more than memorising, bc thats how it is written

Posted on


Rid of dead wood is necessary sometimes

Btw bc i am in somehow in the odd position that i am

I you are thinking about making acid

Einstein took 13 trys

From what i was told by someone now in prison

I know who ratted them out, but i promised not to tell

But i understand why, but stupid execution


In my dreams i was just lucky having a erlich reagent respond at all on my first try

Like acid is quite voletile to like everything

But lsa is so beautiful under blacklight

But like chemistry is no joke

Like i had a moment with my ex gf where it was like

Fuck i have done it, i have killed myself

And fell asleep expecting not to wake up again

Like i wrote my will at 17, i am done with this world since some time

Like i am still alive, but like watch out

I am just happy i never have to smell amonia in high concentrations again in my life

Like even with a gas mask that stuff is something else

Like i had a dream where i just fell asleep while making dmt bc i was too damn high

Like hotplates were off etc, i am not stupid, but like never underestimate how stupid you are

This stuff needs your full attention, a proper lab and understanding the theory

Like chemistry can and will kill you

Like i am doing the biggest circle to making damn sure i understand the theory 100% damn proper on a fundamental level before i try anything of that again

Like i absolutely love it to death

But damn Hoffman was a mad man

Posted on


  • Watch “Left Boy – ID” on YouTube

  • Watch “SHAHMEN – Mice (Prod. by SENSE)” on YouTube

  • Watch “FAIRYTALE feat. Zheani” on YouTube

Posted on

Brazenly and on camera, the Russians kidnap orphans from the occupied territories of Ukraine and say that it is “for their good.” The Russian terrorists commit more war crimes by kidnapping Ukrainian children and scattering them across 13 regions of Russia. Reminiscent of Hitler’s Germany.

Brazenly and on camera, the Russians kidnap orphans from the occupied territories of Ukraine and say that it is "for their good." The Russian terrorists commit more war crimes by kidnapping Ukrainian children and scattering them across 13 regions of Russia. Reminiscent of Hitler’s Germany. from ukraine

Yeah those children are gone forever

Posted on

I feeel


Like i can take drugs and do business, be under a lot of pressure

But the minute i am working i just loose it

Like i feel like i am going crazy

If it were only mentally but i have physical responses

The physical ones are less off a worry tho

The problem is that i take out my limiters when i do that,

Like i know the nuclear stuff is not interesting for me, i have gone over that, its already explored, that why i care about fusion

So its marked as not interesting

But as soon as i start working i loose limiters

Like i usually dont start randomly bribing ppl

Like its not about with what i bribe, its that i juse the concept like that to control my social field

Like its hyper ego

Like everything is telling me its the wrong direction but i dont know where else i should go rn

I am starting to be in pain

The archetype is a animal with a splinter in the paw

I think thats the image ppl understand

Like as long as diapers keep me from refining radioactive materials i will buy diapers

Same with all drugs

Like i dont want to be there, and everyone else is probably also happier if i dont play with nuclear stuff, while in pain

But if thats my fate, so be it

Also like, you can wipe out a city with that, but not a country the blast radius is too small, you would need multiple, so something stronger would be more interesting

Like in all those years of drugs i was never really paranoid, but not taking any rn and working i am getting quite paranoid

Like i Label everything i will put a big label on my drug frige saying “illegal drug frige”

But i also am careful in that i was about to bolt down mu door with a metal bar

Like i had big cement screws, solid iron holdings, solid iron bar, etc, i already marked the screw holes at the door, and then i moved

Like if you dont cut open that door you wouldnt get in, like i was planning to reinforce it with iron sheets

But i never felt paranoid

Its just like, yeah thats reasonable if i lable openly like that

But i have nothing illegal going on, and i am starting to get paranoid, like i am not even smoking weed

Like i was completely stable and happy selling acid

I work for 2 days, and i am where i am now

I got some months to go before i can move

And then i need to decide what to do with acid beeing illegal

Like i would say the gods may wish me luck, but i think they are pissed like i stole some fire

The next step is physical shivers with emotional weight, like its a psychological protection mechanism

I can feel that slowly kicking in

Xoxo ACIDental

Posted on


I remember why i never used it

Live it was a gift from my ex and i treasure her for it

Like i still like it, its a cool watch, but its missing the main point, like i get sleep times, which is cool^^

F it, lets just buy a cheap one from china and update later

Love the design tho, not the charging ports, but overall

Btw sharky i appreciate your message a lot<3 i am still busy i will write back soon

Like i love you for sending me that xoxo

It really made my day*-*

Posted on

Smart watch is loading

Added some padding to keep it in exactly the right spot and added the cables

Like its quite tricky bc if its not 100% connected, it will vibrate and trow a fit, and wiggle itself out of the loading thing

Like i would need to sand down the edges of my pins or use a bit of solder at the ends, but it basically works

Now i let it load and see if it actually works^~^

I need to mount it onto like a, a bit heavy base plate to make it stay against the cables rigidity, bc. Its as light as 2 paperclips, bc thats basically what it is~

Actually, its loading too fast, it got like 20% in 30 sec

I am poweing it with a usb port from my laptop, so thats probably 5v, so i am gonna need bout 3 v, or less amps than a usb port~

Maybe its just fast charging the first part, but 30 sec is quite fast fast charging

We’ll see

Posted on

The funny thing is

The diapers i got for free, where i randomly got offered a car for 100 on a parking lot

I got recommended those by a girl on a dating app, but they did not look cute enough

Now i somehow ended up with those anyways

Like they are not bad, just not cute, alsoni miss the solid plastic backing of theore expensive ones

Posted on

Also can i say

Like obviously i wanna fuck my boss

Bc i am a brat and  hes in a position of power

Like power dynamics

But also its like

Oh you are trying to use that sales tactic, isnt that cute

Arent you such a big sales puppy doing big boy psychological manipulation

Oh you are making yourself soo big by referencing that you did that thing

Like i want to pet him

Which is kinda opposite to the first thing

Like my life is hard, bc i am not allowed to overstep boundaries too much

Like i have a habit of just adjusting ppls frames

Like you like those little social games

Look i can shift the entire frame of the social room, without thinking twice, as a foxy, in a diapii, selling acid and cuddling my stuffy daddy

Lets play

Posted on

Bout the bookkeeping

I am basically converting the image of a recite or any document into a pdf whith text automatically attached

Export that text

And scan for everything with a currency symbol

I could not figure out how to get the dates yet, but this looks good

Then i basically just scan receipts and have at least my cashflow mapped out

Without what exactly it is but at least i know how much i am spending

Like its no use to do the bookkeeping every month, when i can just make a picture of my receipts and get live data

Posted on


Time i get close to working

I get a constant urge to peel off my skin

To have the pain black out and drown my mind

Seems better than the neocapitalism offered

Probably ptsd from beeing in school

Like pressing ppl into cookie cutter stamps may work for some ppl

But others will not like that and try to take down your system as damaging as possible, for their lifetime

Not for a specific reason, just bc they learned you will hurt them so its fair game to hurt it

Yeah life is a unfair game, i agree, and am exited

Call it a system wide flagging system spanning generations

It is my holy social duty to do whatever comes to my mind, as its a subconscious expression

If working makes me wanna tell ppl to disassemble the state, i will do that

Bc like if that is what you want from your system, who am i to complain?

Like i know better

But i also dont care

Also i crave scrambled eggs for some reason ~

Posted on

May i just

Cant sleep, have to work tomorrow dont wanna

The red generation made the laws we now live in, its the biggest block of voters, since they became 18

Now with the pandemic, houses beeing unaffordable, meaning general birthrates going down, things do not look that good

Even if that generation dies, some wealth is redistributed, but generally things look bad

May i also not when those ppl got born

You know we are introducing psychedelics again, it may be connecting random things

Just as a random thaugt

Like solving things by voting and politics is a systematically stupid idea for this generation

Posted on

I will not sell

To them

They have not researched the topic, it would be irresponsible to sell to them

Also they ignored my question

Like they obviously belong together

Thats the good thing about selling yourself, you can refuse any customer you dont feel comfortable working with

Like they are asking for microdoses which reduces risk, but the behaviour is shady, they may just be lying

Like usually i would politley ask them to research, like i could refer them to the course on my website, but due to this being illegal soon, all those good helps fall away due to time restrictions

Like i am quite certain they will find some lsd, but it will not be my lsd

Like i think its clear to most reading that i want to make a good product

And that includes not selling to someone not prepared

Like i need to honor the danger of lsd

I was on building structures to feather that, but those will be continued later

Like thats the thing with the old shamanic tradition

You dont just give ppl the drugs

You need to give them the instructions too

They may ignore them, which is their right to learn

But not giving them at all is not something which should be done

I had a dream where someone asked me for some opioids, which i am not the person for but i may know fish who do

The first thing i asked was if they know how to get clean again when they get addicted

Like i will not sell opioids, even over 3 corners, to someone if i dont know, they know what they are doing

Like its beeing rude enaugh to ask if they know the danger asking them to proof it, and to refuse if they dont

Obviously offering to teach, have them inform themselves and then ask again beeing a door left open

Like idk, i feel responsible for ppl

Like you failed your student if you never asked them what they already know, they may even tell you something you didnt know

Like if you have someone completely addicted its rude to not sell to them, bc they qualify but are out of control

So you do something like

Okai i sell to you, but every time you come to me i will sell you half of the previous amount

Like they know whats going on if they are addicted

And you can do this cycle to infinity and reset it as often as you want for them

But in my view its just good manners to offer a insensitive out of addiction if they choose to

There are enaugh ppl selling no matter, as long as they pay, but like its not my game

Like its rude and selfish, but there are enaugh other sellers

Like i am odd, if you tell me you want to kill yourself with it, and you are convincing that you want that

I will trust you to make your own decision, and probably sell to you

If i happen to sell anything deadly

Bc thats your right to decide for yourself, not mine

But if you are lost by a unconscious process, i will question you

Like its the shamanic

You need to be responsible bc you get access to all the dangerous tools, even those that may kill you

Like ppl do the first tools like that and they learn quite quickly

Okai, i need to focus, or those will erase me

Posted on

You know

Your politics is so propagandistic

But i dont often hear

Thats how it was in the past, that is what we are doing, here are the numbers which were collected thats why we think it should be done different

Like i am no politician

But like it would be cool to have like every party provide actual concrete data you can compare

Instead of just the idea of what i should be

Like you can still so the whole propaganda stuff, but like ontop of the data

Posted on


Social stuff works in networks

You may make 1 person untrusting bc the son got a slap, but that person will not be likely to respond well to a speding ticket,

And will relay that to everyone around them

Like social things spread extremely subliminal and fast

Like there are cases when that is necessary, ppl loose control and such a thing may be exactly what they need to reset

Like young cops will be really sharp to prove and protect, like which they shood be thats a good thing thats how they learn

But if you have like drug ppl which are not new to this

They know the game

Oh you caught me with weed

Here you go send me the paperwork

Like if you have some aggressive, that young guy is a great asset

But its just a game which from its substructure is just not that alarming with like drugs

Like no one will immediately be in danger from drugs, if its clean drugs

As opposed to someone who is for instance aggressive

So its just, oh rules yeah

The danger with drugs is addiction, which is best combatted by social contact, which we cancelled out by making them illegal

Like a lot of things could be solved differently, like for instance with car tuning, a lot of things are just visual, but the problem is things are just made illegal

Like give pll the option to pay and contribute to the community if they really want it, but if its illegal, ppl will just break the law, and by that point, oh that part is illegal, i might just add more illegal stuff while i am over that line anyways

Like its a trust issue

As soon as you make unreasonable rules you open a door to just ignore all rules

Thats called corruption, like a corrupted file

Like you can have the loud exhaust, but it needs to be mechanically silencable and if you are loud during night time you pay

Like ppl understand that, they dont understand, oh the whole concept is just not permitted

Like ppl understand making reasonable compromises,

they dont understand

All negotiations have been ended, and we dont allow it

Like the solution to street racing is not making it illegal, like it was illegal in the first place

Its to provide a place where ppl can do it save

No one stops anything they want to do bc its illegal, why should that work?

Like things happening is generally something which makes communities grow

Like there is a whole thing about gouverments keeping drugs illegal to keep prices up, but thats another story

Posted on

The thing about

This whole drug thing is

We erased thousands of years of culture, which showed ppl how to not get lost and be responsible with it

Like ppl usually take drugs for a purpose

Yes psychological stuff counts as purpose

Or called recreational use wich is medical but not official

Like the structure was

Child has issues, shaman takes child and shows them how to use them, gives them a story, a cosmology

And thereby also a place in the society

But we inverted it

Like it was

You have a gift but you need to learn how to use it

Now its

You have a problem/illness and cant be integrated

Which like, obviously that will cause issues

Who would like that

Like thats a issue if prohibition

You cant stop ppl from doing things, you just destabilise the society

Like we tried, look at the results

Also like it totally eroded the trust to the police

Normally crimes are when someone gets hurt by someone, which everyone can kinda get behind

But if you start getting someones son in trouble for smoking weed, ppl will not like you

Its like a idea of righteousness which is broken

Like cops should be seen as the ppl you go to when you need help

Like its paw patrol

Its the reliable leader which represents the state

And thereby the whole state is seen as unjust

Like thats why i like police, bc what they represent was initially a good thing, its not their fault they got caught up in this

Like they are supposed to be a stabilising process, but with this, they become destabilising, which is bad for all parties involved

Its a structural problem which goes generations back

Like if you drive to fast, you did something wrong thats how it is, you are endangering ppl, thats understandable

But like suicide is legal, smoking weed is not, so its not even a, you are hurting yourself argument

Its just, no bc someone says so

Obviously that will cause problems

Like i would love to see police do things to stabilise society more

Like they have things to do too, but like provide random services to the public etc

Like here is how you can make sure your house is secure etc, whatever ppl need in that area like its area specific, else no one will care

But i guess that will not be recognised as well as you would want it, if that initial trust of the helping structure is not in place

Like i am a brat, i may be on the peak of a trip and go talk to the police if i see something is up

Just bc i automatically offer help, like it doesnt matter if i do something, at least they know the population is on their side

Like i have long forgotten that drugs are illegal, i just do what i think i need to do, no matter what state

Like if i am not in a position to help i dont offer, but like i think the human, do you need help? Is just more important for me than possible arrest bc of drugs

Posted on

Btw, in my dreams

You can clearly see the differences in the lifes between people using better and worse quality drugs

Like for instance speed is quite common with like factory jobs, bc how else do you survive a accord job~

What i noticed is that ppl with really good speed have a entirely different vibe

Like their life is as clean as the speed they take

Like the impurities of the compound somehow manifest in the thinking

Like good speed is entirely different than most stuff around

Like selling ppl usually get quite good speed

Like the call me 24/7

Oh you need a rare insect from Australia?

I will have it next week


And its obvious why they have that too

Its like a “hilfsstoff” in a factory

The oil for the machine

Its like a business part they need, so they care about the quality a lot

Posted on

Okai the laptop

So i disabled boot order lock and removed all devices besides the harddrive from boot order

Before that it was in a reset system boot loop

Now it seems to work

Meaning the thinkpad now has a bigger hard drive

The second hard drive needs to be backed up to get the other laptop running again, but i need quite some space

This harddrive should be almost empty tho, i should be able to put everything onto a stick and install pop

Posted on

May i say

Everyone is offering free istant payments, especially crypto,

Besides my bank, it takes like 2 days to get anything, like you can pay for instant payments but like

Thats a totally arbitrary fee

Like customers which order later get faster products just bc if payment method

Posted on


Gun training is something i always wanted

Like from what i know its extremely op

Like its a night and day advantage

Like hopefully your never in such a situation

But i am a odd person, i would like to have it just in case

Like the automated mechanical reflexes, like

I noticed that what doing that krav ma ga

Like i noticed

Oh i know this, i know fighting

Bc of doing fighting sports at a young age

Posted on


I need to slow down and think a bit

There is something odd waiting for me like 7 steps in front, 2-3 to the left and i am not sure yet what it is

Like i am operating from a place

Of a first world persons upbringing

I am quite aware of my innocent placement

And i am quite aware of that privlage (i dont know how to spell that, i dont use that word often) so i am walking a fine line

Of valuing that and doing what i do

There is a balance to be found between opertunity and loss, which is tricky

I need to understand which flow i want to follow, and not just get swept by causality

Then i act

Posted on

Can i


I still dont get money

Like i am doing money stuff

But it makes no sense

Like if it was a market with only physical products

But a digital product can be duplicated indefinitely and the price is quite arbitrary

Like we are probably adjusting via inflation/deflation

Like that would include coins and stuff

But like the entire market looks like a stormy weather map to me

Like we are adjusting boundaries from time to time, but the market itself in which we are living seems like a absolute mess

Posted on

I now know

What to put on the meme

A piano wearing pants

I cant find any historical pictures, may have been before images, but i feel like i have seen a painting or something ~

So how would piano pants look like?

I can probably use knee-highs, those are recognisable

Posted on

I could go back to my original plans

Like i wanted to go to india, get some gold and sassafras oil

Like i know i should just import some pmk, but i want to go to india

Like i like gold, you can let someone quite easily make it into any shape you desire

Like i will obviously tax it properly ^~^

There was also something in a state report, about ppl taking common drugs, changing them into a non active form, transporting them and then reverting, which basically makes it legal to transport

Like it was outlined that its rarely done, but almost undetectable

Like i met some indian guy, and he suggested me a place to visit

Like we suggested it bc there are the dead literally laying in the streets

Like he was recommending on a psychedelic basis

Like yeah i am quite interested in that

I would also be quite interested in making that pink cocaine

Of course i would never do that, just as a mind game

Posted on

The problem with trans is

The line to girl is so easily disturbed by a beard

Like i just want to get cheesecake

Like it would be effort to look like a girl

Like we are talking a difference in hair thickness and growth due to hormones

Not general upkeep

So i might as well not care, like i am just getting cheesecake

Like i am a artist, i can not not be aware of something which does not mach visually, or i am hyper aware of it,

Like i look cute as a girl

But untill the hormones, i may just ignore it quite some

However, lets get cheesecake and the write everything non business back

Like i need hours to do anything, like i am still im bed, its 2 pm

Posted on

Bout my marketing,

I have a free day, i know, still

Lemme just write that down

Before i forgot it

So i will draw a penis

And then add

“drugs are legal”

Thats how memes work right?

Stupid, sharable, easy to understand, lol penis

Like thats actually a challenge for me

Idk i have a aversion to drawing penises


Whats the plural?

However, may be trans related that i avoid it

So i need to figure out how to draw a penis, simply it and

Do it in a way which aesthetically pleases me

Like it needs to be symmetric

Like i am not gonna golden ratio a penis..



But i dont know how i get a good blend between meme having it look like you have no idea what your doing, and branding

Like i want good design, but the shitty one will probably be the better one for spreading

The penis is like a placeholder for anything rand9m

Like why is this saying drugs are legal and there’s 2 lobsters having a tee party

Actually thats not bad

.. First rule of business operations, never trust marketing!

Still i like it, its such a creative endeavour

Like a meme is basically meaning condensed

And i am mostly trowing out meaning with buckets

So if its worth saving, it’ll spread, no matter if its understood

(Meaning > Meme) * spredability

Posted on


What do i do tomorrow

My business collapsed

Great ^~^ Thats a free day

Feels like i have been doing stuff since forever

Ill find someone in the area to cuddle with

Maybe have some cheesecake

And the day after i rewrite my structures

Sounds good

Posted on

I feel like

This low selling with lsd

Is like a synergistic pattern like with microorganisms, where they build a larger structure

The thing i was at with lets spread money

But it also feels like a trap to me for some reason

Like something is fishy bout that

Its like acid is the opertunity to be yourself

Acid is quite psychoanalytic

It feels like i would be throwing away the chance to express myself

Which is normally, like yeah thats a supply chain

But by acid beeing so individual, amplifying the individual

It would seem contradictory to not take that opertunity

At least to me

Its like furrys loving free expression, but highly guarding their social borders to the public, to a extend where they cut ppl down to not raise suspension

Idk it feels kinda odd to me

Like i get the structural ideas, but reality is messy

Like do you believe in the idea or not?

Social dynamics are complex, i get that

But like you are doing the dualistic, a public ego and a unconscious

Like you are mirroring that structure, and by that you get all the problems of that

Of having to defend the public ego against the reality of the unconscious

And bc furrys are a animal archetype, which, if you ask me smells like a dionysean (dyonysus the god ) /shamanic structre, to me

You are incorperating the rebirth of a structure which was supressed by the church for a long time

The return of the drugs, the sex, 

Feels like this should be a triad, but might just be trained pattern matching

The psychedelic

So like obviously the old structures are not gonna be happy about that, whatever you do

Like there is the best war is the war never fought

But also like

Never bet against the general market trend

Like the public is a bratty 4 yo bich in general

So trying to please that seems like a odd choice

Like i get that you want less crying

But at some point someone needs to tell them

Its like trying to make everything child friendly, will not remove the fear a parent has for their child, from the outside world

I would like to note that i am always speaking for myself, and it always seems odd to me to even say that

Its my personal opinion, like obviously, i am not the church, who elses oppinion should it be?

Like am i speaking for furrys, no

Am i a partial representation, obviously every part of a whole is such

Its like they have made a open system, so its kind hard to patrol borders like that

Like i can always overwrite representing the furry fandom with my normal persona

Like its just a hobby, so what my normal persona does always outweighs that

Like things are a lot more complex than that with social dynamics, but the assumption you can control anything is already ignoring the complexity of what your looking at with social variables

Posted on

My cat

Is getting fat

Like i had this moment of acid where i was like

Why u so hungry is no one feeding you?

Then i realised

Thats the most robust cat thats respected by all the other cats

And i just saw it as like a wild cat dropping by sometimes

But like i guess i match quite well with that cat

Probably no one was feeding it, bc its a big cat it can get its own food, so if it does not get food, ppl still dont give it food

Thats when i realised

Oh your my cat

Your just as free and uncontrollable as me

Thats why your here

So i began feeding it bc a cat seemed like a good measure of my economics

Like if the cat does not have milk, then i dont have enough money

Like i wasnt feeding it at all before that, like besides random meat when i had some

Like the cat was here before me, its a outside cat

So now it seems i am overfeeding my finances,

Which means by understanding how i feed the cat better i can understand how to spend better

Like i spend a bit on milk, but that information is so much more valuable

Like i buy the fatty milk, bc i am too light

But i might feed the cat the light milk,

Nah, it likes good taste as much as me

Ill just figure out how much a cat should get to drink

Like normally a cat is quite trouble, bc you need to clean its toilet, but like its a smart cat it usually tells me when it wants out

Or shits on my carpet

But i think it learned, it was not allowed in for some time

Which is odd for this cat

Bc i see it walking, and we have a understanding, i open the door a bit

Like i am always walking somewhere, doing something, so i walk by the door a lot

So the cat knows when i open the door a bit, then its bc i know its there, and she should come in before i close it again, bc then its closed until i walk by again

Actually the cat is walking in and out during the whole day like that

Like i had this moment where i was looking at the cat bc it was sitting in front of the door

Bc this cat usually knows what its doing,

Like i am laying down and the cat sees i am finally resting, gets up from her sleeping place, cuddles to me and sleeps

Like this is a smart cat

So i was looking at it like, what?

Oooh you dont have hands

Like i usually leave the door a bit open so it can push it herself since then, and it works great

Like i think it understands it shouldn’t do that anymore

Maybe i did have the door closed, i hope not, like i, oooh i was sleeping

It probably tryed to tell me..

Well, it got a lot of milk out of it

Why did i ever start doubting that cat, its way smarter than me and my sleep rhythms, it just lacks hands

Yeah, i think that was my fault, still why the carpet

Like it was under the desk, like its dark there, i dont think the cat was proud of doing that, i should be more understanding

Also like you can say i am projecting human emotions on a animal which does not have said

But like cats, if they are mad at you, they have a thing where they will purposefully sht on like your bed, like proudly

If i ever write a book about economics, ill title it

Cat economics

And it will sound like a fancy acronym, but its referencing a actual cat

Posted on

Like i had a dream where at that time i was growing mushrooms, like i was a out there mf

Like i am not regretting that i broke up with her, like girl needed someone better than me at the time

Like my relationships are as my territory

Lighting stroms and calm wite snow

I am still waiting for a girl which can do such territory long term

I have seen 1 till now, but i lost contact

From my side, which i regret, bc she was really smart, like brilliantly smart, but terribly depressed bc of it

Like there is a difference between wanting and beeing able to do it

I had a girl really want to, but like the territory was eating her alive, like i couldnt watch that

The thing is transgender does not mean my sexual preferences automatically switch with it

Like i have a big thing for some girls, and like guys i like those too

Like its just girls are usually quite aesthetic, like the ones i tend to be around

And i quite value that, bc i quite value beauty

Like i am a artist

Not on a superficial level, but on a deep level, i am fascinated by beauty in itself, for itself

Which girls just tend to be more familiar with

Like i had girls from different structures

Like there are quite dirty girls, like nasty, but generally really clean and tidy

Like those i tend to like bc its trouble keeping that up, but i appreciate someone trying to have stable sorting routines

Bc i do that

Like thats what creative ppl do

We automatically sort everything in our area, we are just so good at sorting, that we oversort into infinity

Like there are girls that dont care, and thats totally okai, like its a lot to keep up, i get it

Its just personal preference of having thing neatly sorted in general

But beeing quite dirty, bc you know your general stuff is sorted

Its like you build all the structure, to make it this fun to ignore it

Like i guess i am just kinky

I tend to do quite well with those type of girls

Like the smarter girls usually have their sub routines quite figured, while some other girls are questionably

Like i am playing on hard mode anyways, so i wont judge anyone there

I just go lost under another post^~^

But like there is a difference between someone sorting with fur and marble

And someone sorting with whatever is trend rn

Like Trends are fun, but like the base level of understanding of how patterns work behind that is something which quite shows

Like everything around me is littered with divine sybolism no one will probably recognise

But its that level of understanding deeper patterns of reality which manifests in how you arrange a simple table

And ppl will never understand why it looks like that, and its too much to explain

Like there is a difference in girls who understand what they are doing

And girls who want to look like they do

Posted on


Lets push this^~^

Like i finally got my marketing figured out

If your still confused, i am not just a acid shop, i am the entire ACIDental brand, so i will just keep operating the brand without acid:p

But now i am connected to acid

Like i got the acid namespace, furry, diapers, programming, transgender, etc

Like i am collecting places to build in the social structure ^~^

Like the main frame is still artist

Posted on

To that i take a tab^~^

Like the ppl that make the rules make them based on a world which is long gone

So i hereby just declare their decision making as irrelevant

And we can skip to planning and making the actual future

Like i just push counter propaganda

Drugs are legal

Like its not a discussion, i am just shamelessly overwriting it

Like they declared war on drugs, thereby on its population years ago, its not like it was a respectful discourse in the first place

Posted on

Huh lsd is illegal

Soon, if anyone wants some, now is the time

Actually, thats quite handy, i wanted to build out my socials anyways^~^

Like i didn’t hope for it, and its stressing, like i obviously have to destroy all the acid^~^

But like that business, ill be back later

Like i wanted to build out anyways, like if you buy lsd, u probably cam use glowsticks etc, so like i can make it a

Lsd Accessoire shop untill i continue^~^

I am shocked, but also quite relieved, bc i dont have to look that much after the store

Like now its a side project

Like i decided to build here, i am not moving

adjust your rules

Like please give me a enemy for my ideology

Like ill sell the vibe without the lsd to the ppl selling lsd

Like i can sell the good packaging to anyone interested and mark it as anti state, like that not bad in my view ^~^

The market is not waiting for your decisions

But we’ll see

Posted on

In a dream

I learned while selling weed in that dream

That ppl are willing to pay for quality

Like if you are selling to broke ppl thats a different story

Warren buffet had that, where he had a sales event and no one baught, so he asked ppl why that is

And it was just that no one in that room had any money :p

But like as soon as you are out of that low range, ppl go

I need some weed, price is not important

So if you can deliver a good product to those ppl, you have great customers, which have money

Also if someone broke tells their social field, you will probably get more ppl, buying, but they all have no money

But the same applies to customers with money

Like its hard to make a good product, but like i said before, you pick your place

So, id rather push up prices and have a good product, than doing thee opposite and get trapped in this price war

Rule nr 57

Posted on


I will probably push up prices, bc i just have waay too much cool stuff i want to put in there

And i may ask the pup ppl from the dating app, if they wanna trow in a discount for their stuff

Like ask some businesses if they want to throw in some discounts

Great Marketing for them, great for the customers

Posted on


I cant go

Oh its a gift,

Well here we offer this great gift package, with this and this perk which make it great

That needs to change

Like i could do cool stuff like a plushy and or a psychedelic toy, candy etc

Like thats the reason i keep prices so high, to be able to do stuff like that, so i should do that^~^

Like i really fell asleep

Posted on

Great idea,

A gift version

Thats such a great idea

Like i am so big into packaging design, i can make that specifically for that purpose ^~^

Like i now have the ability to filter ppl via the questionnaire ^^

The laptop needs another hour to run a script, but the i get onto making that^~^

Posted on

Welp, nothing

We can do about that

To recap, we are expecting 60% of customers to not buy, else our prices are too low

Like we can always lower prices

To that, a higer margin on less sales may amount to the same as a low margin with high sales

But with low margins you get into a price war with the competitors

Said before, low and middle segment of the market are shit, we want high

This person is looking to buy as low as possible, which is not me

I may do both at some point to spread money but thats in the future

You learn that quit quickly with commissions, bc furrys are trying to outprice each other and are fighting for customers

While in the same marketplace furrys are changing quite high prices

The price kinda reflects on the product

Like if its a good product, why is it so cheap?

Also feedback loop stuff

But they are right, i should order stronger tabs next time

Like both positions of selling work, but you pick your place and have to exist with it

Posted on

I overlooked something

You remember the lsd guy

Which i was like, that can be done better

Wait i cant critique someone and not try myself to so it better

Lets sell lsd

He was like respoing to someone and delivering the assets in person

The store was not the first step

I think its using already established platforms with traffic

Btw barq seems to have quite some ppl around

A lot more than howler or furmap

Posted on


Could say i am not really social

But i just a brat

Like i am just bad to ppl and dont care a, lot

I also made the observation, as soon as its a furry, i am quite social

Not bc i am better but bc the social rules are different

Like there are a lot of programmers so you have a lot of systematic, engineering thinking

It seems like a social filter

There are still other factors, like i seem to do well with smart ppl

Like ppl who can think quite quickly

I am probably not really social bc i am a brat, bc i am not interested

But honestly i dont know what you would do about that

Like you cant force someone to genuinely care about something

Like i usually get what i know i want

I want to sell lsd, i go sell lsd

I am quite sure i can just befriend ppl

Like just be nice and happy and ask someone if they want to be your friend

But like i wouldnt really care and it would become quite noticeable over time

Like i am tripping over that quite a bit

Like i know ppl i am just not writing

Sf got me into this rabbit hole bc they asked


Ill just see if someone interesting comes by

Like someone can offer me sex and i may not care if the person is not interesting

Well, it depends on how bored and cuddly i am

Weed is quite reliable at getting me interested

But like it seems to be a matter of character

Posted on


I just got stuck on the dating thing and saw my occupation

I like myself sometimes

The thing about these apps is like

No one cares

I write back after like a month

Like those apps are usually not that interesting

I think i met 1 really interesting person on those

And we were both extremely irritated by each other bc we could not understand what the other was trying to say:p

So we were basically block text screaming at each other try to figure out whats going on:D

And like i swipe away so many ppl without thinking twice

Like i like weed ppl sometimes, and besides that,

This time i liked a girl thats like programming

Basically anything basic goes out the window anyways

Oh, i like ppl into sport, bc its never a bad idea to have someone arround who is motivated to do sport, like who cares bout a relationship

I had like all the apps at some point,

There are like some diaper girls on tinder and stuff, they are chill

But i think its basically pay 2 play from what i heard now

And yeah, i know ppl use snapchat, but i was never a snapchat person, and if i do i am quite rude, bc i dont care what i ss

Or put differently, it gets quite rude if i dont ss something and you get the pattern of me ss ing everything i like~

Like u usually notice when i am present

Bc i am having fun with the story

if i dont care i am really lost somewhere else

So if i dont ss ppl also know that i am not even present

Also like, why would i post stories, i can just post stuff publicly

It just gives a false sense of beeing secure

Like i saw so many dealers post on snap

Maybe thats just me not trusting stuff

Like my impressum is still empty, bc i have not sold any lsd via the shop

I put it in when i sell something

Bc i just don’t trust stuff, like i need proof before i give out information

Like i am still below the traffic i calculated so everything in plan

Which reminds