Why

Why

Do i even try to get something done at the end of the cycle ~

Btw

Mine seemed quite strained yesterday

My general life seems to irritate them a bit

Like they are getting their license etc

Like it feels like to me

When i locked myself out and just like did whatever i did

That kinda triggered a control issue

Bc they are checking if they can

Like if we fight physically, can i overpower you

But in general

And i may have made myself too out of reach

Maybe betrayal, bc the thaught they knew me and then i do something they didn’t expect

I think behind whatever it is, is the fear of loosing me

Bc they said in relation to something

Then i am not the right person for you

And i didnt know how to respond

But that smells like fear of loosing

If i tell you i will go, do you care, am i important to you?

Its probably that i can just like that suddenly move into a different direction

Maybe they were worried about me

Yes, yes i do, else i wouldn’t live with you stupi

May be general life thats stressing them too

But yesterday they were really different

Like i feel like

Without the hormones we annoy each other quite a lot

But with it calm again

Like i have the calm of a sage, i am getting thrown into hell and feathered into heaven on a monthly cycle

Like my stress tolerance may be other ppls insanity

Like i am a sub

I am waiting for them to give me rules and tell me what to do

But they just never do

They try and then go,. Nah joke

While i was already happily obliging

They dont pull threw and it frustrates me

Like i feel like they are cautious about giving me rules, bc they dont know if they can contain me if i bite in response

Which no, probably not

But theres no need to, i am giving them the leash, they can tie me up

Like my skillset makes many things possible

So i really enjoy being restricted

Bc it limits my options and gives me peace of mind

But they just won’t restrict me!

Like if you are trying to match, do the power levels match

Obv not

But i said that before me finding someone on the same frequency with the same amplitude is rare af

Like i am avoiding to say it

But if someone on that level is interested

They will just pick mine up and put them to the side while mine is convinced its the best thing for them

Like i keep the structure open so i dont loose them if something like that should happen

Like such ppl can apply ideologys and idea systems like they see fit

They can get it without crossing any moral borders

Mine is not even perceived as a threat

Like they probably also offer them partner

Like if i know the statistics, they do too

Like nono i will not betray them, its not even a argument on that skill level

I mean i will always support mine as dearly as possible

But like if something with interest ever should show up, the scales are quite clear

Like i am deeply aware of it, and i am ignoring it, focusing on beeing with mine

Bc mine is what i picked and they mine

And i stay loyal to them

Like they so sexually repressed ~

I wont say why but it odd

Bc their mum is making sexual jokes, bc i am obv also posing how sexually open i am

And everyone meets mine like, they are basically ace

No interest in sex, like not really

More they are scared of it

, of themselves

Like i am a kinky kitty,

Tie me up and fuck me already

Like i am waiting for them to grow as a person and come up here already, instead of lamenting the differences

Girl we get invited to the sex parties everyone else wants to go to

And do nothing there

Are you wasting your youth on purpose?

Like i am

So

Anno

Yed by it, bc i usually am understanding etc, its their choice etc, but it drives me crazy

Are y

Ou

Alive or not, do you want to experience or not, whats this indicicion aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa