This girl is such a light of hope

I will hug her so hard she will need to change her panties and i wont be able to grab anythng for a week

Like if thing turn down i will need to stop postig and burn down everything or i will hate myself if i ever see her again

Thing is i know how unconcious processes work

The ptsd will 100% win if i have to take that one path

Its not a question,i can conciously struggle as much as i want

But the deeper process will always win

Its not a question if ,its just a question of time

I will be so happy after this is resolved after the opperation even if i am scared of it